Polyamory in the News!
. . . by Alan M.

August 16, 2008

"Like the love triangle in 'Vicky Cristina,' real-life trios see all sides"

New York Daily News

Woody Allen's new movie "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" opened this weekend (here's a review; here's the trailer). The New York Daily News, circulation 700,000, uses it as the springboard for a feature article about real-life poly vees and triads:

By Patrick Huguenin

On Friday, Scarlett Johansson, Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem hit the big screen as a trio of volatile lovers in Woody Allen's "Vicky Cristina Barcelona."

In the movie, Bardem kisses Johansson. Johansson kisses Cruz. Then, they all fall for each other. But in real life, far from the jaunty shores of Allen's Barcelona, the mechanics of a "three-way-tionship" are more complex.

Click for photos of pop culture's most famous 3-ways.

Miriam Axel-Lute is a 33-year-old writer based in upstate New York. In 1997, she exchanged vows of commitment with her college girlfriend, Rebecca. In 2005, she exchanged vows again, with Robin, a man she now refers to as her husband. And so did Rebecca.

"You have to make your vows short," she wrote afterward, "when they're going to be said six times."

The two entered into what is known as a polyamorous triad relationship, or a "poly triad." Miriam, Rebecca and Robin each wear two rings on their left hands. In 2006, Miriam gave birth to a daughter....

When it comes to parenting a toddler, Miriam's poly triad offers conveniences that couples might envy.

"At the moment," she says, "Rebecca is staying home with her, Robin works outside the house and I work from home. He goes to work in the morning. I go downstairs to my office. I go upstairs at lunchtime and help put her down for her nap. We rotate bedtime routine and a little perk is we rotate dates. Our little girl ... gets one-on-one time with one of us while the other two are having a date, which is something that a lot of new parents don't get to say."

The article goes on to describe the executive director of Seattle's Foundation and Center for Sex-Positive Culture (formerly known as The Wet Spot):

Allena Gabosch, 55, is a Seattle-based sex activist and educator.

She describes her current core relationships as a "V".... One of her partners lives in Canada and the other about an hour-and-a-half north of Seattle, on the drive in between. Once they were involved in a poly triad. Now, the other two continue to see Allena, but without seeing each other.

At their best, says Allena, the trio enjoyed a warm bond and shared hobbies — most of them outside the bedroom.

"We didn't do much sex stuff together, but we did a lot of stuff together," she says. When Allena's girlfriend and boyfriend decided to split, she found herself in the center — or at the apex.

"I would get phone calls from either one of them," she says. "I had a five-minute rule. They could call me and vent for five minutes, then they couldn't mention the other person again."

In fact, she says, the split was made easier by a set of tenets by which all three lived. Full disclosure. No talking behind anyone's back. No surprises....

Read the whole article (Aug. 15, 2008), and add to the growing comments.

Regarding the Center for Sex-Positive Culture, one of its board members writes, "We have 2,500 active members and are doing over 120 events this month, mostly in our own facility. And Allena rocks!"

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Blogger faerie said...

I love Woody Allen's movies, and I really can't wait to see this one!

August 21, 2008 10:00 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

That article also led to a radio appearance with Curtis Sliwa (really!). I wrote a column about the experience...

August 22, 2008 12:29 PM  
Blogger Lucius Scribbens said...

Mrs. Scribbens and I will definitely see this one. We both love Woody, this just makes it all the better.

August 28, 2008 9:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just saw the movie and really liked it. Of all the relationships in the movie, the only one that really worked, at least for a while, was the triad.

September 14, 2008 2:50 AM  

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