"Loving More Than One"
Psychology Today online (April 3, 2007) has a short interview with Dossie Easton, coauthor of The Ethical Slut, who explains some of the ideas behind poly very nicely.
By Moses Ma
What is polyamory?
We live in a culture that works very hard to enforce a "one size fits all" definition of how intimate relationships should be conducted. But there are many ways to love, and many formats for creating wonderful and fulfilling relationships from having more than one sexual partner to group marriage. The title, The Ethical Slut... says it all. A slut is a person who celebrates an adventurous sexual lifestyle, but while honoring the feelings and boundaries of all persons involved, even those who may not be in the room at the time you're being adventurous.
Do you need rules to ensure fairness such as who sleeps with whom on which nights?
I don't believe that there are really any fixed rules except to respect and honor the feelings and boundaries of every individual involved in poly relationships. Having too many rules is like trying to squish round pegs into square holes, and I believe that people are infinitely creative. So why not let that creativity flow into how we configure relationships?
She goes on to talk about the benefits of raising kids in poly families, and understanding the nature of jealousy as a tool for personal growth. Read the whole article. (If it disappears from that site, try here.)