Polyamory in the News!
. . . by Alan M.

March 24, 2014

"Relationship Anarchy Basics," and others

On the radical edge of polyamory is Relationship Anarchy, or RA. It's similar to the free-agent model of poly but in addition, recognizes no privilege for romantic or sexual relationships over friendships, family relationships, or others.

The Good Men Project just published this long, interview-format article about RA:

Relationship Anarchy Basics

By Marie S. Crosswell

What is relationship anarchy?

...A relationship anarchist believes that love is abundant and infinite, that all forms of love are equal, that relationships can and should develop organically with no adherence to rules or expectations from outside sources, [and] that two people in any kind of emotionally salient relationship should have the freedom to do whatever they naturally desire both inside their relationship and outside of it with other people.

When, where, how, and by who did relationship anarchy get started?

It’s unclear.... It’s definitely a philosophy that’s recently evolved out of the polyamorous community.... In the last couple years, more poly individuals have begun to explore the idea of relationship anarchy, but at this point, it’s a very new idea.

How does relationship anarchy differ from polyamory?

...Relationship anarchy goes further than polyamory in its departure from the monogamous norm. Relationship anarchy does share with polyamory an overall rejection of sexual and romantic monogamy, its common rejection of legal/institutional marriage, etc, but it also seeks to completely break down what I like to call the Romantic Sex-Based Relationship Hierarchy by erasing relationship categories determined by the presence or absence of sex and/or romance....
A polyamorous person can be and often is just as much a sex supremacist or a romance supremacist as a monogamous person.... A relationship anarchist does not place an emotional ceiling on nonromantic/nonsexual friendship or on a sexual friendship that’s devoid of “romance.”

...Okay, this sounds really complicated and confusing. Could you give me some concrete examples of relationship anarchy in action?

Read the whole article (March 22, 2014). It originally appeared on The Thinking Asexual blog (May 7, 2013).

Two other articles of hers at The Thinking Asexual, new in the last few days:

The Word “Partner” and Relationship Anarchy (March 24, 2014).
Relationship Anarchy vs. Nonhierarchical Polyamory (March 20, 2014).

She has written for the Good Men Project before, including The Big, Fat Polyamorous Asexual Post (March 10, 2014).


● An article at Louisa Leontiades's MultipleMatch.com: Relationship Anarchy Is Not Polyamory (Dec. 23, 2013).

● Article by Wes Fenza at Polyskeptic.com: Relationship Anarchy and The Spectrum of Relationship Control (Oct. 12, 2013).

● A thread on RA at the Polyamory.com forum: Anarchy! (Um... Relationship Anarchy, that is.) (Nov. 2013).

● A previous article of mine, with more links: From Monogamish to Relationship Anarchy: a Widening Poly Spectrum (May 18, 2012).


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Blogger slyypper said...

Just a note that the Good Men Project article is dated 2014 and not 2013.

March 24, 2014 2:50 PM  
Blogger Alan said...

Fixed. --Alan

March 24, 2014 2:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Andie Nordgren is said to have coined the term


March 24, 2014 3:08 PM  
Blogger Kelly Cookson said...

Are we going to start recognizing experts or informal authorities on relationship anarchy? Are we going to start reading rules (tips, points, basics or whatever you want to call them) about how to do relationship anarchy the right way? I'm reminded of a South Park episode in which one of the Goth kids says, "If you want to be one of the nonconformists, all you have to do is dress just like us and listen to the same music we do."

If relationship anarchy is truly anarchy, then we don't have to listen to rulers or rules. No one gets to be the expert who defines how it's done.


May 02, 2014 1:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

RA did not evolve out of the polyamorous community, it is being hijacked by it.

"If relationship anarchy is truly anarchy, then we don't have to listen to rulers or rules. No one gets to be the expert who defines how it's done."

Sure, you don't have to listen to anyone, but don't be surprised when nobody wants people around who incessantly bastardize words, which is pointless, confusing, and disrespectful to those that came up with them. Anarchy doesn't mean being a dick or perpetuating chaos. Feel free to come up with your own word.

December 15, 2021 10:08 PM  

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