Poly Boston gets reviewed

The Bostonist

Poly Boston is a big, disorganized crowd of people and FOAFs (friends-of-a-friend) with only occasional signs of structure. It caught the attention of The Joiner, a weekly columnist for The Bostonist (an about-your-city blogsite with branches covering many cities).

Every two weeks, The Joiner joins a local organization or scene that you probably never knew existed, and writes about it. His review of Poly Boston was diligent and on target. (I'm a member of it myself.)

There is no sign or banner, but it is easy to find the Tuesday meeting of Poly Boston at Somerville's Diesel Cafe. Just look for the people who are hugging each other.

"Poly people are openly affectionate," admitted Jonathan Woodward, an outgoing polyamorous professional. "But not more so than a monogamous couple might be."

Diesel is a terrible place to hold a meeting. Last night, Poly Boston members crowded in clusters around three or four tables in the back of the coffeehouse, which is cavernous and loud. There is no demarcation between Poly Boston's meeting space and the rest of the cafe, which, if Yelp.com is to be believed, causes some anxiety among certain other patrons.

But, for a group that stresses the normality of its lifestyle choices, it's a fitting way to meet....

Polyamory is not the only interest that members of Poly Boston share. Many are active in science fiction fandom, for example. And, since they are overwhelmingly tech professionals (with a massage therapist here and a social worker there), members might spend more time talking about life behind a desk than life with multiple partners.

"It's really a good chance to socialize with likeminded people. We're all operating outside the mainstream in certain ways, and we can just sort of be comfortable with each other," said a ten-year Poly Boston member....

...Overwhelmingly, Poly Boston serves as a forum to discuss shared interests that aren't polyamory. Science fiction novels were scattered across the tables at Diesel last night. ("Are you actually reading that? That's the novel that almost made me not like Iain Banks," quipped one member.) Topics like "compersion," which Jonathan Woodward defined as "the feeling of happiness you get when you watch your loved one being happy with someone else," are simply the norm. Polyamory is the background for everything else...."

Read the whole article (Dec, 5, 2007).

By the way, if you're in the Boston area, just showing up at the Diesel is not a good way to break in. There is no host. If no one knows you, no one will pay attention to you, and if you try, you may get cold-shouldered as a possible weird horny cruiser. Instead, join the announcement and chat lists, introduce yourself and start a conversation on the latter, and see if you can find someone who will meet you and introduce you around.

Much more welcoming are the separate monthly dinners, held near the Alewife T Station, where newbies are invited and warmly accepted, and the occasional dim sums and brunches in Chinatown and elsewhere.