A terrible, tragic case of polyamory in the news has gripped the attention of the Dallas/Fort Worth area.
On July 1st a 6-year-old girl was killed in the Fort Worth suburb of Saginaw. Alanna Gallagher's body, tied up in a plastic tarp, was found at the side of a street a mile from her home. Her parents are a poly triad: her biological father Miles McDaniel, her mother Laura Gallagher, and Laura's husband Karl Gallagher.
The three parents are not considered suspects, police say, but the police have no suspects and say they cannot rule anything out.
Flowers, ribbons and teddy bears decorate streetside memorials. The family's poly aspect only made it into the media a week after the murder although the family was, McDaniel says, out to the school and their church:
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That's just terrible... that poor girl. And her family too - my heart goes out to them. I'm glad to hear their community has rallied around them, but I don't imagine anything could really provide much comfort in those circumstances. I hope they get some answers soon so that at least they won't be left wondering.
That's an astute observation at the end of this post, Alan. As Dan Savage and others have noted, outness is a key tool for changing hearts, minds, and social norms to allow for more inclusive and fair treatment of nonstandard sexual, relational, and gender identities. Which is why it's so valuable and important for more poly/open people to be as out as they safely can be.
Yeah, being out (or at least more out) does mean you'll probably encounter more stigma, prejudice, and discomfort. And if you have a really solid reason to expect that you'd face dire risks by being more out as poly/open (like if you work for a church, or if you're in a contentious child custody situation), you probably shouldn't do it.
But whenever I nudge more poly/open people to be more out than they currently are -- or at least to consider their risk situation more clearly, not just reflexively assume their world would crumble around them -- I get a lot of pushback. I understand that. I understand that facing stigma and potential ostracism and loss sucks.
But then I see this coverage, and how a police department in TEXAS went out of its way to specifically note that they're not stigmatizing this poly family, that polyamory is not a factor in the investigation, that this is just another family -- and I think, Hell yeah. Texas cops.
THIS is why it matters to be as out as you safely can be. And if you really can't be out, you can still work or advocate to change issues (like state at-will employment laws or family/housing law) that affect the risks you face for outness, and thus help make the world a safer and more tolerant place.
So horrible. :( My heart goes out to her family.
I just heard more bad news on this and looked up confirmation - http://www.khou.com/news/texas-news/saginaw-girl-murdered-house-fires-985412.html
It sounds like the family is getting harassed and attacked. :(
There is new horror for this family.
http://www.nbcdfw.com/news/local/Murdered-Girls-Family-Car-Set-on-Fire-Overnight-216166681.html
http://m.nbcdfw.com/nbcdfw/db_276865/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=iIBiKB0R The family's car and the memorial for the child was set on fire.
The latest news is terrible. However, I was impressed that in this report, they reference mom and "her partners" without sensationalizing or labeling. In the video, they flash up a pic of the 3 parents when they say "her partners."
http://www.nbcdfw.com/news/local/Slain-Childs-Mother-Speaks-About-Arson-Daug
hters-Death-216223151.html
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