Lovers? "Sharing is caring"

The Citizen (South Africa)

A columnist for a mass-market tabloid paper in the Johannesburg/Pretoria region, circulation nearly a half million, informs his readers about the poly possibility:

Sharing is caring

Thanks to modern technology, groups of people who share niche interests or philosophies have been given unprecedented opportunities to communicate with like-minded people.

By Michael Coetzee

...Proponents and adherents of polyamory are one such group that has found in the Internet the perfect vehicle to meet and communicate with others who follow the same lifestyle, or who are simply curious to find out more about it.

...Polyamory is often confused with polygamy, something most South Africans are aware of.... The difference is apparent in the names — polygamy is having more than one spouse (usually more than one wife) and is often a cultural or religiously inspired practice. Polyamorists, on the other hand, are people who believe it is possible to have more than one romantic relationship at the same time.

...There may be sex involved, but like any good romantic relationship, polyamorous ones are based firstly on love and affection. It is also not about promiscuity or cheating — all the persons involved are well aware of what is going on.

There exists an infinite variety of expressions of polyamory — some involve three or more people living together, two couples who live together or meet regularly, or even eight people living together.

Most people involved come up with their own rules for these relationships.
A term often used by polyamorists is “compersion”, which they describe as the opposite of jealousy.

It is described as “a state of empathetic happiness and joy experienced when an individual’s romantic partner experiences happiness and joy through an outside source, including, but not limited to, another romantic interest”.

...Neurological research also backs up the assertion that the brain can love — romantically and in other ways — more than one person at the same time, and in equal measure.

Polyamory will probably never become the dominant paradigm in our society, nor is it likely to ever find much mainstream acceptance.

But it stands as proof that there’s always more than one way of approaching life, and that what works for some may not work for others.

With serial monogamy seemingly keeping most people miserable, perhaps polyamory will eventually become more popular than people think after all.

Read the whole article (Oct. 29, 2010).

Tip o' the hat to Greenfizzpops, who runs the South African poly site ZAPoly and its Yahoo discussion group. She often picks up interesting items worldwide.

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