In Ireland, "Meet the couples in love with polyamory"

Irish Independent

Polyamory Ireland just got a stellar full-page-plus article, including a link to its Meetup site, in Ireland's best-selling daily newspaper. Thanks to Randy Ralston (Polyamory Ireland's founder eight years ago) for the tip. He says the group actually did not initiate this story; "the journalist simply contacted me with questions and I answered them. She did her own research (and, as you will see, got the definition of poly a bit off…it is not about sex…)"

The truth about life in an open relationship

For growing numbers of people, monogamy just doesn't work. So what happens when you throw out the rule book? Tanya Sweeney meets the couples [sic] in love with polyamory

By Tanya Sweeney

...And now a growing number of people are seeking emotional fulfilment with an alternative relationship model: polyamory. The results, it must be said, are often effective.

Much as its name suggests, polyamory is the practice of engaging in multiple sexual relationships with the consent of everyone involved. It's a different entity to 'swinging' (which is simply sex with different partners), or having a bit on the side (most polyamorous people see their partners as equal in terms of love).

Catalina Vieru, a 29-year-old European Voluntary Service worker from Dundalk, first heard the word 'polyamory' six years ago. As it happens, she was already in an open relationship with another man.

"I never felt like I could be monogamous," she explains. "With my ex-partner, we decided that the safest for us would be to have a sexually open relationship, meaning that it was okay for both of us to date or have sex with others, as long as we didn't get involved emotionally.

"During that time, I started wondering about what would happen if I'd allow myself to develop feelings also.... "At the moment, I am also involved with three more people and a couple, and I have a different type of connection, all very special, with each of them."

...Part of the power of polyamory, say its practitioners, is that honesty, respect and communication are paramount to keeping the wheels of the relationships greased. Polyamorous people aren't oversexed or promiscuous, and no one is cheating or coercing a partner into a relationship they don't want. There is no need for clandestine encounters or affairs, because everyone in a poly relationship is on the same page.

Monogamous relationships aren't without their complications, certainly, but the fact that three or more people are involved in a poly relationship means that the interpersonal combinations are plentiful....

...IT engineer Balazs Balogh, 31, originally from Hungary but living in Galway, became aware of the concept through a web-comic, and found his mind sufficiently 'blown'.

"Up until that point I believed I came up with the whole thing, then I discovered there's a worldwide community with more or less the same idea," he explains....

..."One thing that particularly stuck with me was when they were cooking together while having a chat, it was so heartwarming I could've watched them for hours. There's this saying that gets thrown around a lot by poly people that by loving more, love doesn't run out, but multiplies. I felt exactly that."

That's not to say that complications don't arise: "Some poly people say they just don't feel jealous and never did — God, I wish I was like that, because feeling envious or jealous is really not fun," Catalina reflects.

"I think most of my current partners feel the same way....

...Polyamory Ireland — a 300-strong faction of people — hold regular meetings in Dublin. Its members range in age from teenagers to grandparents, and are highly multicultural and well-travelled....

...Among the other commonly held misconceptions is that polyamory is bad for children in the relationships.

"All the evidence and research to date says that children who come from polyamorous families are, at worst, no more dysfunctional than those who come from traditional monogamous ones. And, at best, are much happier and more well-adjusted," reveals Randy....

...Visibility for the poly community will be at an all-time high as Polyamory Ireland are set to march in the Dublin Pride Festival for the first time this month.

"Our community has the right mix of people to provide a beautiful and supportive presence," says Randy. "The struggles Pride represents are all of our struggles. We will be there in solidarity, essentially, for freedom of relationship choice. But also for equality, diversity, tolerance, and justice for all.

"Personally, I think it is entirely natural for us to love multiple people," he adds....

For more details on Polyamory Ireland, see meetup.com/Polyamory-Ireland/

Read the whole article (online June 24, 2016; print issue June 23).

This is the kind of positive image-making, and free advertising for your group, that you can get when people are out. Just be careful about the agenda of the writer and the publication, and ask that your quotes be sent to you for checking before they are published.

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