"Sex Advice from Polyamorists"

Nerve.com

Despite the title, this is relationship advice from polyamorists. Three poly women answer similar questions with brains, clarity, and aplomb.

They're all on target, but the quickest to cut to the center seems to me to be the 21-year-old — someone the poly community hasn't heard from before to my knowledge. Sara, If you're reading this and would like to get more media gigs, please check out the Polyamory Media Association. We can send media inquiries your way, help you train to do on-camera interviews like a pro, and help you become a star.

Q: What has polyamory taught you about dating?

Sara, 21: I'm allowing myself to feel good. I'm expanding my capacity for giving and receiving love. I leave the judgment out and surround myself with non-judgmental people, poly or not.

Q: My girlfriend and I technically have an open relationship. In the beginning it was fine but three years later I can tell that she is seething when I mention my other lady friends. She is my main partner and I don't want to lose her. How do I deal with her jealousy?

A: It could just be time to go over whatever rules and boundaries that you created from the beginning. Now that you've been in the game for three years, you might have to look at those rules and reevaluate them for the present. And check in with yourself. There's something that has you talking about something that makes her upset....

Q: I know my husband is having an affair, but I don't know how to finally call him on it. What should I do?

A: Call him on it. ...The marriage may be past saving, or this could be the conversation to bring it back together.

Q: My wife and I are going to have a three-way — what's the best way to screen potential bedmates?

A: First and foremost, [you two should] sit down together and really get clear on what you both want....

Q: I recently met my boyfriend's family, and I get along great with his sisters and mother. But it seems like this is somehow annoying him. How should I address this problem?

A: You should just talk to him. I can't read his mind from here and no matter how close the two of you are, you can't either! It could be a multitude of things: jealousy, anxiety, tight briefs... You really won't know anything unless you ask him, and when you do, don't ask him in a way where you have already made up your mind.

Read the whole article (April 30, 2010); click Next for the second two people.

[Permalink]