"Could Polyamory Be the Key to Lasting Marital Bliss — Even for Parents?"

AlterNet

More good press because some excellent poly exemplars impressed an outsider. Thanks, people!

Could Polyamory Be the Key to Lasting Marital Bliss — Even for Parents?

By Toni Nagy / AlterNet

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...Once you have [a baby], there will be no more quickies on the kitchen floor or against the living room door. (That’s how little Johnny gets traumatized and experiences his first primal wound.) Sexual spontaneity takes a back seat to planning, scheduling and trying not to fall asleep before 9 pm....

When you add the complexity of kids who are always trying to sleep in your bed or break your spirit by insisting on wearing the only pair of shoes you can’t find, it is easy to lose sight of your sexual identity. Many couples are resigned to the idea that sex just isn’t that important anymore.

...Yet other couples make a different choice. They decide that not only are their sexual selves of major importance, but they also want to explore beyond the marriage to ignite that fire that can only be lit by someone new.

There has been a shift in the cultural zeitgeist, and the conversation around marriage and monogamy has expanded. After reading many articles on this subject, I wanted to know firsthand what it was like for those who take the leap to step outside the norm.... married couples with children who choose a lifestyle that includes having relationships outside of marriage, although their spouse is still their primary partner. Most of them keep their polyamory to themselves for fear of being judged — especially as moms and dads.

I interviewed some polyamorous parents for my podcast to better understand this unusual life choice. At first I was concerned that I would be asked to join an orgy, but I quickly realized I didn’t look that cute — and also how many preconceived notions I have. After two minutes of talking to this couple I wasn’t thinking “wow, what sexual deviants.” The only thing abnormal about them was how profound and deep their friendship was. This couples was totally free of the most poisoning influence in a marriage — resentment.

When you explore an open marriage, you have to have a more open dialogue about everything. The result is less unresolved bitterness left under the dinner table to rot. This culture of honesty is contagious, and lends itself to a familial standard of truth before feelings....

Read on (May 14, 2015). Toni Nagy "writes for Huffington Post, Salon, Thought Catalog, Hairpin, Do You Yoga, and Elephant Journal. She has her own blog and hosts a podcast."

Update: The article is reprinted on RoleReboot (May 21, 2015).

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