"Yes we get jealous"

Creative Loafing (Tampa)

Creative Loafing is a chain of alternative newspapers mostly in the South. (Their slogan: "Shelter from the mainstream," with a fallout-shelter symbol.) On the website of the Tampa Bay paper, columnist Camile has put up another how-we-do-poly article. It addresses a basic question that always gets asked.

Yes, jealousy occurs in poly relationships. We’re no more excluded from it than a monogamous couple. The form it takes depends on the situation and people involved. Examples I’ve personally witnessed range from the traditional “I’m afraid you’ll find someone better and leave me,” to “I’m not jealous. I just don’t like that person and don’t want you to date them.” The most common form of jealousy revolves around Partner A being so wrapped up in New Relationship Energy (aka “shiny new person” or “honeymoon” phase) that Partner B feels neglected.

The Puppy and I have run into our share of jealousy. On more than one occasion, what we each thought was jealousy turned out to be a case of, “the idea of this person and sex makes me nauseous. The idea of them fucking you makes me so nauseous that I reach for the Pepto.”...

...There’s no blanket solution. A combination of sources usually helps me work things out on my end. The first time it happened to me, I ran a Google search for “polyamory jealousy,” and bookmarked the really good sites (links provided below)....

Read the whole article.

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