Dan Savage apologizes to polyfolks
Letter of the Day: Happy Anniversary
As a long time reader of yours, I've been gleefully awaiting this day for three years. You see, I am the unicorn part of a poly triad, and today marks the three year anniversary for myself, my husband, and my wife — we aren't legally married, of course, but our commitment ceremony was beautiful nonetheless....
So, Dan, it's with a certain degree of smugness that I ask: will you wish us a happy three year anniversary?
—Totally Reached It, Ability Doubter
You're doubtless referencing this asshole remark of mine [and here he quotes me! –Ed.]:
Savage, a long-partnered gay man who coined the word "monogamish" for his somewhat open relationship, used to snark at polys. He famously remarked that he'd been to poly multi-marriage ceremonies but never to a poly third-anniversary party. That prompted many long-term polyfamilies to speak up as counterexamples, jumping up and down to try to catch his attention.
You're not the first poly triad to let me know that they've made it to their leather anniversary, TRIAD, but I'm thrilled to hear from you nonetheless. Congrats and best wishes to you, your wife, and your husband.... But... technically speaking... my snark still stands, TRIAD: I have been to a few poly weddings but I've never been to a poly third-anniversary party. Still. I know they happen — yours is happening — but somehow I never seem to rate an invitation. Was it something I said?
Read the whole piece (Aug. 14, 2014).
A commenter comments, "I've never been to anyone's third anniversary party. Who the hell has third anniversary parties?"
Labels: Dan Savage