Polyamory in the News!
. . . by Alan M.

October 3, 2010

"A topic too risque for the congregation?"

Lancaster (PA) Intelligencer-Journal

A lady ordained as an Episcopal priest writes thoughtfully about religion for small newspapers in rural Pennsylvania and for national religion blogs. If we're favorably impressing people like this — and some of the people she interviews — we're doing well.

A topic too risque for the congregation?

By Elizabeth Eisenstadt-Evans

What does spirituality on the alternative lifestyle "cutting edge" look like? I've long been curious about this.

Having written about the Lancaster County religion scene for a number of years, it's hard to ignore some of the tensions that dwell just beneath the surface.

One of these is a paradox — in an area which is still predominantly known for its evangelical Christianity and strong Amish traditions, there is a thriving underground scene in which the lines between spirituality, philosophy and sexuality sometimes become a little blurry.

...A few years ago... I interviewed some area residents practicing polyamory — romantic relationships with more than one partner and (it's crucial to polyamory advocates that you know this) the full knowledge and consent of all involved.

Since that time, polyamory has gotten a fair amount of mainstream press coverage....

She knows that a number of polys are out and proud in my own denomination, the Unitarian Universalist Church, but when she asked spokespeople for the UU national headquarters, they seemed a bit defensive:

One of the organizations that support polyamorous relationships is Unitarian Universalists for Polyamory Awareness [UUPA.org.]

Aware of the group's sometimes rocky relationship with its parent body, I asked public relations director Daisy Kincaid [at UU headquarters in Boston] to clarify the UUPA's relationship with the Unitarian Universalists.

Terming the UUPA a "related organization," Kincaid responded in an e-mail.

"The UUA has never supported the legal recognition of polyamorous relationships, nor has this issue ever been considered by any official decision-making body of the Association," Kincaid wrote.

...Are there active polyamorous Unitarians in Lancaster? Patricia Hart of the Unitarian Universalist Church of Lancaster isn't sure, she said — and at the moment there are other pressing priorities, like gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender rights.

"As a parish minister, my involvement is particular to a parish community", said Hart, who leads the approximately 700-member church with her husband, Peter Newport. "I have to have a darn good reason to bring up matters not pertinent to the life of my congregation."

Hart says that she's not really sure personally about her stance on polyamory.

"I can make an academic case (for it), understand it and honor the courage of those who feel deeply that they have found a way to live a life of honesty and integrity that doesn't limit love to one person," she said. "I can admit that I don't really know, without endorsing or condemning their position."

A UUPA co-founder was more emphatic:

Kinsey researcher Kenneth Haslam, the Delaware contact for the UUPA, explained where he saw polyamory and spirituality intersecting.

"I think Jesus said something about love," said the retired anesthesiologist, who has done a lot of research on the topic of polyamory. "We're (Unitarian polyamorists) not Jesus people, but we are love people...."

Speaking of polyamorist partners, Haslam said, "You are connected to them, bonded with them, sharing your soul, sharing your vulnerability."

But, he added, dancing naked around a bonfire in a pagan ritual on a moonlit night also can be a spiritual experience.

...For another view on the place where multiple relationships and spirituality converge, I spoke with Beverly Dale.

An ordained Disciples of Christ minister, Dale spent several decades heading the University of Pennsylvania's Christian Association. Currently a freelance consultant on sexuality and social justice, she has both a pastoral and sociological interest in polyamory as a way of expressing integrity and mutuality in intimate relationships — an integrity and egalitarianism she sees as grounded in the person of Jesus.

"To live a life of faith is to live a life of risk," Dale said. "It is to believe in the goodness of God and the goodness within ourselves, to believe that the world needs more love."

The honesty and respect that polyamorous partners demonstrate, and their belief that the world has a need of more of that love, is consistent with a life of faith, she said.

...If church leaders and congregations were willing to talk about Jesus as egalitarian and rule breaker, said Dale, they might not be "quite so strict about the monogamy piece."

...Dale continues to be outspoken on the subject, presenting performances, studies and lectures in venues both sacred and secular — places where she knows that people will gather and ask questions.

..."When I've done some of these programs with church folks, I've been surprised that when I leave people will come up and say 'you know, I've felt that all along,' " Dale said. "I have affirmed what they have intuited themselves. You know that the church may be more ready than we know."

Read the whole article (Oct. 2, 2010).

Update: More on "Rev Bev" Dale, in the Philadelphia Inquirer (Jan. 24, 2011).




Blogger Desmond Ravenstone said...

"As a parish minister, my involvement is particular to a parish community", said Hart, who leads the approximately 700-member church with her husband, Peter Newport. "I have to have a darn good reason to bring up matters not pertinent to the life of my congregation."

Assume monogamy until proven otherwise? If there were no teens in her congregation, would she say she doesn't need to speak out about issues related to teens because it's "not pertinent to the life of [her] congregation"?

I would hope that other UU ministers are just a bit more proactive than this.

October 03, 2010 1:55 PM  
Blogger Alan M. said...

Moreover, Desmond, you can SEE whether there are teenagers in a crowd by looking. You can't see the polys. In a congregation of 700 UUs I bet anything she has some.

October 03, 2010 4:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My UU church has 80-90ish members, and I am not the only poly in the congregation (my partners don't attend). I'm sure she has at least a few, even though Lancaster is a bit more conservative than the area my church is in.

October 03, 2010 8:20 PM  

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