Polyamory in the News!
. . . by Alan M.

June 6, 2008

15-year quad signs legal papers in California

The Daily Telegraph

"A Californian family has unveiled the latest version of family life — a marriage of four," reports this morning's Daily Telegraph, a conservative newspaper in London, England.

Four better or four worse for marriage of four


Tony, 48, Kaye, 48, Kevin, 40, and Sandi, 40, who live in San Jose, signed legal documents to give them similar status to actual spouses.

The foursome practice polyamory — the belief people can love several partners at once with everyone's blessing.

The unusual household was formed 15 years ago when Briton Tony and his legal wife Kaye invited their married friends Kevin and Sandi to stay at their home.

The couple decided to stay for good after falling in love with each other....

"We plan to grow old together and to stay this way forever," said Tony.

...The four signed legal documents so [their daughter] Ruth [age 11] will remain with her parents if one or more dies, and the remaining partners will keep the house.

The only problem the Lucks have is making sure they have enough time for each other.

"We're very busy people and we're rushing about all the time.

"We have an online diary so everyone knows where any of the household is supposed to be," said Tony.

Read the whole article.

Here's another, briefer story, in another British paper this morning, the Daily Mirror. (Tony is originally from England)

They are celebrating 15 years together in San Jose, California, and only the men don't sleep with each other.

Ruth said: "People ask which is your real mum and dad. I always say, if I pinch them and they say 'ouch' aren't they real?"

Anybody know the people involved? Would the folks in the quad be willing to post their legal paperwork, as a model for others?

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Anonymous t_in_pdx said...

Interesting that this got press in Britain, I hope it makes it into the media here. Seems like an OK story, it seems like any presentation of a stable family who is in it for the long haul is good for the communities image.

My only question is what sort of legal construction the family is using? It seems like the legal specifics are a whole other topic, but on that would certainly be of use to many poly people. It is not as if we can go to the book store's legal section and buy "15 easy poly contracts" next to "20 Standard Rental Contracts". Maybe someday someone will write a legal book on all of this.

Thanks for posting this article.

June 06, 2008 11:15 AM  
Blogger malleron said...

I, too, would be incredibly interested in the nature of the legal docs (poly single mom here). The linked article only mentions the guardianship provisions for Ruth. If that's the extent of the "legal papers" they signed, well...I wouldn't find that particularly ground-breaking.

Still, it's a good, positive article. Thanks for sharing it.

June 06, 2008 1:38 PM  
Blogger green gypsy said...

This would be my family, and we have guardianship, medical power of attorney, and a living trust. It's given us a few of the benefits of marriage - We have a good attorney who drew up our trust and other documents. The legal stuff is a whole separate topic and I felt it too complex for a short article like this.

June 06, 2008 3:57 PM  
Blogger Sandi said...

Hi folks,
I'm Sandi from the quad. We have variety of legal papers to protect our family rights.
And yes, we really have been together for about 15 years.

June 06, 2008 6:14 PM  
Anonymous Tony said...

Hi. Tony from the quad here.

It's interesting that the articles chose to focus on the paperwork angle, and made it sound like this was something that we'd just done. we actually signed all the papers about 8-9 years ago (drawn up by a lawyer we found in "The Lavender Pages" who specialized in gay & lesbian legal paperwork ... this was before domestic partnership laws in California).

Yes this is a trust, wills, various powers of attorney etc. Nothing ground-breaking here.

June 06, 2008 9:12 PM  
Anonymous t_in_pdx said...

Thanks for the replies, this is definitely attorney territory still, but it is great to see it being written about. I'm glad you were able to find a way to make it work out. Each piece might not be ground breaking, but if enough people start doing this we can create our own defacto legal construction.

I wonder if this sort of legal situation would work in all states given that most of the things at issue are state laws. I could imagine that certain states would treat this situation differently then others.

Thanks for being out there and publicly representing for poly families! It is a huge service to the community when people are willing to share their lives for the benefit of greater public understanding. This is the kind of press that is helping more people be out and more people understand what poly is about.

June 07, 2008 1:56 PM  

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