Managing the holidays with your family of origin
Anne Hunter and partners, of PolyVic in Australia, made this Christmas classic in 2007.
Happy Christmas Eve. And if maybe it's not quite so happy, here are some items for polyfolks who are doing the holidays with relatives who may not approve.
● An LGBTQ counselor offers guidance for anyone outside the norm, with several good additional links: How to Survive the Holidays with Homophobic Relatives (Dec. 14, 2014). Excerpt:
...For lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, asexual, or polyamorous persons, here are some survival tips:
1. Make sleeping arrangements beforehand.
2. If you are bringing a new partner, communicate ahead of time about how they will be introduced.
3. Estimate how much time you can sanely handle being in a place, plan to be there that amount, and stick to your plan. Let your family know when you plan to leave if it’s going to come as a surprise for them, but then don’t feel like you need to apologize for yourself when it’s time to duck out. Thank your family for the experience, and leave.
4. If things went better than expected, follow up with your relatives with a sincere message of thanks.
5. If your participation in the holidays follows a faith-based tradition, look for an open and affirming worship space near you! One great resource is gaychurch.org. [And I'll add, another is your local Unitarian Universalist church.]
● Polyamory Weekly podcast, Episode #411: How to handle your bio family during the holidays, with advice from FBI hostage negotiators [really!]
By Cunning Minx (Dec. 7, 2014)
The topic begins at 10:15. From the online summary:
How do you handle the family during the holidays when you’re poly? A few tips:
– Be quietly out if you can. Lead by example. Model great behavior and tolerance.
– If you need to be in, be in.
– Some fun crisis resolution tactics from FBI hostage negotiators!
– Don’t lie but omit certain truths
– Dan Savage has a great article on being out
– Start your own traditions and invite your family – the home-field advantage
● From the new Poly in the Cities podcast: Episode #4, Poly and the Holidays (Nov. 22, 2014).
● At PolyMeansMany.com, "a group blogging project on the subject of polyamory," bloggers tell their Christmastime tales this year and last year.
● In previous years I've done big roundups of all things poly for the holidays, jolly and otherwise and most of them timeless, so if you're in the mood, here you go. Includes more music.
● To close, MeghanAM posted on reddit/r/polyamory yesterday, "Now that my reddit friends should have gotten theirs, I want to show off this year's card! Drawn by a redditor again this year :) the lovely and talented /u/heyredridinghood":