Poly explained to the checkout-counter set

Shine

Yahoo has an online women's magazine called Shine; think grocery-store checkout line. Five or ten years ago a sympathetic, fairly good explanation of polyamory in such an outlet would have been a surprise. Now we've come to expect it.

How Do Polyamory and Polygamy Work? The Dirt on Poly Relationships

The more the merrier: is polyamory the new black?

By Natalie Bencivenga, BettyConfidential.com

There has been a lot of buzz in the media lately about polygamy, especially since "Sister Wives," the reality show about a man with three wives (and engaged to a fourth) and loads of kids, recently aired on TLC.... The gender bias of the man being able to sleep with several women at once but the women remaining faithful to one man has also left a bitter taste in many people’s mouths. What so many people don’t realize, however, is that there is a sexy alternative to both monogamy and polygamy....

...“Polyamory is a practice of mutual non-exclusivity. It represents mutual options. But, it’s not necessary that those options are acted upon,” states artist and writer Ben Barnett, 41, who engages in polyamorous relationships.

Understanding polyamory is based upon three principles that Barnett believes are essential for a healthy and happy polyamorous relationship.

“...Discretion, honesty and safety...safety should probably be priority number one,” he believes.

...Whether you are in a monogamous relationship, or daring enough to try a polyamorous one, honesty is the key to any happy union. Without honesty, there is no trust, and without trust, you cannot sustain a healthy relationship, whether it’s you plus one or you plus five.

...It would take a very special person, someone with a very strong and defined sense of self, to engage in healthy polyamorous relationships.

However, if you happen to fit that profile, being polyamorous would be rather exciting and stimulating. You would meet different people that fulfilled different aspects of your personality. The pressure would be taken off to find “the one” and you could really explore sex on a whole other level.

"...To say that it’s only possible to have only one a deeply emotional, deeply romantic, deeply physical, deeply intellectual and deeply spiritual connection is simply not true, and it’s simply absurd.”

...Unlike the stifling culture of polygamy, where only one gender is free to choose multiple partners, polyamory puts choice in the hands of each individual, regardless of gender, and thereby, the responsibility for you own happiness is in your hands, as well.

Read the whole article (Dec. 2, 2010), and join the comments.

(It originally appeared on BettyConfidential.com; undated.)

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