The 35 polyamory conventions, retreats, gatherings in 2020!

In addition to Polyamory in the News, I maintain Alan's List of Polyamory Events: conferences, retreats, and so forth that are large enough to draw people regionally, nationally, and internationally — with paragraph descriptions and my impressions from the ones I've been to. Right now, 35 such events are on deck for 2020.

Below is a snapshot of the list as it stands at the end of 2019. I maintain it continuously for 12 months ahead. Bookmark it, and keep checking in!

And there's always a link here in the right-hand sidebar.

I hope to meet you at some of these.

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Any I missed?  Fixes needed?

Write me at  alan7388 (at) gmail.com

—Alan M.,  Polyamory in the News

How to find your LOCAL POLY GROUPS

● Poly Living East (Philadelphia)
February 7–9, 2020
Philadelphia, PA

Poly Living is put on each year by the Loving More nonprofit group, in an excellent large hotel near the Philadelphia airport and a rail stop. This will be Poly Living's 15th year (the 13th under Loving More's management). It's been drawing a lively, increasingly diverse crowd of 200 to 250 interesting people for talks, workshops, socializing, sharing, party and fun. Here were the 2019 presenters. Here's my writeup of the first Poly Living I attended (2006). In 2012 I gave the keynote speech. I'll be back again this time. Hope to meet you there!

Loving More, "supporting polyamory and relationship choice since 1985," is the original poly organization of the modern era and played a central role in getting the whole movement going.


● Winter Poly Wonderland
February 14–17, 2020
Abrams Creek Retreat Center, Mt. Storm, WV

Indigo Dawn, Dawson Driver, Michael Rios and their friends and partners in Network for a New Culture organize several poly and poly-friendly workshop retreats around the year at the Abrams Creek Conference Center in the mountains of West Virginia. Their goal is to build, over several days, an enduring network of sympathetic people from all over who won't necessarily fall out of touch as happens after most events. “The point is building tribe,” says Michael.

I went to Winter Poly Wonderland 2018 and have attended the (largely poly) Network for a New Culture Summer Camp East for many years. New Culture's practices for community creation and interpersonal-skills development, from ZEGG Forum to relationship-skills workshops, are ideal for this ambitious goal. “Here is where you can meet other poly people at a deeper level, learn the skills needed to handle your relationships, and become a part of a supportive network of people who share your relationship values.” Winter Poly Wonderland is one of the smaller, more intimate of these events; 29 of us attended in January 2018.


● Kleines Polytreffen, Winter (Germany)
February 21–25, 2020
near Fulda, Germany

The German organization PolyAmores Netzwerk (PAN) e.V., at Polyamory.de, runs transregional "Poly Meetings" for German-speaking polyfolks in Germany, Switzerland and Austria. According to the organizers, the gatherings serve as "a platform for networking and for the exchange of experiences and practical know-how. Also theoretical discussions and the planning of cultural and political activities. The programme is self organized by the participants. Minimum age 18. Two 'Grand Poly Meetings' take place every spring and fall; these draw 40 to 150 people for up to 70 workshops, talks and other events, depending on the format. The smaller winter meeting gathers about 40." In past years the meetings have sold out within days of being announced.


● Southwest Love Fest: A Conference on Ethical Non-Monogamy
April 3–5, 2020
Tucson, Arizona

This convention is on the way up. The first Southwest Love Fest in 2018 sold out with over 225 attendees, and the second in 2019 had over 400. (The only polyamory/ ethical nonmonogamy convention with more was the one-time OpenSF in SanFrancisco in 2012 with 500.) I was at SW Love Fest in 2018 and found the vibe exuberant and excited, the attendees (80% from Arizona) great-hearted and significantly diverse, and the presenters I saw were mostly excellent. The Saturday-night social-activity events included a simultaneous treasure hunt, dance party with costuming available, and a cuddle puddle in a pop-up gazebo under the stars. In 2019 a CEU track enabled psychology professionals to earn continuing-education credits. There was child care both years. The 2019 event featured a record 50 workshops, discussions, meetups and a town hall.

Conference organizers Kate Kincaid and Sara Bachmann-Williams recruited many volunteers from the Tucson and Phoenix poly and kink communities, and the success of the event seems to have come largely from word of mouth. Heavy involvement by the local community seems to make the difference for the success of a polycon. They're looking to do a complete hotel takeover in 2020.

Kate says that she and Sara will help advise anyone who wants to start a hotel polycon in their own city; write to southwestlovefest AT gmail.com.


● SoPoCo: Solo Polyamory Conference
April 18–19, 2020
Manhattan, New York, NY

Solo poly symbol 

This roving conference, centering on SoPo's, is entering its fourth year. "Are you new to polyamory and exploring the many possible configurations, or been practicing honest non-monogamy for decades? Regardless of where you are on the experience spectrum, you’ll appreciate the support, community, camaraderie, hospitality, and awesome keynote speakers we’re assembling for your enjoyment, learning, and growth. Building on 2017's inaugural worldwide event in Vancouver BC and 2018's event in Seattle [and 2019's in San Francisco], in association with Facebook's largest and most vibrant solo polyamory discussion group, this is your opportunity to meet other solo non-monogamous people and share real life experiences!" In past years SoPoCo has sold out in advance.

● RelateCon - Boise
April 24–26, 2020
Boise, Idaho

"RelateCon provides a unique and supportive gathering place for polyamorous people to connect as a community through educational workshops, social spaces, and opportunities for networking. The core value of this conference is to empower healthy relationships across a myriad of configurations." The first RelateCon in 2017 drew about 120 people, impressive for a first event, and in 2018 it nearly sold out. Here were the 2019 presenters. Facebook page. Twitter. Wrote organizer Ginger Polynirvana in 2017, "We are able to offer a simultaneous Professional track at RelateCon, which will offer CEUs to a wide variety of disciplines such as lawyers, social workers, counselors, and teachers." Here's Kitty Chambliss's enthusiastic writeup of the 2017 event. Here's the local alternative weekly paper's writeup that year.

The organizers are also starting a RelateCon in Atlanta; See August 7–9.

● Polytopia
Early spring 2020 (dates to be announced)
Portland, Oregon

Sex-Positive Portland will host the city's sixth annual "polyamory and open relationship symposium and celebration." The 2018 event sold out with a capacity of 150. From the 2019 description: "This three-day weekend exploration of polyamory includes an opening night gala, workshops, panel discussions, a poly house party.... Come learn, play, and explore your edges. Learn from our experienced and inspiring presenters sharing knowledge, tips, and wisdom while we celebrate a passion for loving more. Bring your friends and extended poly family, meet new friends and lovers, find your people!

"Polytopia offers workshops for those who are relatively new to navigating the joys and pitfalls of loving more and workshops for those who are already well-experienced with polyamory who are looking for ways to better live the life they love. Workshops will be in a variety of formats ranging from lecture and discussion to experiential and embodied activities in dyads, triads and more. We will also offer lunchtime discussion panels and affinity groups to choose from each day to deepen our knowledge and connections with each other." Facebook page.


● Rocky Mountain Poly Living
April 24–26, 2020
Denver, CO

Rocky Mountain Poly Living is run by Loving More (based in Colorado), which has put on Poly Living East in Philadelphia every February for 13 years. As in Philly: Talks, workshops, socializing, sharing, dance party, warmth, and fun. Now offering a CEU track for professional therapists.  The Denver attendance in 2019 was 125. Here were the Denver 2019 talks/workshops and their presenters. (In 2016 I gave the keynote speech.) Loving More, "supporting polyamory and relationship choice since 1985," is the original poly organization of the modern era and played a central role in getting the whole movement going.

● New Culture Spring Camp

May 15–19, 2020
Abrams Creek Retreat Center, Mt. Storm, WV

This is a smaller, more intimate version of New Culture Summer Camp held every July at the Abrams Creek Retreat Center in the mountains of West Virginia (see July for description). These events draw about 70% polyfolks; the focus is on building practices of transparency, self-understanding, communication skills, and intimacy that can create radically better relationships of any type. The events aim to build an enduring network of people who don't necessarily fall out of touch as happens after most events. "The point is building tribe," says organizer Michael Rios. I've gone to the West Virginia New Culture Summer Camp for years, attended the smaller Winter Poly Wonderland retreat in January 2018, and I can't recommend New Culture events highly enough.

"At Spring Camp, we’ll dive into compassionate, loving exploration of our desires and boundaries – spiritual, sensual, emotional, and more. Starting with intensive training in consent and clear communication, we’ll be gently encouraged to step into our power as autonomous, playful, flexible beings." The 2019 schedule. Video. Another camper speaks.

● Chicago Non-Monogamy Conference
Spring 2020 (date to be announced)
Chicago, IL

This one-day event began in 2017 with help from the Relationship Equality Foundation and has continued each year since. "Our goal is to help bring the Chicago non-monogamy community together across all the lines that divide us — age, gender, race, class, location, ability, configuration, label, and all of the other categories which house us." Facebook page. The 2019 schedule, sessions and presenters. Contact: chinonmonocon (at) gmail.com



● Atlanta Poly Weekend
June 2020
Downtown Atlanta, GA

A super-friendly weekend hotel conference of talks and discussions on poly relationships and making them work, and whatever other topics people propose; comedy, dance, and games; community building and socializing. Here were the 2019 speakers and sessions. Family-friendly; ask about the kids' program. I've been to most APWs since the first in 2011 (see my writeup from 2012) and gave the closing keynote talk in 2013. Total attendance in 2018 was over 200 (not all present at any one time). On opening night at least half the crowd raised their hands when asked "Who's here for the first time?" If you plan to bring a kid, please register as early as possible for planning purposes.


● International OpenCon Catalonia
Spring 2020
Galliners, Catalonia, Spain

2020 will be OpenCon Catalonia's ninth year. Originally modeled on the UK OpenCon, it runs by a self-generated unconference program. "An opportunity to get together in a friendly environment and share our experiences, our questions, the lessons we’ve learned, and the joys we’ve experienced in this new territory of polyamory/non-monogamy/open relationships. The basic plan is to combine workshops with plenty of opportunities for relaxing and socialising. Check the what will happen page for details on the programme as it develops." The working language is English. Over 18 only. Capacity 40; sells out far in advance. Read about past years.


● OpenCon València
Late spring 2020
Alborache, València, Spain

"Un esdeveniment per a compartir experiències sobre les relacions afectives ètiques no normatives: Poliamor, Anarquia Relacional, Xarxes Afectives, etc. Un cap de setmana de debats, tallers i activitats lúdiques que ens brindaran l'oportunitat de conèixer gent amb idees i actituds obertes entorn a les relacions afectives. Un espai on compartir experiències i inquietuds sobre models de vincles entre les persones, des d'una perspectiva feminista, solidària i basada en el respecte. El contingut de l'OpenCon el proporcionen les persones assistents, per la qual cosa cada convocatòria és una sorpresa i una experiència única." Poliamor Valencia Facebook page.

● Black Poly Pride
June 4–7, 2020
Washington, DC

This will be the second year for this event and its first in DC. "Co-founders @calicoeyez215 and @therealchanee are already hard at work with the help of the leaders of the black polyamorous community on the ground in D.C. and Nation wide! ... The theme for #blackpolypride2020, 'Black Polyamory: A Revolutionary Act,' will honor our past and highlight the many ways black polyamory enriches the ways in which we love, live and shape our futures." Facebook page.

● Summer Polytreffen (Germany)
June 9–14, 2020
Germany

The German organization PolyAmores Netzwerk (PAN) e.V., at Polyamory.de, runs transregional "Poly Meetings" for German-speaking polyfolks in Germany, Switzerland and Austria. The organizers say the gatherings are "a platform for networking and for the exchange of experiences and practical knowhow. Also theoretical discussions and the planning of cultural and political activities. The programme is self organized by the participants." Minimum age 18. In past years the meetings have sold out within days of being announced.


● Colorado Poly Weekend Retreat
June 25–29, 2020
Steamboat Springs, CO

"The Colorado Poly Weekend is an annual long weekend retreat for polyamorous people and people in poly-relationships to hang out together in a poly-normative, accepting environment. The weekend goes from Friday afternoon to Monday afternoon and is held each summer in the beautiful Colorado Rocky Mountains in Steamboat Springs, Colorado. Relax, make new friends, and enjoy the beauty of the Rockies!"

Organizer Tom Satter has written that this event is quite different from the Loving More Campout in Colorado a couple weeks later, which is run by his Loving More friends. "The [Loving More] campout is for families and is a camping event. Our retreat is for adults only, because there does tend to be some drinking and a lot of innuendo and we tend to play games like Cards Against Humanity. Also, our retreat is lodge based — people pay one fee for the weekend and that covers all lodging and food from Friday afternoon to Monday at noon. I donate monthly to Loving More and really like Robin and Chuy when I get to see them."


● PolyDallas Symposium
July 9–10, 2020
Dallas, TX

This large hotel conference centers people of color and the black experience. "This does not exclude anyone else! We love bountifully," writes organizer Ruby Johnson. "Our symposium provides a sex-positive safe space for those seeking knowledge about ethical nonmonogamy, who have questions about ethical nonomogamy, or are experienced with ethical nonmongamy. We bring to the forefront people of color who are queer, trans, and nonbinary.  This is space for all lovestyles. We leave all that stops us from loving fully and freely at the front door." Continuing Education Units (CEUs) available for professionals.


● Polywood Camping 2020
Summer 2020; dates to be announced
near Eganville, Ontario

"A kid-friendly poly camping weekend, at Raven’s Knoll Campground. Join us for a weekend of community building as we learn from each other via informal discussions, socializing, and fun. Come meet fellow like-minded poly people around the large communal bonfire; take part in various relationship building and strengthening discussions; share your poly knowledge and experiences over wine and cheese." Swimming, showerhouse, food truck. Camper hookups available, dogs welcome.


● Rocky Mountain Polyamory Family Campout
July 9–13, 2020
near Aspen, Colorado

Robyn Trask and Jesus Garcia of Loving More have held this informal family-friendly campout nearly every year for more than 15 years. Of late about 30 people usually attend. Robyn writes, "Join us for a weekend of hiking, playing, and just hanging out with other poly families from the Rocky Mountain Region. This is the one thing each year where the kids get to join in. My kids love the campouts as much if not more than I do. It is wonderful to enjoy the beauty of the Colorado Mountains and spend time with wonderful poly people." Registration opens in March 2020.


● Network for a New Culture Summer Camp East
July 17–26, 2020
Abrams Creek Center, Mount Storm, WV

I've attended this interesting, powerful, ten-day event for nine years. Network for a New Culture explores building intimate sustainable community through practices of curiosity, transparency, self-exploration, and self-responsibility. The days are structured around ZEGG Forum, various self-improvement and human-potential presenters visiting to offer their stuff, and sharing life, work, and play in the West Virginia mountain woods.

“While not exclusively a poly event,” says co-founder Michael Rios, “Summer Camp East is about 70% polyfolk, and 100% poly-friendly.” Here are my impressions from my first year. Here's a bit more from my fourth (last two paragraphs).

About 60 to 80 people attend. Vegetarian group meals; cabins and campsites in the woods (no vehicle hookups); bathhouse with sinks and hot showers. Some indoor accommodations are available onsite. Conditions are rustic, but a camp-owned motel is 3 miles away. Kids welcome; inquire about kids' program. Here's a beautiful, and accurate, promo video (I'm in it). Another camper speaks.


● Polyamory Unconference
July 2020; date to be announced.
Columbus, Ohio

A one-day event. "Polyamory Unconference is an event that is run by you, the participants! Attendees get to propose, vote on, and run sessions themselves. You’ll set the agenda and create an environment of innovation and productive discussion! Request topics and workshops on issues that you want to hear about, or present something — a facilitated discussion, a workshop on a specific skill, or a lecture on a topic you are familiar with. Advantages of the unconference format include: a focus on topics that are relevant to the attendees, an opportunity for teamwork development, flexibility of schedule, and an emphasis on contributions from every participant. The relationships built during an unconference often continue well past the event."


● Minnesota PolyCon
Summer 2020 (date to be announced)
Minneapolis, MN

In 2018 this new one-day event drew 86 people to workshops and presentations on sex positivity & consent, anatomy of arousal, solo poly, polyamory & mental health, poly & parenting, poly & religion, deconstructing jealousy, being out & poly, and fundamentals of good communication for your polycule. It ran all day and into the night. It repeated in 2019, and now it's back for a third year. Sponsored and run by the MNPoly Meetup group.

● Endless Poly Summer
August 2020 (dates to be announced)
Abrams Creek Retreat Center and Campground, Mt. Storm, WV

This will be the seventh year for Endless Poly Summer, one of the seasonal poly retreats that Indigo Dawn, Dawson Driver, Michael Rios and friends produce at Abrams Creek based on Network for a New Culture principles and ideas. These aim to build, over five days, enduring intimate community. I've gone to many of their events and endorse them highly. New Culture's practices for community creation and interpersonal-skills development are remarkable and effective.

From the website: “Here is where you can meet other poly people at a deeper level, learn the skills needed to handle your relationships, and become a part of a supportive network of people who share your relationship values.... Spend up to 5 days in a rustic woods-and-water setting, hang out around a bonfire, enjoy a song circle, cuddle up at a snuggle party, learn to take your relationships to the next level, and build connections with others that last all year long! We invite top-notch presenters, and live, work, learn and play together.” Conditions are rustic, but indoor accommodations are available. A lovely, and accurate, promo video (I'm in it). Another camper speaks.

● RelateCon - Atlanta
August 7–9, 2020
Atlanta, GA

"RelateCon-Atlanta is a three-day family-friendly conference that focuses on ethical non-monogamy and alternative relationships, providing education, socializing, and networking opportunities. We are the sister conference to RelateCon-Boise, that's in its fourth year.

In our inaugural year, we will be hosting 5 different tracks for different interests and experiences:
**Ethical Non-monogamy and Polyamory
**BDSM Relationships
**People of Color and ENM
**LGBTQIA and ENM
**ENM and Family

We will also have a full-time gaming room that will run its own track, a catered Friday night social, and a formal Saturday Night Speak Easy!" The hotel is a Marriott near near the airport. Facebook page.


● Loving More Oregon Retreat
August 14–17, 2020
Vernonia, OR

After a four-year hiatus, the Loving More summer retreat is back — now in Oregon instead of upstate New York. "This weekend-long retreat is an open-forum, highly interactive and participant-driven weekend of community, connection and opportunities to learn. You, the attendee, will co-create the agenda and schedule with fellow attendees and facilitators. We feel the best way to learn is to share with each other, so we offer a safe space for creative discourse, ideas and spontaneous workshops and playshops. The natural venue and smaller group allow an opportunity for deep connections." The site is about 30 miles north of Portland in view of Mount St. Helens.

On the dock at Polycamp Northeast

● Polycamp Northeast
August 14–17, 2020
Eastern New Hampshire

This 3½-day event began with a smashing success in August 2016 and has been running ever since. I attended three of the first four, and what a collection of loving hearts this has been each time. About 65 extraordinary people self-organize a variety of talks and fun activities: nonviolent communication techniques, general poly discussion, genderqueer topics, yoga, nightly campfire, board games, crafts, a kayak race, cuddle party, dance. The venue is a well-equipped old New England summer camp (all cabins have private baths) in the New Hampshire lakes region north of Boston. Waterfront with paddleboards, kayaks, canoes, water trampoline. Three meals a day included.

● At Burning Man
August 31 - September 7, 2020
Nevada desert

Village of PolyParadise
PolyParadise has been running at Burning Man for two decades. This is a large theme camp cluster, typically 350 x 440 feet, usually with about 300 campers, more than a third of them new each year now. Workshops and events include Heart of Now, Poly High Tea, the famous Human Carcass Wash, the Hiney Hygiene Station, Mind Melt, Revolutionary Honesty, Mindful Hugging Meditation, and a poly mixer. Writes Benevolent Dictator Scotto, "PolyParadise 2019 was absolutely incredible and our best effort yet at creating this amazing On-Playa home. Each year there are many challenges and together we find a way to make things right, together we build an amazing space within the gates of BRC, a place to really call home in the desert." Details.

● PolyCamp UK
Late summer 2020 (dates to be announced)
West Midlands, UK

This new event was cancelled in 2019 after two key organizers were seriously injured, but it may make a new start in 2020. Stay tuned. Facebook page.


● OpenCon Italia
September 2020 (date to be announced)
Perugia, Italy

Now that the nonprofit running this event, Associazione per la promozione delle relazioni etiche non-monogame (RETI), has finally expelled its problem co-founder and banned him from all events after interviews with seven women and a series of other things, I feel okay listing the annual OpenCon Italia here. See RETI's statement, in Italian and English. They've also set up a formal code of conduct.

About OpenCon Italia: "OpenCon Italia è un evento della durata di un week-end, aperto a chiunque ritenga che le relazioni felici ed etiche non debbano essere necessariamente monogame. Nel corso dell’OpenCon potrete partecipare a workshop, gruppi di discussione e attività sociali che vi consentiranno di incontrarvi e confrontarvi con persone che la pensano come voi, di far crescere la nostra comunità e di celebrare le sue diversità."


● OpenCon Madrid
September 11–13, 2020
Madrid, Spain

"OpenCon Madrid es un evento abierto a todas aquellas personas que quieran descubrir que las relaciones felices y sinceras no han de ser necesariamente monógamas. ¿En qué consiste? Consiste en una combinación de debates, talleres y actividades lúdicas que te brindarán la oportunidad de conocer gente con tus mismas ideas y actitudes, compartir experiencias e inquietudes, ayudar a fortalecer nuestra comunidad y disfrutar de su diversidad. El contenido de la Opencon lo proporcionan las personas asistentes, por lo que cada convocatoria será diferente. Este año es la quinta vez que se celebra en Madrid." Each year the conference sells out fast when registration opens.


● Fall Polytreffen (Germany)
September 23–27, 2020
Germany

The German organization PolyAmores Netzwerk (PAN) e.V., at Polyamory.de, runs transregional "Poly Meetings" for German-speaking polyfolks in Germany, Switzerland and Austria. The organizers say the gatherings are "a platform for networking and for the exchange of experiences and practical knowhow. Also theoretical discussions and the planning of cultural and political activities. The programme is self organized by the participants." Minimum age 18. In past years the meetings have sold out within days of being announced.


● New Culture Fall Camp
October 2020 (dates to be set)
Abrams Creek Retreat Center, Mt. Storm, WV

This is a smaller, more intimate version of New Culture Summer Camp held every July at the Abrams Creek Retreat Center in the mountains of West Virginia (see July here for description). These events draw about 70% polyfolks; the focus is on building practices of transparency, self-understanding, communication skills, and intimacy to create radically better relationships of any type. The aim to build, over several days, an enduring network of like-minded people who don't necessarily fall out of touch as happens after most events. "The point is building tribe," says organizer Michael Rios.

I've gone to the larger New Culture Summer Camp for the last eight years and can't recommend New Culture events highly enough. From the website: “Here is where you can meet other poly people at a deeper level, learn the skills needed to handle your relationships, and become a part of a supportive network of people who share your relationship values.... Spend up to 5 days in a rustic woods-and-water setting, hang out around a bonfire, enjoy a song circle, cuddle up at a snuggle party, learn to take your relationships to the next level, and build connections with others that last all year long!”

Explains Michael, "We are exploring the questions: What does it mean to be there for each other? What would it take to be solidly present in each others’ lives, responding flexibly and with love to the needs that emerge? What might we do right now to be there for each other? What role does commitment play? The deep truth is that each person is fundamentally alone. Yet at the same time, there is beauty and skillfulness in interdependence.... And beyond merely meeting needs, we can find delight in co-creation, and in the many ways we can support each other in greater joy. At this community journey, we will open these explorations in a field of love, curiosity, and compassion." Video. A camper's video.


● Outside The Box: Pittsburgh Polyamory Conference
Fall 2020 (date to be announced).
Pittsburgh, PA

Laszlo Productions, a Pittsburgh-based GLBTQIA events producer, put on this new one-day conference in 2019. organizer Lyndsey Sickler posts "We had a great time! Looking forward to planning the 2020 conference!" From the 2019 announcement: "We are excited to be putting together Pittsburgh's First Poly Conference. Outside the Box will take place at Persad Center.... The conference is FREE (donations gladly accepted)." The Persad Center is an LGBTQ human services, activist, and community center. The program ran from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Here were the 2019 sessions.

● Polyday 2020 (UK)
Fall 2020 (date to be announced)
London again?

In the last few years Polyday has been drawing 200-plus people. The 2018 Polyday got a nice writeup in Vice UK. From the website: "Come and meet hundreds of people that identify as non-monogamous at the largest event in Europe on polyamory, Relationship Anarchy and other forms of non-monogamy. New to polyamory or just curious? Experienced in all forms of non-monogamy? Something in between? Polyday has something for you! In previous years talks have covered designing relationships, sexual health, polyamory and mental health, polyamory and children, and BAME and non-monogamy. There will be opportunities to socialise, meet up after the event, and quiet space if you need a break." Facebook page. In past years PolyDay has sold out in advance.


● Beyond The Love
November 13–15, 2020
Columbus, Ohio

Last year this weekend conference, under new management, moved from its hotel to a somewhat smaller venue, the poly/kink/LGBT-friendly Columbus Space for Alternative Expression. It will continue there in 2020. No on-site accommodations, but hotels and restaurants are within about 0.4 mile. Many local volunteers help to put on a rich social-event schedule in addition to the class sessions during the day. Here were the 2019 presenters, classes and schedule. The new diversity and inclusiveness policy. Here's Kitty Chambliss's writeup of her experiences at the 2018 BTL.


2021

Watch this space....

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To add an event (of wide geographic interest, please) email it to me at alan7388 {at} gmail.com.

Kimchi Cuddles is based the cartoonist's real life. See her followup strip. And yes, she, "Rajeev" and "Terra" all made it to the Beyond the Love polycon in Ohio.

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How to find your LOCAL POLY COMMUNITIES
and their get-togethers!

For socials, potlucks, discussions, support, etc. near you, find and join your local poly group(s). You can:

● Try googling polyamory with your state and/or city. 

● Check Meetup.com with keyword polyamory and enter your zip code or city.

● Search Facebook Groups for polyamory with your state and/or city, and for poly with your state and/or city.

● If you're on Fetlife (NSFW landing page and content; TW: BDSM), you can search its groups for polyamory with your state and/or city, and for poly with your state and/or city.

● Check these lists:

   – Directory of Local Poly Groups maintained on Facebook. It's editable! If yours isn't here yet, add it.

   – Tristan Taormino's big list (needs updating), on the website of her book Opening Up. (Send additions, corrections, and changes to raymond (at) puckerup.com )

   – Canadian Polyamory Groups, courtesy of the Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association.

   – Local Poly Group Registry, currently kept alive by Michael Rios at polyinfo.org. This once-grand list seriously needs updating. Send additions, corrections, and changes to groups (at) polyinfo.org. If you'd like to take over the updating project, please write to that address.

---------------------------------------------------------

Can't find a local group near you? Maybe that's the universe saying you should start it!

– Here's organizer Kitty Chambliss's Polyamory Guide to Community Building. "So perhaps you’d like to start a community from scratch in your local area. I’m going to give you a roadmap for success to do just that!"

– And here are Joreth's many thoughts on the kinds of poly community events that might work in your area. She's been an organizer for a long time and has pretty much done it all.

– Simple, exact details of how to run a good, no-frills poly meetup: How I run poly picnic discussions, by Andrea Green.

– Prefer audio? From the Polyamory Weekly podcast: Episode #365, Building your poly community with meetups; and Episode #464, Building Your Poly Community as it grows.

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Vice reports on London's Polyday convention

The UK's annual Polyday conference took a hiatus a few years ago, then came back with renewed energy under new leadership. The 2018 event last month brought out 250 people, Vice UK reports in an interesting look at us by an accomplished feminist journalist.

We Went to a Polyamory Event and Learned What a 'Polycule' Is

The organisers of Polyday think it's the biggest non-monogamy event in Europe, and tried to match that scale with a raft of talks and workshops.

Three organisers of Polyday – L-R: Charlotte Davies, Conaire
Hodgson and Eunice Hung – at a wedding.

 
By Sophie Hemery

Earlier this month, in a charmingly dingy community centre in south London, 250 people gathered to talk about polyamory. The organisers think Polyday is the biggest non-monogamy event in Europe — and in its four years [since being revived] this was the biggest yet. "We're at maximum capacity, way more than expected — it's going to be tight, hot and sweaty!" proclaimed the welcome speech.

Polyamory has just gone mainstream in BBC1's primetime drama Wanderlust, and you couldn't help but wonder if some of the crowd had decided to attend while choking down their Merlot and Kettle Chips. That is to say, the crowd wasn't just the likely suspects. There were some tasselled waistcoats and flares, sure, and some fluorescent hairstyles — but there was also: all sorts.

There were retired folk in cardigans; sleek, almost-famous actors; parents and children; millenials-who-can't-buy-homes-because-they-drink-too-many-oat-milk-flat-whites. Some were polyamorous veterans, experienced at having concurrent, committed intimate relationships. Others were taking their first steps away from the monogamous doctrine. ...

...Over the past five years, "polyamory" has become ten times more popular as a UK Google search, and there's also now a dating app dedicated to alternative relationships.

..."It's my first time at a poly event," one antsy but excited man told the woman next to him, "my wife suggested polyamory, and I'm embracing it." Beside me sat a beaming trio holding hands. ...

"I think we live in a fear-based culture surrounding relationships," said Matt, an attendee who is new to non-monogamy. "It's all, 'Oh god, don’t leave me!' and there's this pressure for one person to be everything." In contrast, Matt finds polyamory "very celebratory and honouring of people.

"When you stop looking for one person to cover everything, you can really engage with that person without the pressure," he said. "Knowing that they don't have to be everything, because you have a community, you have other people, enables you to be much more present." ...

Read on (Oct. 23, 2018).

● More recently, Hemery published a related article in the high-think magazine Aeon: Can relationship anarchy create a world without heartbreak? (Nov. 13, 2018). Spoiler: Probably not, nor should it, but it could make heartbreak less pathological.

Can you imagine a world without heartbreak? Not without sadness, disappointment or regret — but a world without the sinking, searing, all-consuming ache of lost love. A world without heartbreak is also a world where simple acts cannot be transformed, as if by sorcery, into moments of sublime significance. Because a world without heartbreak is a world without love — isn’t it?

More precisely, it might be a world without love’s most adulated form: romantic love. For many people, romantic love is the pinnacle of human experience. But feelings don’t exist in a cultural void. The heartbreak-kind of love is a relatively new and culturally specific experience, masquerading as the universal meaning of life.

...What if there was a way to reap the depths and heights of love without the heartbreak?

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New RelateCon poly convention gets a good newspaper writeup

Idaho's Boise Polyamory Network held its first-ever RelateCon convention three weekends ago. It drew 120 people, very successful for a first-time poly con, especially for a small city in a very red state.

A reporter for the local alternative weekly paper attended. Their long article went online today. Excerpts:

Along Came Poly

Ryan Johnson

A Boise convention brings polyamory out in the open

By Harrison Berry

...RelateCon brought into the open a community that has gained momentum online but, because of Idaho law and misrepresentation in the media and broader society, has been largely secretive.

"I just want people to not feel so alone in what they're doing," said [Jennifer] Hyde, president of the Boise Polyamory Network, a mostly online group of approximately 450 people. ... The purpose of the convention was for the group to meet openly, expose members to national resources, and discuss pressing issues related to what they call "ethical non-monogamy."

How to Find a Partner

Many of the presentations at RelateCon were lighthearted, with titles like "50 Shades of Real Life," "The Cuddle Puddle Project" and "Painless Poly Dating 101." One of two talks [Tyson] Downey hosted was about regaining passion in long-term relationships in the midst of "new relationship energy" from other partners.

...Another presenter, Masami Tadehara-Hinkle, offered attendees a "relationship shopping list" for identifying new partners and maintaining healthy relationships with existing partners. More than a checklist to be applied to others, however, Tadehara-Hinkle said it encourages people to be introspective, considering carefully what they want out of their new relationships.

"The idea is that it's more effective in terms of relationship structure to define the relationship in terms of individual needs, rather than having a set of rules," she said. [Amen to that, say I. –Ed.]

Tadehara-Hinkle's idea for a checklist came from the website morethantwo.com, which she described as "the poly bible." There, site curator Franklin Veaux has collected tutorials, tips, how-tos and common mistakes by newcomers to the practice. There's also a "relationship bill of rights" and advice on when and how to be openly polyamorous.

...Conference organizers said socializing was one of RelateCon's most important functions. Activities included poly bingo; a fancy dinner where polyamorous couples, triples and beyond could mingle; and meet-and-greet events at the hotel bar.

Because polyamorous groups are spread across the state, the informal events were some of the first times people who may have known each other online could meet in person.

Connecting to a National Conversation

The Boise polyamorous community started small. For the past three years, Hyde and the Boise Polyamory Network organized monthly potlucks at members' homes, sang karaoke and went bowling. Though they typically met in small groups, attendance at some events could reach 30 people. Most of their interactions took place online, but Boise Polyamory Network aimed higher — for a must-attend event that would bring the community together and connect it to the national polyamory movement.

"We're reaching and we hope to spread," said RelateCon organizer Heather Franck. "This is a national conference and we want reach across the nation."

Most RelateCon attendees were from Idaho and the Treasure Valley area, but many came from Utah, Oregon and farther afield—from the East Coast and even Canada. It also pulled nationally recognized speakers and organizers, including the Atlanta, GA.-based Relationship Equality Foundation. ... The group's mission is to offer education and resources to conferences on relationship structures and affiliated organizations. When Boise Polyamory Network asked REF for support, it sent four educators to the City of Trees.

"It's part of our mission to support new and up-and-coming organizations," said REF Vice President Billy Holder. "Relationship Equality Foundation is growing by leaps and bounds, and we're doing it by grassroots empowerment of organizations like RelateCon."

Beyond affiliating with national communities, REF collects data about polyamorous people through its legal survey, spotlights local events and organizations, and helps present large conventions like Atlanta Poly Weekend and the Chicago NonMonogamy Conference. It's also an awareness-raiser, spreading the word on ethical non-monogamy—a job that gets a little easier every year thanks to increased media attention given to the lifestyle. ...

Ethics, Children and Faith

Jennifer Hyde has seven children. Heather Franck is trying to conceive with her partner. Tyson Downey and Billy Holder are both fathers. Children are a fact of polyamory and a test of the ethics of the lifestyle.

"If you exclude any element of the family—a child, a partner, a husband, a mom—you're excluding the element of family," Holder said, describing the importance he places on being honest with his children.

Ethics was a central feature of RelateCon, encompassing nearly every aspect of polyamorous relationships, from intersections with the law, sex, introducing the practice to partners and discussing the lifestyle with children.

Conversations about the polyamorous lifestyle between parents and children can be uncomfortable. ... During one of these interactions, Hyde's then 5-year-old daughter called her a "cheater" for dating more than one man. When Hyde asked her where she learned about infidelity, the child told her she learned it from the Disney Channel. ...

...According to Franck, in right-to-work state Idaho, polyamorous people have lost their jobs because of the perceived ethical failings associated with "swinging."

Several RelateCon presentations sought to address these and other issues. Topics included identifying abusive relationships and how to help people in them, safe sex practices and BDSM, the roles of consent and honesty in the lifestyle, and legal issues related to polyamory. ...

Read the whole article (April 19, 2017).

● Also: Here's a writeup of the event by Kitty Chambliss, one of the presenters, at her Loving Without Boundaries site: All of the AWESOME at RelateCon 2017.

RelateCon is on again for 2018, but no dates yet.

Keep an eye on ALAN's LIST of POLYAMORY EVENTS. Right now it lists 32 conventions, campouts, retreats and other gatherings (with descriptions) worldwide for the next 12 months.

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A Fox station covers a Loving More convention

It's a cautious dance whenever a TV crew is invited to cover a Loving More convention, as happened last month at Rocky Mountain Poly Living in Denver.

Robyn Trask, who became Loving More's director 11 years ago, made it her mission from the start to spread polyamory awareness to the world at large. That means courting the media. But many polyfolks are not out, and a convention really must be a safe space for everyone.

Her solution has been to put strict limits on what reporters and especially film crews can do. They are introduced to the crowd on opening night. No one can appear in a photo or video clip, even momentarily in the background, unless they choose to wear a wristband that means "I'm OK with being photographed." The crew's time at the convention is limited. Sometimes, people who want to talk on camera only do so in a designated place. The media reps agree to the rules beforehand in writing, and the agreement has legal weight. As far as I know there hasn't been a problem.

On arriving at Rocky Mountain Poly Living, we were told that a film crew from the Fox affiliate in Phoenix would be present. When they were introduced at the opening gathering they looking kind of grumpy to me, as if they weren't used to such restrictions. Most of the crowd-filming they could do was restricted to the masquerade ball later that evening. I was nervous. Would the masks and costumes give them an easy way to make us look weird?

Yesterday the report finally aired on the news in Phoenix. I needn't have worried! Watch here:



Here's the text on the segment's webpage, pretty much a transcript of what aired (May 17, 2016):

In the middle of a major spring snowstorm, the streets of Denver seem deserted, but it's a celebration of love, at the National Loving More Convention in the Denver suburbs. Here a wife may be dancing with her boyfriend, and her husband doesn't mind. That's the polyamorous way.

"It is loving more than one in a committed relationship, it's that simple," said Torin Caffrey.

"I just came to terms with the fact I wasn't a monogamous person, if that meant I had to be alone then I would rather be alone than cheat or be dishonest," said Robyn Trask.

"For me it just comes naturally, I love seeing Robyn happy, so the thought of her going out and seeing her giddy it actually just warms my heart," said Jesus Garcia.

Robyn met Ben years ago at a conference, and the two have been close ever since.

"Over time anything is going to change, and when people see that there are options they didn't know they had, some of those people are going to be interested," said Ben.

People came from across the country to attend the conference; some say they've been "polys" as long as they can remember, others are just learning about it. Attendance at the event has grown every year, and the organizers say the younger generation tends to be much more accepting of the lifestyle.

"I always knew that our family was a little different from our friends, but I never really paid a lot of attention to it until about age 11 when I noticed some of my mom's friends weren't just friends," said Marina Trask.

Trask has nothing bad to say about her mom's lifestyle. She says she is polyamorous too.

"I feel like my mom being polyamorous made her more honest with me, she used the same honestly, she did with me, and she did with her partners, and any child would want to have that honest with their parents," said Trask.

Seminars at the convention were taught by longtime supporters of the lifestyle; one literally wrote the book on polyamory.

"Love doesn't equal ownership if I'd go to a party and people would say who do you belong to, and I would say didn't slavery go out a long time ago, I really believe love is about giving not about clinging," said Mim Chapman.

Make no mistake we live in a monogamous world; we've all heard about swingers, but polyamory, supporters say, is different. It's more about long term relationships than flings. But with those multiple relationships come a range of emotions, including jealousy.

"With a polyamorous relationship it is important that a person is ready to give time to each of the people they are involved with, give emotional space to each person they are involved with," said Frances.

Scottsdale psychologists Morgan Frances and Marcus Earle counsel couples and have had some experience with polyamorous relationships.

"If anything you have complicated your life. It takes a lot more work. What I found about the polyamorous relationships is a commitment to communicate with one another. To be honest in that communication to stay with the process until they come out with an outcome that everyone feels good about," said Marcus Earle.

It's a growing trend in the Valley too.

"Right now we have over 700 members," said Marla Curtis.

Curtis runs a meetup group for polyamorous people in Scottsdale.

"I have been married to my husband for 31 years, and I have a girlfriend that I have been with for over 12 years," said Curtis.

We went to a meeting at a Scottsdale restaurant, but for privacy reasons the cameras stayed outside. Polyamory is clearly not widely accepted, and reputations and jobs are at stake.

"There is a lot of worry being outside the norm, that it could adversely affect your life," said Curtis.

All those worries seemed to be put aside at the Denver convention, where they proudly promote a polyamorous life.

"Really it translates into many loves, and it's done honestly and ethically with all the partners involved knowing about the relationships," said Trask.

Trask says her polyamorous relationships have lasted decades; her monogamous ones did not last very long.

We couldn't have asked for better. Yay in particular for Marina! And on Fox no less.

Another plus: Pieces of this good stuff may get used in future reports elsewhere on the Fox network.

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