"Polyamory? Your How-To Guide in Loving More Than One"

Utne Reader

The December 8, 2005, issue of the Utne Reader, a well-established monthly magazine of "the best of the alternative media," highlights Franklin Veaux's much-linked-to web site on polyamory for beginners (and for the pretty experienced too). Some of us have been nagging Franklin to hurry up already with the book he's writing; maybe this extra recognition will help push him along.

What makes it work is the love and emotional intimacy shared by all participants, built just like in a monogamous relationship on a foundation of trust, open communication, and mutual respect. And, says Veaux, when these elements are in place, then you have a network of people who deeply care for one another's well-being, something that is beautiful and emotionally sustaining....

It's not a utopia, though, and it's not for everyone. Veaux claims that polyamory and monogamy are relationship styles that people seem hardwired for, either by nature or nurture. And just like with monogamous couples, dysfunction and heartbreak are always possibilities. So becoming poly isn't necessarily an instantaneous recipe for love and happiness. According to Veaux, it's more difficult than monogamy — you have to carefully maintain each one of your partnerships, and while love may be infinite, time and energy are not.

Read the whole article.