Polyamory in the News!
. . . by Alan M.

May 28, 2014

Progressive Christian John Shore has a good discussion going right now...

...on his widely read "Christianity with humanity" blog. More than two years ago Shore published an interview with a woman in a happy triad living in the Deep South. That interview continues to prompt sympathetic mail, and he posted one such letter yesterday:

Dear John,

As I read through your interview with a polyamorous woman, I found myself tearing up. Because the woman you spoke with explained the whole love dynamic that I have been experiencing in my life for so long.

I also appreciated her making the point that being poly is about love, not sex. That is so important to stress, because a lot of people believe that polyamory is primarily driven by sex. But for many of us, it is just an expression of love in the way we see fit.

I would rather love two people, and have them both on board with that, then love two people and keep it a secret from my original partner, so that I have to live a lie.

I have many polyamorous friends, and a lot of them are working professionals. An English teacher, a bus driver, foreman at a plastic factory. I am a musician, artist, and mother, and it is so important that I teach my beautiful son that love comes in many forms, and that he has the freedom to choose for himself which form works for him. As long as he and his partner/s are happy, then who am I to say anything? Honesty, after all, is always the best policy.

Thank you again for sharing your views and opinions on polyamory. It gives me hope for society, yet.

Shore then goes on to discuss his own thoughts and gut feelings:

I see nothing at all inherently immoral about polyamorous relationships. If three people living in such a relationship say it is working for them, why should anyone argue it? If no one is being hurt, how is it anyone else’s business?

I personally am a monogamist. Why is that? To put it, I suppose, troglodytishly, because I want my (straight) wife Catherine (Cat) to love me more than she loves any other man. I want all of Cat, not some or most of her. I want her 100% emotionally and physically intimate with me, and no on else.

I want her exclusively. I don’t want the power of our intimacy diluted by one-third.* I don’t want her love for me to be something she does by way of emotionally multi-tasking.

In for a penny, in for a pound — and in for life. Relationship-wise, I personally think that’s the way to go.

Also — and this is no small thing — I don’t think there’s time in life to really love — to really get to know — more than one person....

The whole post (May 27, 2014).

The reason I'm putting this up now is because a whole lot of good people are joining the comments, including poly folks explaining our side, and Shore is responding. Go join in.




Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's annoying how he consistent conflates intimacy with sex.

He posits that a relationship to which you add sec is inherently more intimate than one without sex.

Presumably he thinks his marriage in which he engages in regular, emotionally vulnerable sexual intercourse is more intimate that the relationship someone may have with a spouse who is medically no longer able to have sex.

No one has put it to him in those terms yet.

May 30, 2014 6:49 PM  

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