Cosmo: "How My Poly Relationship Helped Me Make a Difficult Medical Decision"
Amid its titillating clickbait ("New App Offers Secondhand Sex Dolls"), Cosmopolitan has put up a thoughtful first-person story that goes way beyond that sort of thing. Sometimes what we do doesn't fit into cheap packaging.
How My Poly Relationship Helped Me Make a Difficult Medical Decision
With monogamy you hear couples say, “It’s us against the world,” but I don’t believe life was made for just two people to take on.
Photo courtesy of the author
By Jordannah Elizabeth
Ever since I was a little girl, I thrived in groups. I grew up in a house with two older brothers and had a wide circle of friends. ... I learned how to share my emotions and express empathy for a number of people. ... I didn’t realize how well this would serve me until I faced a difficult decision as an adult.
I didn’t come out as poly until I was 29 years old. Despite my ability to balance relationships and have honest conversations with my partners, I held on to the idea of staying in traditional monogamous relationships until an ex of mine gave me a book to read and asked me to consider having a polyamorous relationship with him. The relationship didn’t work out, but the seed was planted. ... [What was the book, inquiring minds want to know?]
Eventually I got married to a man who was open to an open relationship too, and I was free to tell certain friends and family. At the moment, I have one partner — besides my husband — who I am very close to. He has a three year old son, who I help take care of. We pretty much behave like a “traditional” relationship, meaning my partner and I have decided not to see others outside of our current arrangement at this time. ... In a poly relationship, it doesn’t always mean having more than two or three partners, it can also involve communication and having a “protocol” set up if you want to go on a date or sleep with someone else. That protocol is honesty and the ability to listen to one another.
Another wonderful thing about being poly is that I have a stronger support system. ...
When I turned 30, my doctor felt a bit of firmness in my lower abdomen. ...
If I were in a monogamous relationship, I might have felt more trapped in this decision. ...
Read the whole article (Sept. 21, 2017).