"Three's a Crowd?"

The Guardian (London)

In one of Great Britain's major newspapers, a relationship columnist fields a reader's question about whether polyamory can work.

Looks like she did some googling and got a rough-draft version of reality. Not all polys badmouth monogamy. Not all use the primary-secondary model. Nor must you be "a stranger to jealousy" (no more, some would argue, than your skin should not feel pain; some polys say they treat unexpected jealousy as a useful sign that something is genuinely amiss, either in themselves or others.)

But at least she looked it up, which is more than many advice columnists do. The concept got explained in a mainstream outlet, some readers will research it for themselves, and life-changing lightbulbs may go off over a few people's heads.

By Dr Luisa Dillner

...Polyamory is having more than one loving sexual relationship at the same time with the knowledge and consent of all partners involved. The 'love' bit distinguishes it from swinging — polys (as they are known in the US) do not throw their car keys into a lucky dip in some stranger's living room. Polys say that monogamy is dishonest (surveys show that at least a quarter of people are unfaithful) and unnatural. What little research there is shows that for polyamory to work, you both have to want it, be able to communicate well, respect each other and agree your relationship is the 'primary' one. You must be a stranger to jealousy. There are no estimates of how common it is in the UK; in the US, enthusiasts estimate there are half a million polys. It is more common in male couples....

Read the whole column (Sept. 6, 2007).