Wendy-O Matik: "Taking Open Relationships Beyond Sex"

East Bay Express (California)

The East Bay Express, a venerable alternative weekly, today published a profile of former punk rocker and current poly author/lecturer Wendy-O Matik:

After a lifetime of open relationships, people accuse her of being a commitment-phobe. Yet Wendy-O Matik's supposed fear of commitment landed her in a thirteen-year nonmonogamous marriage, with a book about relationships now in its fifth printing, and an international speaking tour preaching the personal and political values of a more openly loving society.

. . .The hostess had invited Matik and this motley group of strangers into her home to talk about "radical love," Matik's phrase for caring, considerate open relationships — a dating philosophy she has been developing since high school. She defines the term as "a radically different, redefined relationship outside the status quo, where partners encourage nonrestrictive paths of love while remaining seriously committed to their primary partner(s), friends, and lovers."

Wait a minute — didn't we once call that polyamory?

"I hate that word," Matik says dismissively. "It's so '70s." She tells workshop participants that such "free love hippie shit" didn't work then because there were no guidelines or rules, and it was mostly women who got hurt. Those old-fashioned practices were "emotionally irresponsible." . . .

"I see radical love as a social movement," she says. "We have to unravel ourselves from these unhealthy relationships that aren't satisfying us and admit that we have deeper needs. When we do that, we change the world."

Read the whole article (May 18, 2006).

And yes, we do know that the word "polyamory" was invented — or at least popularized — not in the 1970s but in spring 1990, by Morning Glory Zell in her influential essay "A Bouquet of Lovers" in the pagan magazine Green Egg. (See also Joshua Bardwell's commentary on "Bouquet.") Footnote: Morning Glory, a blessed creator of our community and movement, is currently (May 2006) fighting cancer; further information.