Polyamory in the News!
. . . by Alan M.



July 6, 2014

No Season 3 of "Polyamory: Married & Dating"


For those who've been asking, Showtime is not doing a Season 3 of its series Polyamory: Married & Dating.

Director Natalia Garcia writes, "We are thrilled that Showtime supported this series for as long as they did. And thanks to the fans who tuned in every week and those of you who supported me throughout this journey."

From Kamala Devi, a central figure in both seasons: "Thank you fans and friends who supported us through this controversial and groundbreaking project, and special thanks to Creator/Director Natalia Garcia for showing the world that monogamy is not the only option. Having two solid seasons on a well-known cable network like Showtime is a HUGE win for humanity."

Here's the San Diego family's continuing Facebook page with news from Kamala and others.

If you're a Showtime subscriber, you can still watch any episodes on demand or on a computer or other device.

My coverage of Season 1 and Season 2.

And here's an interview with director Natalia Garcia last fall by Heather McGuire of Mindchaotica. Two bits:


What were your motivations and goals for making the show?

I wanted to do something that was sex positive and empowered women sexually – it’s ok for women to be sexually active if they’re ethical about it. Men tend to be the “studs” and women are viewed as whores if they sleep with multiple people. Anyone who does any research or reading knows that women are more sexual than men and I wanted to turn the tables around and show the women as “studs.” Also, the catalyst for me wanting to make this show was when Prop 8 was upheld in California in 2009, it was and is very upsetting to me that the government thinks they can define what our family looks like and tell my gay brothers and sisters that it’s wrong for them to love each other.... So Polyamory: Married & Dating was my answer to both those issues. I wanted to make a show that addressed women’s freedom of choice in relationships and love styles.

--------------------------

Do you feel the show accurately represents the Polyamorous community and lifestyle?

Well, yes and no. There are a million ways to do poly, just like there are a million ways to be gay, to raise kids, or to eat spaghetti. Really. These are the families who put their lives on display so on that level, yes, this is a good representation for people who had no idea about Polyamory. I think my series is an excellent introduction to people who had no exposure to alternative love styles. I didn’t make this show for the poly community, they know what poly is. I made this show for monogamous, mainstream, people who are in traditional relationships and didn’t know they had options aside from cheating or breaking up/divorce.


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17 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Alan:

Is there any word on the series being released on DVD someday?

July 06, 2014 2:29 PM  
Blogger Alan said...

No word on any DVD set, except that there is none yet.

Urge Showtime to issue one! I see you can request that they carry a product at:
http://store.sho.com/productfinder.php

July 06, 2014 7:02 PM  
Blogger Saul of Hearts said...

Some of Natalia's comments are rather offensive: "I also wanted to create a show that countered Sister Wives, the TLC show about polygamy. That show is gross to me, all these women being slaves to one man’s desires and rules. I feel bad for those women, they don’t really look happy to me."

I haven't seen Sister Wives, but you can bet that many monogamous people have been saying the same things about her show: "'Polyamory: Married and Dating' is gross to me...I feel bad for those women, they don't really look happy to me."

Is there a difference between the two shows? Sure, but you can raise concerns about a lifestyle without calling it gross or making assumptions about the people who choose it.

July 07, 2014 3:33 AM  
Anonymous Natalia said...

Yes, there is a big difference between Sister Wives (POLYGAMY) and Polyamory (POLYAMORY) - maybe watch the shows before you comment? Sister Wives is patriarchal - the women have no choice but to be with that one man. In one of the episodes, one of the wives mentioned getting another husband and she was shut down by her husband Cody when he said, "Don't be disgusting." He told his wife she was disgusting for wanting to have more than one husband. So yeah, if my comments offend you - oh well. I'm a feminist, I'm sex positive and polygamy is anti-feminist especially for women who want choice and are forced into Polygamy for whatever reason.

July 09, 2014 3:17 PM  
Anonymous Saul said...

I actually did go ahead and binge-watch the show after leaving this comment. I share your discomfort at some of Kody's statements. But to say that his wives did not choose this lifestyle willingly (when they repeatedly share their own rationales and benefits for choosing it) is absurd. Christine says she always wanted to be a "third wife" and was more interested in the family structure than Kody himself! Robyn previously divorced a man, of her own volition, and made the choice to enter this family.

We all have different preferences, and if for some the appeal of a large, supportive family network is more important than having additional partners of their own, it's not my place to judge. The family seems stable, and no less patriarchal than your typical conservation husband/wife marriage. The elderly sister wives in season 2 seem to have truly bonded, and will have each other to rely on if their husband passes.

Can Kody's sexist comments be critiqued? Of course. Is his claim of his "faith" as a justification for these practices unfounded? Sure. But as someone who would like a large polyamorous family -- admittedly one with equal gender roles more in line with Kamala's pod -- I found more overlap than I'd expected between these two lifestyles. If there's anything unfair about the Brown family's dynamics, it's that they had to flee their home state and upset their children's lives, solely on the basis of an outdated law that dictates how they can structure a family. A family that they know best.

July 09, 2014 3:55 PM  
Anonymous Saul said...

As for Kody's comments about Meri having an additional lover ... they sounded like typical heteronormative conversarion to me. Most straight married men would say the same thing to their wives. I'm all for countering that by showing mixed-gender and matriarchal poly families, but to say that this kind of sexism is unique to polygamy is unfair. Kody's family faces the same kind of judgement from his neighbors ("multiple women isn't love, it's lust") that polyamorous families do.

Additionally, Kody's wives take issue when he uses terms like "obey", and later on in the series, claim to have full control over when and whether to have more children (implying contraceptives, though this is unclear). The emotional upheavals and jealousies they go through don't seem substantially different from, say, the discussions among Tahl and Jennifer (many reviewers said she appeared uneasy with some arrangements and encouraged to "go along with it").

I'm all for presenting people with alternatives and letting them choose the relationships that work for them, and I think both shows do a good job of humanizing their respective lifestyles.

July 09, 2014 6:24 PM  
Blogger Dale Hanson said...

Ok.... as someone who as actually lived in a poly family, and know dozens of other people that do... I have to say there is a huge difference from freely choosing a lifestyle option among ALL the lifestyle options that exist and choosing one among two options i.e., to be polygamous or not. People who grow up in a closed society "don't practically have options." I have no doubt that the women on "Sister Wives" (which I have watched almost in its entirety), believe it when they say they are choosing to surrender their "equality" to a man they share with other "wives."

But it debatable to say this is really a choice when you have never been exposed to any other option and your community strongly discourage even exploring other options. Knowledge is freedom. Though I don't know the people on "Polyamory" personally, I strongly suspect that they are well aware of other loving lifestyles and chose polyamory as the best fit for them. I did. That said, there women who are enlightened fully educated women who chose to submit to a patriarchal relationship in some cases because of personal preference or, more often, for religious reason (i.e., women who convert to Islam). MOST people make choices I would not make for myself or the women in my life because I feel it limits their potential for full development as human beings... but that's just MY personal philosophy. Above all else I'm a libertarian (philosophically not necessarily politically). Which means that competent adults have the freedom to choose whatever lifestyle they want as long as it does not conflict with the choices of others to do likewise. But that assumes "informed choice." To that end, I think both shows are informative since they introduce lifestyles that most people know nothing about... thus giving them "an new option" they didn't know existed. The only people I feel sorry for are the people whose authentic selves would prefer a lifestyle that is denied them by ignorance our societal convention. That goes of people who are gay, monogamous, BDSMers, polygamous, or any alternative combination of living and loving. I must say though that I find it ironic that those who support alternative lifestyles often seem as intolerant of people who choose a different alt lifestyle as those in mainstream of our puritanical society. That's a shame. People brave enough to challenge the status quo should at least respect others who are doing the same.

September 29, 2014 3:33 PM  
Anonymous Joe said...

I have to admit that while I really enjoyed the show and seeing all the dynamics of Poly relationships, I am really disappointed that I was left with unanswered questions. Is there a site that will let us fans know that what happened with Triead of season 1 and with Chris, Leigh Ann, Nad Megan? I hate getting so involved in a show and then not having any closure. So please someone let me know, email me at ksskidude@yahoo.com and fill me in.

October 16, 2014 5:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I want to know what happened to Anthoney Lindsey and Vanessa? Season 2 typical muscle head 2 young hot girls forcing situation all for tv not fond of that trio

December 30, 2014 12:58 AM  
Blogger Bibi Mohan said...

I think it's interesting that both groups in Season 2 of polyamory didn't recognized that they are doing something unfair. Chris is not taking into account that he is okay only with having women and not having Leigh Ann have a boyfriend; he didn't explore that option and give the girls that freedom. Seems a bit unpoly to me to exclude his mates having lovers. Kamala likes to include everyone eventually sexually, but I find this hard to accept or do because not everyone is attracted to everyone or can just have sex with everyone in a group for the fun of it. Each person should be allowed to have their separate relationship but get to know each other in a nonsexual way to minimize jealousy. These viewpoints were not addressed. The young couple from Season 1 who engaged their girlfriend did it the best. The husband also gave his wife permission to have a boyfriend. His only rule was not to lie about it.

February 06, 2015 2:04 PM  
Blogger JennalunaVerse said...

I became very involved with Anthony, Vanessa, & Lindsay (after a Poly-thon) & was sad to see they weren't in Season 2; however, I was excited to see another Triad. That was until the dynamic became clear. Right away it was obvious Leigh Anne was jealous of Chris & Megan's bond but the fact she acted on a crush & the other two got so angry pissed me off. Yes, she lied so I understand where that is wrong. But, why is it okay for Chris to have what he wants but not Leigh Anne? Leigh Anne should be able to explore the sexual tendencies she has. Rules should have been set, I guess.

My husband & I are thinking about this lifestyle. If Megan wants to come hang with us, we'll take care of her. She's a sweetie. As for Kamala & the pod; oh man. Tahl must be so happy he married that bitter woman. Is that Jennifer Grey, by the way? God, & I give props to that chick Rachel for calling Michael out for how he can only go deeper with a woman by having threesomes & not doing a one on one thing. Emotionally going deeper is awesome, too. So is sex, but ya know. I just wish I know what happened to the Triads. I could care less about the pod. Although Jesse? He's adorable & needs to get away from the chick. She'll ruin him if she hasn't already. Run, Jesse, Run!
Otherwise, fascinating. I find other people' sexy lives fascinating. It's how they live when the camera isn't rolling, though, that would be really incredible.

Update please!

April 15, 2015 8:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Binge watched both seasons. LOVED the Triad from season 1 and would love to hear an update on them. Kamala, I love her!!! The triad in season 2.... What happened after? Season 2 just sort of ended with no resolution. Shame there won't be more.

July 04, 2016 1:48 AM  
Blogger JJ-CO said...

What happened to the Chris, Leigh Ann and Megan triad? Does anyone else think that Megan is manipulative and wants Chris to herself. Chris is a complete idiot! He's had his paradise now it's time to pay the price. Stop controlling people!

August 08, 2016 8:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Would love an update on both Chris, Leigh Ann, & Megan (who wanted to push Leigh Ann OUT of her position as Chris.'s wife IMHO) as well as Anthony, Lindsey & Vanessa! Any chance anyone knows how these Triads are doing?? Thanks!

August 26, 2016 9:39 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I agree with you on Megan being a manipulator. I think she was pretending to be heartbroken and angry towards Leigh Ann. To me it looked like she was secretly elated Leigh Ann went behind their backs, this was the opportunity Megan was waiting for to drive a wedge between Chris & Leigh Ann. She wants Chris all to herself it's clear to see. She began talking about having a baby with Chris & how she no longer wanted a relationship with Leigh Ann. Fake tears.
Chris isn't an idiot, he knew what he was doing. He just didn't want to ruin his perfect set up he had going on. I didn't like the way he and Megan would gang up on Leigh Ann that was unfair and out of line. I don't believe for a second he would've been open minded to the idea of Leigh Ann having a boyfriend. That's a bold faced lie.

August 28, 2016 3:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Agree with 'unknown.' Still think Chris is a selfish moron.

August 31, 2016 10:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Completely agree with Unknown. Just watched the Serious Affairs episode and that is exactly what I thought by the end. Chris seems not to be poly, but simply to enjoy having two women and he is very threatened and insecure about his wife having a boyfriend. He behaved like a monogamist bully (which would be fine if he were a monogamist).

September 06, 2016 12:17 AM  

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