Polyamory in the News!
. . . by Alan M.

May 24, 2017

If we don't represent poly to the media, look who will.

Adam Lyons, the self-declared "luckiest man in the world" but not exactly our best face for poly, is doing another publicity blast. It's going all around the world wherever British tabloid content is marketed, courtesy of the News Dog Media agency. Here's the version in the UK's Daily Mail, for instance, which includes heaps of promo pictures and a video:

British man who lives with TWO girlfriends becomes a dad by BOTH women: 'The luckiest man alive' insists raising a child in a 'throuple' is the future of parenting

– Adam Lyons, from London is in a relationship with Jane and Brooke
– The 36-year-old now lives in Austin, Texas with his two girlfriends
– Threesome share a king size bed and are co-parenting Brooke's and Adam's son
– Now Jane is expecting and all three will raise baby boy together
– Adam says their unique arrangement actually makes life easier

...For Adam Lyons and his two girlfriends, it's three parents who are getting increasingly excited about their forthcoming bundle of joy.

Two years ago, Adam Lyons, 36, who is from East London, but now lives in Austin, Texas, was dubbed 'the luckiest man alive' because of his unusual living arrangements with his two girlfriends Brooke Shedd and Jane Shalakhova.

At the time, Adam and Brooke had son, Dante, two, together but now the 'throuple' are expecting again after Jane fell pregnant.

Brooke, Jane, and Adam (l. to r.), with Dante

The threesome — who share a super-kingsize bed — believe the new baby, due in July, will make their family even more complete.

Adam, 36, says: 'It's so sweet that we all get to parent and raise the kids together.

'We have talked about it at length and we all consider ourselves parents to the children.'

...Adam, who runs his own business consulting company Psychology Hacker, says: 'For us, three people works because it enables us to manage daily life so much better.' ...

The whole article (May 18, 2017). You can also see them on TV via the UK's Daily Mirror (video autoplays).

That Psychology Hacker company? It's the current iteration of Adams's dating-coach business. On its opening page is a pic of him smiling into the camera with the ladies on either side of him:


My family and I have been in the press recently, and a lot of people have started calling me “the luckiest man in the world”. But the has nothing to do with luck. I’m not in my relationship by accident, I don’t drive a Maserati by accident, I don’t have my 40 acre ranch by accident, I don’t have 2 homes by accident; none of this was by lucky accident.

The fact is that I followed some simple psychological hacks to get to where I am today, and I’ve created a way for you to learn each of these hacks as well!

You may remember our past reporting about media spotlighting him, Brooke, and Jane. Here's a reprint from what I posted after they appeared on The Steve Harvey Show last year:


Update the next morning: Uh-oh, there's more to this story! Green Fizzpops went poking further and comments,

If you go to the article about this interview on Adam's website, the video promising to teach you more -- seems very much like teaching pick up artist (PUA) techniques to unicorns hunters. [That link is now dead, but here is Adam's listing on PUAmore.com.]

I caution against supporting pua techniques.

Turns out Adam runs a dating-techniques-for-men business (along with Brooke and Jane). With an emphasis on manipulative, creepy-sounding techniques for unicorn hunting. This is from the front page of his website [the original one with the dead link:]

Adam Lyons is a well known dating coach. Not only has he been voted #1 in the world for his craft for multiple years, he has written articles for AskMen.com and featured in a number of documentaries such as “The Rules of Seduction” on Channel 4. He is widely regarded as a top expert in attraction and seduction.

...One of the biggest questions this throuple gets asked... is how polyamorous and monogamous couples can add another girl to their life. Even the most well intentioned and charming couple can make a few mistakes that trigger something known as the “creep alarm.” This prevents any type of wooing from happening and cuts the interaction short before it can actually develop.

That’s why Adam created this special video for you that answers this question and teaches you to…
  – Get past a girl’s creep alarm… 
  – Trigger the chemical that makes her fall in love… 
  – and get her inner voice working for you instead of against you…

Read the comments to that post. The JJ Roberts in the mudfest there is the author of Sex 3.0, used by a rival relationship-advice business. These men seem to know each other too well. Roberts goes on a rant about how unattractive Brooke is with her half-buzzcut (WTF?), and how can a guy who poses as an expert in attraction allow his woman to look like that (WTF?).

The batch of tabloid articles about the triad last April [2015] gives more of their backstory. I should have done more homework then.

If you've never heard of PUA training, here's the xkcd's comic's famous take. If you're not up to speed on how PUAs are regarded generally, a typical tale: I Dated An Ex-Pickup Artist.

More update: In a hot reddit thread after the show, Adam (AFCAdam) defends his position:

The PUA industry split in half.
Half moving towards aggressive tactics and manipulation (look at gunwitch method... Warning it's unpleasant)
The other moved towards self improvement and becoming attractive (look up the art of charm)
We've evolved and changed.
PUA fragmented.
I identify as a dating coach.
We get customers based on people wanting to get laid sure.
But then again...
So does tinder, Match.com etc.
The difference is we teach them that focusing on getting laid doesn't work.
You need to focus on empathy.
Being a real person.
Having goals. Encouraging your partner to have theirs.
I educate people in this.
Teach them these techniques.
I'm still evolving too.
Still learning more.
And continuing to teach and help others.
I've lost count of the amount of men if changed develop into actual caring people, who lead healthy communicative relationships.
As I said. The media gets this, my students and clients get this.
My girlfriends get this.
The only people who currently don't.
Are the polyamory communityX
That continues to judge and insult our family.


Well, for all I know, his self-positioning on the side of PUA angels may be correct. But a sour reaction to his current publicity wave just popped up from a very pro-poly editor of YourTango: Polyamorous Man With 2 Families Says Life Is Easy For Them — And I'm Calling BS (May 23):

By Rebecca Jane Stokes

Dude, come on!

...Adam's back in the news these days talking about how "EASY" and "GREAT" it is to raise children with two women helping him out.

...They don't talk about the insane amount of talking and communicating that has to go on to make these relationships work.

They don't talk about how hard it can be.

My boyfriend's girlfriend is due to give birth at the end of the summer, and I'm here to tell you that it's been hard on me. You know what's harder? Me not feeling like I can tell him just how hard it is too often, because I know what shitty position that puts him in.

In many ways, his girlfriend's pregnancy has been the thing that has glued us together, as I have written about before. Adam talks about sharing the responsibility in a way that sounds cultish to me. ... Don't confuse my trust and love for my boyfriend for some sort of poly mind control that has me convinced my life is perfect. It's not. It's hard. It's tough. There are hurt feelings. It's a lot like any other relationship in that respect.

And, where are the voices of the two women in all this? Yes, they get nice quotes in the publicity articles, and they do well on TV. But one gets the feeling that this enterprise is a one-man show.

What is to be done?

Not much. If we want to be represented better to the world than this, we need to get out there and do it ourselves.


Update: In case that listing for Adam Lyons on PUAmore.com goes away, here it is:

Adam Lyons, aka AFC Adam, born September 12th 1980, is a pickup artist first appearing in 2007, and voted as “the guy that will never have a girlfriend” in high-school. Having limited access to women until his mid-twenties, he was obsessed with Dungeons and Dragons and Warhammer. Like many other pickup artists, he was introduced by Neil Strauss’s bestseller “The Game”. Before his established presence at the pickup community scene, he worked as a PR manager for many companies.

Today, AFC Adam Lyons is affiliated with the “PUA Training” company and bravely continues to build his own personal reputation. Even though he tried to keep a low profile, rumors are that in 2007 he picked up Shabnam, a Big Brother celebrity, the same night she left the house. In 2009 he got married to Amanda Torres (now Lyons), after 2 years of dating. As a former student of Mystery’s, he uses a lot of his concepts, but pushes them to extreme limits.

Some of his method still rely on the social proof concept and pre-selection, but are somehow altered and upgraded. AFC Adam Lyons' so-called formulas start with building comfort, the stage where you befriend your target and establish the social proof. Then you continue towards the break rapport, where you take away your target, and continue towards building more value and make space for the girl to qualify. Only then you directly perform escalation to sex, resulting in instant attraction.
Some of his convictions are that a great part of being happy in life is being comfortable in your own skin, and that happiness comes from within. He defines “pre-selection” as a situation when you surround yourself with people that want you, making other people (you want) to feel attracted to you. As a person, AFC Adam Lyons does not find satisfaction in a simple lifestyle. It is not enough for him to have few stable friends, a dull job and joy of drinking in the pubs and clubs over the weekends. He teaches his students to get out of the routine and make themselves more interesting.

He is a published author of many books and trainer and coach at many courses. Some of his most popular products are: “Principles of Attraction”, “Beyond The Game, “The 21 Convention 2012 (North America)”, “Real Man Conference 2008 DVD”, “Spectrum Series: AFC Adam and Speer on Social Proof”, “Real Man Conference 2008”, “Ultimate Natural Game”, “The 21 Convention Event Footage (2007-2009)”, “Instant Attraction Training Course”, “AFC Adam VIP Monthly Training”, “Lifestyle Seduction”, “Attraction Explained VIP Membership”, “Secrets of Transitioning to Sex”, “Street Seduce”, “The Guru Black Book”, “Breaking Rapport”, “Understand Attraction”, “Valentine’s Day For Singles”, “Adam Lyons Qualification” and a lot more.

During his intense work experience, Adam won many prestigious awards among which “Thundercat’s Seduction Lair Top 10 Pick Up Artist List 2009”, “TheLSS.com 2007 to date”, “World PUA Summit 2007: Number 1 Ranking UK” and many more. He received approval and sincere respect from his colleagues dating coaches like David Wygant, Mr M (Jim Stark), Braddock and Vince Kelvin. He made notable appearances on D8.tv, Fox4, featured in the Channel 4 documentary “Rules of Seduction”, in Maxim Magazine, on NBC and CBS, Fox News, Kerrang, The Independent made a cover story on his background and many more appearances on television programs.

Source: http://puamore.com/dating-coaches/afc-adam-lyons/#ixzz4i1g3lLSR



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