The "FOXSexpert" weighs in

Fox News

On America's conservative-movement TV news show, "FOXSexpert" Yvonne K. Fulbright ruminates about polyamory in a surprisingly nonjudgmental way. She asks "Can you be in love with more than one person?" Her answer: Yes and no.

She's trying to be intelligent. Ignore that she drags in reality TV; she works for a trashy program, she has to reference the trash for form's sake.

...Somewhere along the line, reality TV took an interesting turn in dishing out polyamorous programming....

If you’re not familiar with it, polyamory (which means “many loves”) is the practice of having more than one open sexual, romantic relationship. Typically characterized as loving, poly-relationships don’t just involve sex, but emotions as well.

This practice of maintaining multiple significant, intimate relationships simultaneously encompasses love, intimacy, commitment, friendship, affection, flirting, desire, sex, romance, eroticism....

People who support the claim that humans have the potential to simultaneously love more than one person tend to highlight other matters. In “Open,” Jenny Block, herself in an open marriage, criticizes Americans for being limited in their thoughts around love. She has a particular issue with society’s view that the only relationship that counts is the heterosexual, monogamous marriage.

Block argues that humans are capable of loving as much as they allow themselves. This is particularly important given that no relationship is static....

While I certainly understand many of Block’s points, as somebody who doesn’t like to share when it comes to sexual partners, I wasn’t convinced that she had a case until it came to the matter of defining love. Whether trying to sort through the latest season of “The Bachelor” or attempting to comprehend another couple’s structure, the fact that there are different types of love needs to be considered in understanding polyamory....

...A great deal of biological research alone supports the structure society has in place for monogamous love. One could argue that, when you’re truly falling in love with somebody, there can be only one. [For example,] researchers like [Helen] Fisher have shown how dopamine in the brain increases greatly when we fall in love with somebody. This neurotransmitter is what makes for a person having extremely focused attention, incredible motivation, and goal-directed behaviors when it comes to winning over a crush. Lovers consumed with feelings of romance are known to focus exclusively on a beloved and no one else.

Everyone is going to have their own take on whether it’s possible or not — whether it’s right or not — to love more than one person at the same time. Perhaps of greatest concern, however, should be how the one juggling multiple partners is treating the suitors involved. In being sexually promiscuous, is this person using others for his or her own gratification?

Better known as “players,” these individuals are generally chalked up by psychologists as having relationships that are immature, incomplete, and sexually focused. Reality TV or not, that’s polyamory at its worst.

Read the whole column (July 21, 2008).