Unveiling poly in Mexico

Various media

A glowing account of polyamory as an alternative way of life has appeared in several mainstream Mexican newspapers and news sites. The article is supposedly from the major national newspaper El Universal, but I don't find it there.

Translated:

Poliamor: to love several people at once

Mexico City — Is it really possible to love two people at once? Is it promiscuous? Perverse? Those who love multiple partners at once say that to the contrary, it is healthier than hiding relationships that can hurt third parties, or fourths, or fifths.

These are polyamorists, and polyamory means having several consensual relationships at the same time, where all the people involved in the relationship are fully aware of the existence of one or more others. These relationships are not necessarily sexual.

The characteristics that determine poliamoría — a term coined in the late 80s by a pagan priestess, Morning Glory Zell — are communication, ethics, honesty, love and loyalty above fidelity. Capabilities, in many cases, quite opposite to those found in a traditional relationship.

...Poliamoristas or poliamorosos say their philosophy is only an acceptance of human nature. They say the enemy is not pure and natural sex, only deceit and betrayal, according to a study published in the Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality on what polyamory is and isn't.

...Polyamory is just beginning to be known in Mexico, with a national website (poliamoria.com), a Yahoo discussion group, and three groups that gather to share experiences, meet others with the same preferences and make friends.

Those who live this way of love do not want the world to become "poly," as they are called, but to accept the possibility that monogamy could become an outdated option that is not keeping up with change and with modern life that needs relationship forms to evolve.

According to data from the Mexican Institute of Sexuality in Mexico City... the marriage rate is declining and although young people do not dare say they will not marry, making that decision may take decades.

There is disillusion and a crisis in the institution of marriage and monogamous marriage. Paulina Millán, a psychologist and research for Imesex, says the rule in polyamory is there are no rules; "each partner brings their own. One couple can open to a third person, or be a family of five. There is always a primary, which is the deep and close bond, and secondaries, which are satellite links."

Millan says that "we can not find everything we like and makes us happy in a single person. You can find satisfactory relationships with different people."

Included is a sidebar about a survey of 700 Mexicans taken in 2004; 64% said humans are naturally polygamous, and 51% of both men and women said it is possible to love more than one person at a time.

A second sidebar lists some pros and cons of polyamory and some psychological requirements. A third describes varieties: triads, group families, intimate networks, open couples, and polyfidelity. A fourth is titled "Poliamor vs. Swinger."

Read the whole article (in Metro Noticias de Tamaulipas, July 5, 2009, under a photo of the "Big Love" cast together in bed).

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