If you represent polyamory well, the British tabloids and their worldwide partners are eager for your story to intrigue, or shock, their readers. Here's another typical happy result (the Daily Mail online version):
Mary Crumpton has a husband Tim (right), a fiancé John Hulls (left), and two boyfriends.
My controversial polyamorous lifestyle works fine for me, my husband, my live-in fiancé and my TWO boyfriends says Mary, 44, from Chorlton-cum-Hardy
Meet the 44-year-old therapist who has a husband, a fiancé and two boyfriends.
Mary Crumpton, from Chorlton, is speaking publicly about her relationships in the hope of allowing others to understand people who follow the practice of polyamory.
...Mary, who became interested in polyamory when she was 29, has a husband, Tim, 43, a fiancé, John, 53, and two boyfriends - Michael, 63, and James, 73. She lives with Tim and John and the other two men live nearby.
The former teacher said: 'I was brought up in quite a traditional home. I had boyfriends and was monogamous. Having more than one partner never crossed my mind. In my twenties I got married and settled down in Chorlton fully intending to be with my husband for life. ...
'The idea that loving more than one person might not make me a terrible human being only dawned on me when, at a pub, I bumped into a person who had more than one partner. I had never come across it before, or the term "polyamory" which means "more-than-one love". I was quite shocked, and curious about how it all worked for them. 'My partner was with me, and he was curious about it too. At the time neither of us considered it for ourselves, but I think the seed had been planted.'
In 2003, she suggested to her partner they could try an open relationship: 'I took to it immediately. I had a friend that I was already close to and that friendship drifted very naturally into something more.
'My partner had a similar experience with a friend of his. It was a revelation to me. I quickly realised that I had been "wired up" this way probably all my life - loving more than one person now seems like the most natural thing in the world to me and I can't imagine being any other way.
'For me, it is all about love. Of course, some of my relationships have been sexual, but sex is not the driving force for me.
Today, she says,
'I have a partner, John, 53, who I have been with since 2011, and who I am planning to 'marry' this year. We can't legally marry, but we are having a full wedding-style commitment ceremony at Chorlton Unitarian church in May.'
Mary said her [current] husband and fiancé are friends: 'Tim and John get on well, I suppose a bit like brothers, going on bicycle rides together for example.'
She says that boyfriend Michael spent last Christmas with them, and that she bonded with her other partner James over football.
... 'Living in a house with more than one partner is something I have done for a number of years now. I suppose in many ways it is no different from living in a shared house with a group of friends, or family. All the usual things about whose turn it is to wash up etc. Tim and John get on well, I suppose a bit like brothers, going on bicycle rides together for example.
'So it seems to work okay. They have something in common in that they both love me of course, and friends joke that I need two of them to keep me in line.
'Like in any relationship, insecurities can arise. Though in some ways there is less jealousy perhaps - no fear that a partner might cheat on me because why lie about it when having another partner is allowed anyway?
'Sometimes there might be a fear that a new partner is 'better' in some way than a current one, but good communication and offering reassurances allows that to be dealt with.
'In many ways I have found that being in open relationships has forced me to communicate much better. I am very honest and open with my partners about my feelings and needs, in a way that I didn't have the courage to be in previous monogamous relationships. So I think I have grown as a person, and have better and stronger relationships now.
'Of course, all of that is possible in monogamous relationships, and I am not suggesting polyamory is in any way better, just different. But it works well for me personally.
...'I get different reactions. Most people are interested and people often say 'I wish my wife/husband would let me do that'. I sometimes get negative reactions too - I have been called a slapper or a slag. I think that negativity mostly arises because I am doing something a bit different and sometimes that can make people feel uncomfortable. ... Polyamory is more widely known about now too so it is perhaps less of a shock to people now than it might have been, say, 10 years ago.
...'Cohabiting with two of my partners makes things easier financially for us. So much so, that the three of us took the decision that I would reduce my paid-work hours and do more unpaid voluntary work in our community.
'The only negative for me really is dealing with other people being judgemental sometimes. But thankfully I am quite thick-skinned. And I hope that my being open about it with friends, and your readers, will help people understand polyamory better.'
Mary is standing at the next local election for the Chorlton ward, representing the Green Party.
She got eight straight paragraphs of uninterrupted quotes!
The whole article, with many pix (April 8, 2018). Versions also appear in Metro UK, The Sun, the Daily Star, the Manchester Evening News, the Mirror, the Scottish Daily Record, Germany's TZ, Hungary's Blikk, HuffPost South Africa, Nigeria's FiloPost and NAIJ, Indonesia's Tribun News, the Chinese-language papers Apple Daily and ETtoday, the Chinese-language broadcaster SETN, and others.
Happy-poly stories must be proven click generators.
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