"Just the three (or four) of us"

Biloxi-Gulfport (Mississippi) Sun-Herald

New words spread more easily than new ideas. Polyamory is getting noticed far from its centers of activity, but not always with great insight.

Just the three (or four) of us

By Pamela E. Spencer and Damon Smith — McClatchy Newspapers

We can't escape Charlie Sheen lately, which got us wondering. Sheen's got two ladies living with him.

New "Dancing With the Stars" contestant Kendra Wilkerson was once one of three women living with Hugh Hefner.

So is polyamory - being in an intimate relationship where you know you're not the only girlfriend/boyfriend - becoming more accepted? Do these relationships work?

Pamela says: Yeah, polyamory works if you're young or if you're a celebrity living on the wild side. But not for very long.

I'll give you a woman's perspective. When I was in my early 20s, I wasn't thinking long-term when it came to dating. I was having fun. That's what you should do when you're young.

...The Midwest girl in me thinks that eventually, either one or two things happen in a polyamorous relationship: Someone gets tired of partying and leaves willing or he/she gets traded in for a newer model.

Damon says: ...I have no real clue about it, polyamory or open relationships, save for that they are becoming more common every day....

Sure, open relationships can work. I'm certain that they have their benefits - like never running into that issue of being bored with sexing the same person again and again. But really, it's hard enough trying to stay STD-free and maintaining trust in one person. Why in the world would you want to juggle two or more?

Two heads may be better than one, but in this case, three-plus heads - all of which will likely be influenced by feelings - can't possibly be better than two. That's my logic....

Don't forget, folks, cultural context is everything.

(Read the whole article; Mar. 24, 2011.)

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