Polyamory in the News!
. . . by Alan M.

February 26, 2009

Morning shock jocks do a stinker

The Lex and Terry Show
WJRR, Orlando

Read the last 200 posts here, and you might think almost nobody in the media ever really craps on us. Well, Joreth was channel-surfing on her car radio in central Florida this morning, and she sends this (reprinted with permission):

I hit a station right as a DJ said "don't tell anyone you're a polydactylidite or whatever," and that caught my attention. So I listened and, sure enough, it was a female polyamorous caller getting rudely insulted by a couple of morning DJs.

[Later] I went to the station's website and found a recording of this morning's show. I was appalled. Please, everyone, we need to inundate this radio station and these DJs with respectful, intelligent letters telling these assholes that this kind of behavior is not acceptable....

Basically, one of these guys... fancies himself a "life coach", or so he says in a segment right before this one. A woman called in, I think, to ask how to handle people who treat her rudely when they find out about her polyamory. I'm not entirely sure this was the question because she kept getting interrupted to be called names like whore.

She is married and has 3 kids by her husband. She has a live-in boyfriend and is pregnant by him. As far as I could tell, the situation is happy as she mentioned her two partners are friends. She started out saying that she was polyamorous, and when the DJs stumbled over the term and asked her, she explained that she was married and had a boyfriend. They responded:

"Oh, so you're a whore"

She giggled and tried to explain in between their insults the situation she found herself in. I have to admit that she was a much better sport than I would have been. Here are a selection of quotes from the show:

"You have no respect for either one of these guys"

"The more you talk, the goofier you look"

"The best thing you can do is shut your mouth about it and don't tell anyone you're a polyactyldite. If you don't want reactions, shut your face."

"Quit trying to sound intelligent, it's not working for you"

"You cocky stupid dumb bitch who thinks she's really cool but really isn't"

"You're stupid, basically. You're starved for attention, that's all you want is attention, you wanna act like you're something different and you're not. You're like every other lost chick who thinks she's sexy and you're not. I bet you're pale white, you're fat, you're disgusting"

She claimed that she didn't care that people gave her wierd looks, but she only wished they gave her the same amount of respect as a fellow human that she gave to them in spite of their differences. The DJ asked why. She stuttered a bit, clearly not expecting that anyone would disagree, that anyone would think it is acceptable to give differing levels of respect to different people. She countered by asking if the DJs approved of poor treatment of homosexuals or lesbians for their lifestyle choices. They responded:

"don't compare yourself to a homosexual or lesbian" and "you weren't born this way, you didn't make this choice at birth, you made that conscious decision"

I very sorely wanted to call in to explain that, much like straight men, poly people can be "born" that way and later "choose" to engage in relationships according to their nature, just as gay men are born gay but choose to engage in gay relationships.... We all choose our actions, but we do not necessarily choose our inclinations....

He finally stopped insulting her and just told her that it was all her fault, if she just stopped telling people she was poly, then people would stop insulting her. She made the mistake (IMO) of saying that it was habit for her because she's very involved in community awareness. So he ended the conversation with a last parting shot:

"See, I was right, you like the attention, otherwise known now as 'community awareness'"

The website, with a link to the audio recording, is http://wjrr.com/pages/lexandterry.html, and this particular exchange takes place approximately 41 minutes into the [February 26] show - but I think this might change every day, as I didn't see an archive link or any way to choose which show to listen to.

You can email them directly at theshow@lexandterry.com or you can call them at 866-977-Do Us (3687).

I strongly recommend copying the program director in on your correspondence, at programdirector@realrock1011.com and please post this warning and your own exchanges on any and all personal blogs, websites, etc. to spread the word. All names and other means of contact can be found on the station's Contact Us page at http://wjrr.com/pages/contact.html.

You know what to do....

A look at the show's porny homepage and it's clear that sexist shock-jockism is their stock in trade. ("No healthy sex allowed," comments Sparkler looking over my shoulder.) Me, if I found myself in that conversation, I'd have hung up on them on air. Useful tactic to remember.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Something tells me that complying to shock jocks that they are rude morons is like telling a duck it is a duck.

At the same time, the calling in to ask them for advice is about like asking the meat grinder to be nice to your hand as you try and pull your fingers out of it.

The better suggestion is to contact the companies that advertise on the station, cc in the marketing director, and discuss how Terry & Lex have insulted you and your family.

February 27, 2009 5:55 AM  
Blogger Adam Zadeh said...

I agree with morgaath. The jocks are there being stupid because that's what their listening public wants to here.

However applying pressure to the advertiser and marketing director is going to carry a lot more weight in the long run.

February 27, 2009 6:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's why I suggested copying in the program director and included his email address directly.

February 27, 2009 7:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have found, because I listen to too much radio, that they insult EVERYONE. I wouldn't take it to heart too much, because I don't think it would matter what anyone called in as, they'd have the piss taken out of them anyway.

And it might just have introduced a new word to someone who didn't know it before, who might well go on to explore it elsewhere.

February 27, 2009 7:26 AM  
Blogger Barbarian said...

I actually think sending complaint about these guys will only confirm to them (and their bosses) that they are doing something right! No, not morally, but they're generating ratings and controversy which is exactly what they want.

Certainly you could contact the advertisers, etc., but that feels a bit too close to me for punishing them for their (idiotic) opinions. As much as I obviously disagree with them I just can't do that. (Although I can make it a point to avoid programs like that and I do!)

February 27, 2009 9:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All I can think when I hear stuff like this from judgmental people is "So how do they justify and reconcile their cheating?" Nuff' said.

February 28, 2009 2:20 PM  
Anonymous Brandi said...

I am an avid Lex and Terry listener, and anyone calling them knows what they are getting in to. It's the same deal as on the show "Frasier" when people would call to be insulted by Bulldog. They are insulting because it's funny. Sometimes they make a valid point, sometimes they are just asses. It's just humor, get the stick out of your ass. They listeners love them, that's why they call. And BTW, it is whorish to have a husband and a boyfriend. You can stick a medical name on it, but she's still a cheater.

October 02, 2009 8:19 PM  

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