Polyamory in the News!
. . . by Alan M.

May 6, 2017

Women's mag editor: "My BF Getting Another Woman Pregnant Was The Best Thing To Happen To Us"

The women's relationship site YourTango ("the leading online magazine dedicated to love and relationships," claiming 11 million monthly visitors) has been running lots of positive pieces on polyamory, including six of them in the last six days. Here are its 144 articles that come up with a "polyamory" search. Okay, yeah, they're often clickbaity.

Maybe this is happening because one of the editors, Rebecca Jane Stokes, became poly herself in the last year. She just wrote about a development in her life that would have exploded a lot of other relationships:

My BF Getting Another Woman Pregnant Was The Best Thing To Happen To Us

By Rebecca Jane Stokes

"We're trying to get pregnant."

I had been dating my boyfriend Rob for about a week when he made this pronouncement.

"Okay," I said as we walked down a street in his neighborhood.

...Rob has never been anything other than totally upfront about his life. He is divorced, he is a dad to an autistic son, he survived a heart attack, and he is in a seven-year polyamorous relationship with his girlfriend.

The guy was supposed to be my rebound, not my polyamorous boyfriend. I met him just a week after having my heart broken by my last boyfriend. I swore to myself that I wasn't going to leap into another relationship. I just wanted to hook up, play the field, something that I (a serial monogamist) have never done before.

Now here we are a year later, still together, and he and his other girlfriend are expecting a baby in July.

I'm starting to actually believe that we are going to make this weird, polyamorous way of life work.

...To be happy in a polyamorous relationship, you have to be direct and open and honest. You also have to know how to listen.

When his girlfriend got pregnant, although we had been dating for months, that's when I really started to feel like I was a person in a serious polyamorous relationship. That's because her pregnancy forced me to stop holding back emotionally. If I wanted to stay in the relationship and be happy (two things I really wanted) I needed to share my fears. I needed to show my cards and trust that my vulnerability wouldn't be our undoing.

And it wasn't. It hasn't been. We hit, well, not rough patches, but lulls where we take each other for granted, but we don't stay that way long. We challenge each other. We talk about everything. I'm no longer quite so scared about the future. And if they weren't expecting a baby in July, I don't know that we ever would have made it this far.

The original (May 5, 2017).



Blogger Elise S. said...

LOL. Would love to hear how she feels a year after the baby is born.

You called this one right when you said "clickbait."

May 07, 2017 10:10 AM  

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