Polyamory in the News!
. . . by Alan M.

May 23, 2018

And more happy polyfamily goodness in the tabs

Here come more stories in what has turned into a whole new genre for the notorious British tabloids and their syndication partners overseas. I'm now letting a bunch of these stories accrue, then noting them in batches. Here are five more — with the now-standard happy storylines in long headlines, choppy paragraphs, and heaps of smiling family pix.

And, of course, the setups are always white.

Most recently,

● In the Daily Mail — sensationalist, conservative politically, known as "that dreadful rag," and read mostly by older housewives — comes this: Polyamorous trio preparing to welcome their first child say they plan to parent as a 'complete' threesome – but insist they won't 'judge' their baby girl if she decides to be monogamous (May 21, 2018).

For the triad, polyamory means being able to love more without restriction. Ashta (right), Ash (left), and Rowen (center) agree this means that there is a community within their home.

Ashta Monogue, 33, and her husband Ash, 36, from Georgia [US], met seven years ago at a street fair; they have been married since 2013.

They met Rowen, 28, online in May 2016. Ash and Ashta weren't planning on forming a triad relationship, but after the three met, they all fell in love.

Ashta is now pregnant, meaning the three are now joyously expecting their first child in October this year.

They intend to raise their baby in a happy and healthy environment and have lots of adventures as a family of four.

...Ashta has been polyamorous for a decade, and throughout their marriage, she and Ash have explored the concept. They met Rowen, 28, online in May 2016. Ash and Ashta weren't planning on forming a triad relationship, but after the three met, they all clicked and fell in love.

The three are now joyously expecting their first child in October this year, as Ashta is pregnant.

'We're pretty complete as a family of three, and I think we would be happy even if we never had kids. But Ash and I have always wanted children, so when Rowen came into our lives, we decided to make a go at parenting as a triad,' Ashta said.

'The pregnancy was very planned. We had begun treatments at a fertility clinic when we found out that I was pregnant naturally. All three of us were very excited and we still are.

'Rowen had decided that they (Rowen is gender-queer and prefers neutral pronouns) would have a baby for us if I couldn't, but they are happy that I got pregnant.

'It's possible that they will have a child someday, but that will be a conversation for later. We're all very focused on this baby.'

Parents: 'I think we will all encourage our daughter to be who she wants to be and do what she wants to do.'

They say that any feelings of jealousy that may arise don't affect them because they function as a group, and they discuss and resolve any emotions that may arise.

'We're all geeks and have lots of common interests. We love animals, board games, hiking, and trying new food. ...

'We're not restricted in our relationships, so we're not restricted to whom we can spend time with, or who we can date or love. Being in a triad means having a community built into our home. There's always someone around to help you, or to talk to.

'I don't know how to answer how our relationship works. It just does. We're mature and we talk about our issues and discuss our feelings. We're each delegated chores and responsibilities so that the house runs smoothly.

'We're pretty well past the point of jealousy. We function as a group so if someone has feelings of jealousy, we talk about it and address any issues that come up. We occasionally have disagreements, but usually about how to decorate the house or what color pillows to buy.'

Once the baby arrives, Ashta will be a stay-at-home mother to look after their child, while Ash and Rowen will continue working as a customer support engineer and transcriptionist (a typist who transcribes audio recordings, usually medical reports) respectively.

...Ashta says that the three won't force polyamory on their child and will encourage her to be whoever she decides.

'I think we will all encourage our daughter to be who she wants to be and do what she wants to do,' she said.

'If she decides to be monogamous, no one will be mad or judge her for it, but we're not going to make her think that polyamory is better in some way. It's not for everyone and that's OK.

'Poly people aren't abnormal. We're just like monogamous people in many ways. We have jobs and hobbies and go out to dinner. We just live life with a few more people around.

'Lots of our friends are poly as well, so we're lucky to be surrounded by a good support network.

'We rarely get bad reactions from people. Most people just acknowledge that our lifestyle isn't for them, but they see that it works for us.'

Versions id this packaged story (from the Media Drum World agency) also appeared in Metro UK, the Mirror, the Daily Star, and probably elsewhere.

● Three weeks earlier, the Daily Mail's UK and Australian editions edition picked up on a couple who appeared on SBS Insight on Australian TV: Swinger couple reveal what it's REALLY like to welcome other partners into their bedroom and juggle multiple lovers (May 1). They started as swingers, then relationships grew.

Wye and Dave

...Wye has been dating another man, Andrew, for 16 months and Dave has another girlfriend called Chrissy, who he was friends with for 15 years before starting a sexual relationship six months ago.

'He and his girlfriend Chrissy share a deep, solid, loving connection. Loving Dave has brought me face-to-face with some mighty big scary demons!,' she wrote for whimn.com.au.

Wye soon found herself dealing with feelings of jealousy, insecurity and fear on a level that she had never experienced before.

...Dave and Wye share a home and finances and she says that all four of them have even become friends, often spending time together in a group.

'We individually spend on average two nights a week with Chrissy and Andrew respectively, [who] both have their own homes in which they live with their children,' she wrote.

Wye originally met Dave at a swingers event she went to with a previous boyfriend, and both couples became friends. ...

● The Daily Mail made a separate story out of others who appeared on the Australian TV show: From separate apartments for their lovers to a three-date limit and 12 sexual partners: Inside the lives of the polyamorous and their open marriages (May 2)

...Crystal said she was married for years before she branched out in search of a new relationship.

Crystal appeared on the program with her second partner Andrew, and Andrew's primary partner Cassie.

Crystal said her relationship with Andrew worked seamlessly, despite having a husband and two young children at home.

But the mother-of-two said polyamory wasn't always smooth-sailing.

'My previous partner and I tried it, and that was when the jealously kicked in. We had a foursome and my partner got incredibly jealous,' she said.

Crystal admitted she also let jealously get the better of her.

'He wanted to be alone with another woman and I had to confront my insecurities. What if she's better in bed, what if he falls in love with her?' Crystal said.

She said that relationship ultimately ended, but her current polyamorous relationships made her happy.


...Revealing intimate details about his open relationship, Michael said his infidelity ended up being the best thing for his marriage with wife Renee. ... Michael said the couple struggled at first because Renee suffered from depression, but they quickly went from strength to strength.

The couple told Insight they were together for 20 years before they made the joint decision to open their marriage and invite other people in.

It wasn't long before Renee developed a strong connection with another man.

She said the connection helped her realise she too wanted an open relationship. ... The couple said they now had 'total freedom' and an 'amazing' bond.

...A study conducted at the University of Michigan in 2017, found people in open relationships were just as happy, if not more happy, than people in monogamous relationships.

The sample included more than 2,100 people, with about 1,500 in monogamous relationship and 600 in committed non-monogamous relationships.

Researchers found people in consensual open relationships felt similar levels of satisfaction and passionate love.

However, levels of jealously were lower and trust was higher among those engaged in committed open relationships.

● The free-on-mass-transit Metro UK presented this article and podcast: Sex with seven men – we talk polyamory on the Good Sex Bad Sex podcast (May 2, 2018).

...There were definitely moments of fear – because you’re essentially changing your entire value system around relationships.

I was like ‘Am I ready for this?’ For my values to change. What does it mean in other areas of my life? How I relate to people in general.

And something that’s been so strongly embedded in me by my family and generations before.

Am I ready to put all that on the side because I feel, strongly, that my sexuality as a woman wants to be expressed in that way?

I thought about it quite a lot and these days I believe that the world would be so much better off if we as women owned our pleasure and owned our sexuality much more – which is why I’m here!

● And this rather different, deeper story, just in today from Metro UK: ‘I’ve learned a lot about how I function in relationships’: How I became polyamorous and why it works for me (May 23)

Irene Palacio for Metro.co.uk
By Julia White

I leaned over to my lover from Norway and kissed him on the lips. Then I leaned over to my husband and did the same. Both smiled at me lovingly.

The three of us were attending a tantra weekend retreat.

‘How are you doing?’, asked my lover. ‘Which one of us would you like to do the next exercise in pairs with? Or one of the other guys in the group perhaps?’ asked my husband John.

I went with my lover as he was flying out of London the following day. John blew me a kiss and went off to be paired with a random lady in the group.

It may sound extreme but this type of scenario isn’t unusual in my polyamorous life these days. There are seven lovers in my life, based all over Europe (I travel quite a bit); several (but fewer) in his.

All of us love hanging out together, having long weekend brunches, attending play parties and self-development courses, chatting about anything from philosophy to kink.

I’ve never felt juicier, more fulfilled and more honoured in my womanhood.

And yet, just over a year ago, I wouldn’t even dream of this lifestyle. ...

In spring 2017, I attended a relationships and sexuality themed weekend festival called Togetherness and suddenly connected with my body in a way I haven’t done before.

I feel my blood boil and my vagina ready to make love to all the beauty in the world.

As a friend puts it, I finally lost my mind and came to my senses.

I noticed men, in casual situations, looked into their eyes and felt shivers go up my spine.

This wasn’t just about physical lust. It felt more like an awakening, an adventure of a lifetime – scary and exciting, waiting to happen. ... We decide to test whether we actually mean it.

A couple of gentle, conscious (and generally alcohol free) play parties later, ‘compersion’, a word used in the poly community to describe a sense of satisfaction one feels when seeing one’s partner delighting in his/her sexuality with another, started to make sense to us.

...My entire value system around relationships, how they work and how I look for meaning in them, underwent a thorough upgrade. And, like any major upgrade, it’s rather painful too, at times. ...

All my recent posts tagged Tabloids (including this one; scroll down).


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