Polyamory in the News
. . . by Alan M.

August 24, 2012

The final Showtime Polyamory episode

Season 1 of Showtime's Polyamory: Married and Dating concluded last night with Episode 7. Warning: Spoilers ahead.

It's midnight. We see Tahl sneaking out of bed while Jen sleeps. He steps outdoors and over to Kamala and Michael's side of the house. When Kamala asks him whether Jen is away, he says yes. This is important: they all know that Jen and Tahl have an agreement that he will spend nights with her when she's home. So, I was wrong earlier in saying Kamala and Michael were being complicit in his sneaking. The rule isn't for no sex, it's for no spending the night away from Jen unless she's out of the house.

And they all make love. In a side comment, Kamala tells the camera how sweet it is to have the two guys in her together at once, like one "supercock."

Next morning: Jen wakes up — alone. Goes looking for Tahl. And finds him in the others' bed:

Right after the video clip above: "I have one fucking boundary — one boundary! — since I've been living here. And you can’t honor that?!"

Speaking of boundaries... notice how Kamala immediately offers Jen a hug, Jen says she actually doesn't feel like a hug right now, and Kamala comes over and does it anyway? Urk. A lot of us have had a lot of boundary training about things like hugs.

Two hours to the north in Los Angeles, the Lindsey-Vanessa-Anthony triad are outside in the sun discussing ideas for their wedding ceremony. Lindsey: "We're pioneers, We're almost making it up as we go along." Vanessa wants to enlist Kamala and her mad ceremony skills. The discussion ends with Lindsey and Vanessa making love (within an inch of an NC-17 rating) while Anthony caresses and cuddles from the side.

Back to Drama House: Jen and Tahl are fighting about Tahl sneaking and then lying to Kamala and Michael. Your basic walking-around couple's fight — he weasels about whether he really lied (yes he did), then gets into how she has so many rules and that whenever he tries to bring this up, she shuts him down. But, right now she just wants to be alone for a while. He leaves.

And in walks Kamala to talk Jen into coming along to Los Angeles for the triad's group-wedding planning, as was originally intended, because "I can't just go off and do this while my house is having chaos" (quotes are not necessarily exact). Kamala goes on to say she feels she'll have to skip it herself if Jen won't come. Pressure, maybe?

There follows an awful, tense, silent, two-hour car ride of the four of them, "the worst car ride ever" says Tahl in a side comment.

Michael, attempting humor: "So, how about them Padres?"

In the triad's sunny back yard, Kamala works with the three to create a handfasting ceremony with a triangle of their hands holding each others' wrists. They love it.

They were planning to hold the ceremony all alone, it now turns out. Kamala asks if the quad can be witnesses, since they're going through troubled times themselves (pushy maybe?). The trio glance around at each other and say yes.

On the big day, the triad show up all in red. They are spectacular. "A revolutionary color," explains Vanessa. "It means we're passionate and unafraid." Hands bound in a triangle with a white sash, they say their vows in unison, ending with, "I vow to commit myself to these people until the end of time."

And remember their three-way ring-tattoo plan? They've changed the design. At the tattoo parlor, we see the striking new result being applied: three black lines around the finger, with a red star "for revolution." It's beautiful. (Sorry I have no pix!)

Back among the quad: Jen and Tahl have had it all out — his lying, her restrictive rules. He has groveled and promised never to lie again, "cross my heart and hope to die." She has agreed that he can have one night a week away if it's scheduled in advance. She tells us she decided "it's not worth throwing away" their two years together as a quad just because of people's mistakes.

As the show draws to its end, in their final statements Kamala is joyous with relief: "Bring it on! We can get through anything together!" Jen is more circumspect: "It will take time to see if this is the right decision. I'll decide that then." (Not necessarily exact quotes.)

The filming of the show ended months ago. For now it looks like Jen has stayed; the quad just did a TV appearance on HLN's Dr. Drew Show together and just went to a filming for the Ricki Lake Show. Jen is sporting new blue hair. I hope the others are accommodating her wishes better and that Kamala has taken on board not to try to run things so much. Although I have to admit, the times when we've seen her being pushy, the directions of push have always turned out to be right ones as far as we've seen. But with what collateral damage?

Will the show be renewed for a second season? Producer-director Natalia Garcia says Showtime hasn't announced a decision.

Photo: Michael posted yesterday, "Gone with the Polys. This is the historic set for Gone with the Wind. Ricki Lake show shot next door."

Also: The quad has rented the Victory Theater in San Diego this Sunday evening, August 26, for a season finale viewing party of the final episodes, followed by a Q&A discussion with the cast and the director. I wish I were there.

The quad's Facebook fanpage.

Anthony and Vanessa of the triad are interviewed on KPFA public radio. (Starts at 1:30; 30 minutes long. Available until Sept. 9, 2012.) They are delighted with the series's director and with the effectiveness it has had for outreach and education despite the limitations of the reality-TV medium. Vanessa: "This is a show that is trying to start the conversation, not to be any kind of completion." We also hear more of their revolutionary/political side. They get a better chance here than on the show to reveal their smartness and depth.

Congratulations to all seven for their bravery, dedication, perseverance, and resolution to show their innermost hearts and natures to a critical world.


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

I want to enjoy this show... and I enjoy the triad but the pod... more and more seems like they want to get deep and philosophical about screwing their brains out. Do what you do, you don't have to use your extensive vocab to make it so fancy! This last episode was a turn off. There are lies and when people are caught it's totally flipped on someone's insecurity and when Jen actually gives in (ugh) he lying husband is impressed with her 'growth'... spare me please... you like to fuck and don't want to be bothered respecting people when you're asked to do something you don't like. Plain and simple.

August 24, 2012 10:57 PM  
Blogger Decoy Boy said...

yeah i'm agreeance with you, I REALLY wish they could of been better role models man it sucks so bad :/ I've had my issues too and I grew from them and I wish at their age(a good amount older than mine) they would of known better. Jen gave in but her husband should of been WAY MORE REMORSEFUL than he was. sigh...I still love this show and I hope they do another season

September 11, 2012 3:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why is it that people who feel compelled to tell the world about their sexuality are always so fucking ugly? This show is full of dogs. these individuals clearly have attachment issues and it is doubtful they could ever have any meaningful relationships.

August 31, 2013 1:24 PM  
Blogger Alan said...

Jeezum Christmas, that last comment clarifies something really interesting.

The show has been widely criticized for showing only Hollywood beautiful people -- slim, trim, young, with made-for TV faces, the men muscly, the women sleek and movie-gorgeous in bathing suits (or nude).

Clearly, what you are seeing as "fucking ugly" is something else. Some other prejudice has put shit-colored glasses over your eyes. I wonder what it could be.

September 01, 2013 11:32 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Agreeance is not a word. You may be in agreement, but no one is in agreeance!

January 23, 2016 5:26 AM  

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