Polyamory in the News!
. . . by Alan M.

February 7, 2018

One-hour BBC documentary: "Love Unlimited: Polyamory in Scotland"

Today [Wednesday February 7, 2018] a one-hour documentary titled "Love Unlimited: Polyamory in Scotland will air on BBC Two Scotland at 9 p.m. GMT.

The trailer looks good (click the link; I can't get it to embed here. All video clips.)

So does the blurb on the show's website:

A growing number of people are finding that traditional relationships don't work for them. So instead of just one, they have multiple romantic relationships. It's known as polyamory. Polyamory requires the full consent of everyone involved, but even then things can get complicated. Existing partners can easily feel left out, jealous or hurt. So open and honest communication is essential for polyamory to work — plus some careful timetabling.

From left: Oliver, Noni and Morgan

Love Unlimited features polyamorous relationships of many kinds. Noni is a young woman with two boyfriends, Kima and Toms are a bisexual couple in an open relationship, and Ross, Iain and Pav are a trio of gay men in a three-way polyamorous partnership. Jayne and Dom are very much in love but feel it's important to keep their relationship open to the possibility of additional partners. What they all have in common is that they have rejected monogamy in favour of a more open and fluid approach to relationships.

There is much negativity and confusion surrounding polyamory. It can be especially hard to understand for family and friends. There's also the emotional strain of dividing time and affection between partners and the stress and anxiety of opening up an existing relationship to new potential partners. Poly people insist that it's about multiple meaningful relationships and not an excuse to sleep with lots of different people — although that can happen too.

Despite the challenges, new research shows that overall satisfaction can actually be higher in polyamorous relationships. So how do you go about loving more than one person? And what can polyamory teach us all about happy healthy relationships?

The live program is viewable only in Scotland. It will be available online throughout the UK here (and worldwide if you can spoof an IP address), but only for 30 days.

 Yesterday the BBC published an article about three people in the show who are in an MFM vee: ''I'm polyamorous, why should I limit my love?' (February 6, 2018):

By Steven Brocklehurst, BBC Scotland News

Noni is polyamorous — she has two boyfriends and is committed to them both equally.

The 23-year-old, who lives in North Berwick, says she felt trapped and claustrophobic in monogamous relationships, no matter how much in love she was.

She tells the BBC Scotland documentary Love Unlimited: "There is nothing wrong with one partner.

"I just don't see why I should artificially limit the amount of love that I put out into the world."

Polyamory is having more than one romantic relationship at a time.

Noni says it could include non-monogamous practices such as swinging but for her there is an "ethical" dimension that means the relationships themselves are important.

Noni is in relationships with Morgan, a 27-year-old administrator, and Oliver, a 24-year-old drama graduate.

...Morgan had been with girlfriend Hannie for four years when he met Noni — and they are still together.

"Hannie introduced me to the idea of polyamory," says Morgan.

"When I mention that to some people they are quite surprised because they think open relationships, polyamory, that's clearly the man's idea because it's lots of sex, right?

"Lots of communication, a little more sex," he says.

...According to Morgan, Hannie, who is not currently seeing anyone else, is "happy for him" to have a relationship with Noni. He says: "She is very encouraging, she is very supportive. There is a lot of mutual joy in all of it."

...Oliver has been seeing Noni for about 18 months. [He] says Noni was clear from the start of their relationship that she was polyamorous. "That was who Noni was and it's fine," he says.

...[Noni] says there is no favouritism and the relationship she has with each is vastly different.

"I could not tell you what I liked more between chocolate and theatre," she says. "That's the way I see it. No matter how much I love one, that's not going to mean the other will fade away."

...Another "ethical" aspect of polyamory that is important to Noni is to protect each other from sexually transmitted diseases.

She says: "Using condoms and letting your partners know who you are or are not using condoms with is a necessity to practising polyamory in a way that is safe and ethical because obviously if I mess up and catch something then that risks my partner's health and that risks my meta's health and so on."

Although she is only 23, Noni insists that polyamory is a lifestyle choice she intends to continue and does not think it is incompatible with raising a family.

She says: "I know people who are polyamorous and have children.

"It is really outdated to think a child needs [exactly] one mother and one father.

..."I would not say we are blazing a trail, but we are definitely creating an environment that allows for a healthy community."

 Meanwhile, British tabloids have been exciting all over themselves about the show's gay male triad. The Daily Mail's version, with many pictures: 'I love my son's husband –and his boyfriend': Mother reveals how she came to terms with her polyamorous gay son's three-way relationship (Feb. 4). Excerpts:

A mother has told how she grew to love her polyamorous son's husband — and his boyfriend.

Debbie McKinnon was delighted when son Ross told her he was marrying long-term partner Iain Waddell, 33.

But Ross, 27, then told her a third man, Pav Gill, 24, would be joining the relationship.

"Debbie McKinnon was delighted when son Ross (centre) told her he was marrying Iain Waddell (back right). But she was angry when told Pav Gill (back left) would be joining the relationship."

Mrs McKinnon's delight quickly turned to anger but she has now learned to love both of the men in her son's life — and is now a proud mother-in-law.

Ross met fellow nurse Iain on a dating app and they had an open relationship. They married in 2014 just days after Pav had moved in to their apartment.

Mrs McKinnon, 45, of East Lothian, told the Daily Record: 'I was worried my baby was going to be lying in bed alone at night, crying because his partner was in the next room sleeping with some other bloke.

'But Ross explained that while Iain and him had a deep, deep love, it didn't mean they didn't want to have sex or relationships with other people.

'They still got married, and Pav was at their wedding. Now Pav is Ross's boyfriend — they fell in love as well — and the relationship the three of them have is very beautiful.'

...Ross says sex with other people is now just a form of exercise for him and said the trio are completely honest with each other.

And he admitted he feels sorry for people who only have one lover. ...

This story also appeared in Scotland's Daily Record, Metro UK, The Sun, the Mirror, the Coventry Telegraph, and elsewhere.


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