"Proud St. Louis Perverts Explain The Romance Of A Kinky Valentines Day"
Val's Day often brings a spate of poly articles as media seek interesting new twists. In the first to cross my radar this year, the alternative newspaper of St. Louis today profiles local poly and alt-relationship stars David Wraith and Kendra Holliday:
Two Proud St. Louis Perverts Explain The Romance Of A Kinky Valentines Day
By Danny Wicentowski
David Wraith and Kendra Holliday
at a St. Louis erotic book event.
...[David] Wraith is a St. Louis native, erotica writer, activist and filmmaker who cofounded Sex Positive St. Louis with three fellow sex bloggers, including Kendra Holliday. For kinky folks like Wraith and Holliday, Valentines Day presents the challenge of turning a holiday built from generically "romantic" marketing ploys into something....freaky and hot.
"I avoid the hype of Valentines Day," says Holliday. "I like to do it in my own private way. If I were to do it with my partner I would probably stay at home and he would flog me. Or we would have a threesome."
...We asked Holliday and Wraith to assist guiding kinky or poly romantics who feel left out during the Valentines Day blitz.
(And don't worry, monogamous/vanilla couples: Even if this extremely-NSFW activity isn't your cup of sex tea, you should still pay attention. You might even learn something.)
1. Strive For A Non-Standard Valentines Day
...The key, says Wraith, is specificity.... "What is the most important is showing you listen and showing you pay attention and that you know what trips their individual trigger."
For example: "Some people love to be used as footstools" says Holliday. "Nothing shows 'I love you' like putting your feet up on your partner."
2. What To Do Before Doing Each Other
Never fear, polyamorous or otherwise non-traditionally sized relationship groups: You can still make traditional gestures to your loved ones, if you want to. Some businesses are even trying to cater to the needs of polyamorous households. The newly opened Fleur de Lou flower shop on Delmar is advertising to the poly community: "Unique arrangements for your unique arrangement."
3. Share Your Kinky Commitment....
"For a lot of vanilla or monogamous couples, they wait for Valentines Day or their anniversary to bring any sort of stagecraft to their relationship. Whereas kinky people, we do that all time," Wraith says.... For non-kinky couples, Valentines Day could be an opportunity building that experience-designing muscle....
The whole article (Feb. 3, 2013).
Meanwhile, the Russell who called NPR's Planet Money last week turns out to be one of the very read-worthy Polytripod household's bloggers, and here he offers his take on poly Val's Days.
Labels: Valentine's Day