Polyamory in the News!
. . . by Alan M.

November 19, 2010

"Three is the new two, as couples explore the boundaries of non-monogamy"

The Australian

The Canada court case may have prompted this glowing profile of a polyfi triad on the website of one of Australia's largest newspapers:

Three is the new two, as couples explore the boundaries of non-monogamy

Polyamory is more widespread than you'd expect and often it has nothing to do with cults or religion

By Emma Jane

THE Hill-Thompsons* are like any other young family expecting their first baby.

They're buying maternity clobber on eBay, weeping during ultrasounds and giggling when the malapropistic midwife leading their prenatal classes advises them to gouge their birth companions carefully.

There is, however, one thing about the Hill-Thompsons that makes them a little unusual: there are three of them.

Mari (a 33-year-old student doing her second degree), Sara (a 32-year-old uni lecturer) and David (a 35-year-old IT geek) have been a sexually monogamous, three-way unit for six years.

They are not religious, they're not cult members and they're not even that into group sex.

They just happened to all fall in love with each other at roughly the same time.

For the most part, the Brisbane trio have kept the details of their polyamorous private life to themselves. But they are slowly coming out of the closet now Mari is eight months up the duff. Sara is also hoping to conceive in the not-too-distant future.

Telling people about their super-sized relationship is complicated by a lack of unloaded language options. Threesome sounds too sexy and there is no triplicate version of the word couple.

"Usually we just tell people there are three of us," Mari says. "But polyfidelitous might be the best technical term."

Polyamory, also known as ethical non-monogamy, is billed by many activists as the new gay; the next sexual revolution....

Books, blogs and academic research into the practice are all rising, as is the predictable outrage from traditionalists and even from some non-traditionalists who say the trend muddies the gay marriage debate.

While a common joke is that the complexities of poly relationships leave little time for activism, in Canada on Monday the Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association will begin fighting for group marriage rights in that nation's supreme court....

The story of how the Hill-Thompsons came to be the Hill-Thompsons is long, complicated and, at times, tragic....

Six years later, negotiating life together still involves tricky logistics and sleep rosters. In the early days, they slept in a queen and a single bed pushed together with a lumpy piece of foam filling the gap and a couple of stitched-together sheets on top. Now they take it turns to sleep in twos, only slumbering altogether (sideways in a king-sized bed) a few times a week (pregnant bellies permitting).

"Our schedule has changed over the years and I am sure it will continue to change," Mari says. "We also alter the sleeping rotation if anyone is likely to feel particularly lonely sleeping by themselves for whatever reason."

As for sex, the gang tend to avoid the three musketeers approach in this domain, too.

"It takes a lot of brainpower to think about three people's sexual pleasure and emotional states at once," Sara says. "Having to think that hard makes sex difficult."

Another intriguing aspect of the arrangement is Mari and Sara's status as committed feminists....

And as they count down the days until the birth of little Kate next month, they are convinced that any stigma their daughter faces in the community will be well and truly countered by the 50 per cent increase in the usual loving parenthood quotient she will have at home.

Read the whole article (Nov. 20, 2010).

The Australian is a Rupert Murdoch paper with a conservative orientation. But Murdoch papers never let that get in the way of a sexually titillating story. They've been treating poly well, though I would still advise caution.

Also: Here's a radio interview with some polyfolks that aired on the Australian Broadcasting Corporation's network: "Me, my boyfriend, his girlfriend and his mum" (Oct. 30, 2010).




Anonymous Sarah Taub said...

Interesting that they describe the triad as a "sexually monogamous, three-way unit." This is not the first time that I've seen someone using "monogamous" or "monogamy" to mean "fidelitous."

November 19, 2010 11:01 AM  
Anonymous James Collins said...

Sarah, they had to define polyamorous. Getting ALL their terminological ducks in a row was probably too much to hope for.

November 19, 2010 2:01 PM  
Anonymous A said...

Doesn't 'triad' mean three people (or three anythings) in a group?

November 19, 2010 3:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i also am in a poly home and before joining it, would never have dreamed that i could be in a poly situation, but i love my Master and His wife dearly!

November 19, 2010 9:53 PM  
Anonymous Joe said...

I'm the (temporarily) monogamous half of a poly marriage, my wife has two boyfriends. I love visiting sites like this and seeing that the world's eyes are slowly opening.

November 19, 2010 10:39 PM  
Blogger Natja's Natterings said...

Even more coverage due to this Canadian case, I am very glad to see it was fairly positive (though badly written I think). Still, I am hoping that the increased positive media will be read by some of the more traditional members of my family.

Good news thanks!

November 20, 2010 9:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Check out the Love More .com blog site for a summary of the Poly case against the law in question.

November 21, 2010 10:57 AM  
Anonymous Ivo said...

This line from the full story bears repeating:

"Given the ubiquity of cheating spouses, it seems grossly hypocritical to judge those who are open and ethical about having more than one lover."

November 22, 2010 1:06 PM  
Blogger Ashbet said...

I wrote the author of the article last week, mentioning that the "triplicate version of the word couple" was "triad" or "V" (depending on the relationship in question), and briefly mentioned my own relationships. She thanked me very courteously and wished me well -- I think we have a pretty good ally there :)

November 28, 2010 9:41 PM  

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