Polyamory in the News!
. . . by Alan M.

January 20, 2016

Steve Harvey Show: "Polyamory, New Way to Love or Just Plain Crazy?"

Want to see a poly family represent well on TV? Watch Brooke, Jane and Adam breeze happily along for 12 minutes on today's Steve Harvey show.

Steve Harvey is a popular daytime talk show that's broadcast on many NBC stations. Harvey acts impressed by the three, and Dr. Laura Berman follows up by describing how millennials have a wider choice of relationship models available to them than previous generations did, so they have a better chance of finding what's right for them — if they're up for the levels of honesty and communication that polyamory demands.

The triad show off pix of their kids and tell what a great household they have for raising them.

Part 1 (7 minutes)

Part 2 (5 minutes)

The segment's blurb:

Growing Trend Of Polyamory

Steve has tackled the topic that has a lot of people raising their eyebrows. It’s a growing relationship trend across America — Polyamory, meaning more than two people in a romantic relationship with each other. The idea is as curious as it is controversial, but Steve has talked to three people in a relationship with each other and no question is off limits! Sex and relationship therapist DR. LAURA BERMAN joined the conversation with insight as to why polyamory is trending among millennials.

You may remember Brooke (with a different hairdo), Jane and Adam from a spate of profile articles last April in U.K. tabloids and the New York Daily News.

Okay, so they're young, white, slim and hot. I guess we have to take what we can get.


Update the next morning: Uh-oh, there's more to this story! Greenfizzpops went poking further and comments,

If you go to the article about this interview on Adam's website, the video promising to teach you more seems very much like teaching pick up artist (PUA) techniques to unicorns hunters. www.donotlink.com/hydy.

I caution against supporting pua techniques.

Turns out Adam runs a dating-techniques-for-men business (along with Brooke and Jane). With an emphasis on manipulative, creepy-sounding techniques for unicorn hunting. This is from the front page of his website linked to above:

Adam Lyons is a well known dating coach. Not only has he been voted #1 in the world for his craft for multiple years, he has written articles for AskMen.com and featured in a number of documentaries such as “The Rules of Seduction” on Channel 4. He is widely regarded as a top expert in attraction and seduction.

He now runs a popular dating company with his two partners, Brooke and Jane, implementing their successful coaching program where they guide people in how to develop, create and maintain their ideal relationship whether they are single looking for love or currently in a relationship looking to improve the quality (monogamous or polyamorous)

...One of the biggest questions this throuple gets asked... is how polyamorous and monogamous couples can add another girl to their life. Even the most well intentioned and charming couple can make a few mistakes that trigger something known as the “creep alarm.” This prevents any type of wooing from happening and cuts the interaction short before it can actually develop.

That’s why Adam created this special video for you that answers this question and teaches you to…
   Get past a girl’s creep alarm…
   Trigger the chemical that makes her fall in love…
   and get her inner voice working for you instead of against you…

Read the comments to that post. The JJ Roberts in the mudfest there is the author of Sex 3.0, used in a rival relationship-advice business. These men seem to know each other too well. Roberts goes on a rant about how unattractive Brooke is with her half-buzzcut (WTF?), and how can a guy who poses as an expert in attraction allow his woman to look like that (WTF?).

That batch of tabloid articles about the triad last April gives more of their backstory. I should have done more homework.

If you've never heard of PUA training, here's the xkcd's comic's famous take. If you're not up to speed on how PUAs are regarded generally, a typical tale: I Dated An Ex-Pickup Artist.

More update: In a hot reddit thread after the show, Adam (AFCAdam) explains his position:

The PUA industry split in half.
Half moving towards aggressive tactics and manipulation (look at gunwitch method... Warning it's unpleasant)
The other moved towards self improvement and becoming attractive (look up the art of charm)
We've evolved and changed.
PUA fragmented.
I identify as a dating coach.
We get customers based on people wanting to get laid sure.
But then again...
So does tinder, Match.com etc.
The difference is we teach them that focusing on getting laid doesn't work.
You need to focus on empathy.
Being a real person.
Having goals. Encouraging your partner to have theirs.
I educate people in this.
Teach them these techniques.
I'm still evolving too.
Still learning more.
And continuing to teach and help others.
I've lost count of the amount of men if changed develop into actual caring people, who lead healthy communicative relationships.
As I said. The media gets this, my students and clients get this.
My girlfriends get this.
The only people who currently don't.
Are the polyamory communityX
That continues to judge and insult our family.


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Blogger greenfizzpops said...

If you go to the article about this interview on Adam's website, the video promising to teach you more seems very much like teaching pick up artist (PUA) techniques to unicorns hunters. http://www.donotlink.com/hydy

I caution against supporting pua techniques.

January 21, 2016 3:09 AM  
Blogger Phoenix OnTask said...

So glad that you put Adam's response on the web site. Without some dating coaching, polyamory wouldn't even be possible for me, so it hurts to see dating coaches be so widely denigrated in the polyamory community. Here's a great link explaining what PUA should and shouldn't be, in the words of the person who really brought it out into the open: http://ardenleigh.typepad.com/blog/2013/12/the-game-bill-of-rights-by-neil-strauss.html

January 22, 2016 2:47 PM  
Blogger greenfizzpops said...

A critique of Arden Leigh's attempt to subvert the pua community :

January 22, 2016 3:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I knew that I remembered reading something like this about them the last time he was in the news. Yes, creepy.

January 22, 2016 4:14 PM  

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