"Du und ich und ich und er"
("You and I and me and him")
A progressive daily newspaper in Germany, often aligned with the Green Party, presents what looks like a good introduction to what polyamory is about. Here's some of what I make of it (with lots of help from Google Language Tools):
By PHILIPP MATTHEIS
Karin's second wedding ring hangs from a chain around her neck. The other, the official one, is on her ring finger. "Unfortunately," says the 47-year-old, "in Germany you can't marry several partners." Rainer, her husband, 53, sits at the other end of the couch and nods, smiling. In addition to Karin he has "between two and five relationships, depending on how you look at it." They've been a couple for 20 years and married for nine. For about five years, they've called themselves "polyamorous" or simply "poly."
...In contrast to an "open relationship," [polys] emphasize emotional attachments to several people. Sex is a possibility but is not the decisive factor. A polyamorous relationship involves readiness for complete equality, honesty, and communication....
Polyamorists share their experiences in Internet forums, and groups also exist in larger cities. Overall, the scene in Germany has a few hundred active members.... Books like Breakfast for Threesomes [Ein Frühstück zu Dritt: Leben und lieben in Mehrfachbeziehungen] serve as guides....
...For the last few months [26-year-old Juliet] has written in her blog, polyamor.blog.de, the everyday thoughts of a young poly woman. She quotes the poet Rainer Maria Rilke: "The more love you give, the more of it you have." Sounds good; sounds simple. But it's not.
"Living polyamory is hard work," says Martin, 35, host of the website polyamor.de. "This way of life requires complete honesty and constant communication with each other." Any doubts, any harmful feelings or jealousy must be addressed....
Okay, from here on I can't resist putting up the raw Google Translator, just for hilarity:
Zerfasert not love, when they split, fragmented, it divides? Will not be the last refuge for romance to the consumer society barters away? "In my opinion, you can only Polyamorer a doubt love other people," says Martin. "Suppose you been in a stable two-heritage drawing. Routine has crept. And then you are at a party and meet a person who you will find incredibly exciting. As Mono gamer you make accusations, zweifelst to love your partner and with your partner. You are under pressure decision, you are unhappy."
(James Thurber would have loved that.)
...For Karin and Rainer... more important is to last remnants monogamer embossing rid: "In the past our common bed was always closed," says Karin. "I was not jealous of his sexual contacts with other women, but I took our common bed as a safe shelter, the only one of us. But now is no longer a problem." Recently, she said, she could be just in Hamburg at Holger's, her second husband, was, as Rainer they called on the phone. "He was so happy. He was just in love and I had to tell." Rainer grins. Then he tells how he, for the first time, Karin and Holger sexual zusah and he dazulegte. And then grin both.
Sounds hot. Here's the whole article, in German (Nov. 2, 2007).
The paper put up a poll asking its readers whether they could be happy in a poly situation. Of about 1,400 who replied, 47% said yes, monogamy is unnatural; 31% said maybe, with jealousy always present; and 22% said no, two loves would negate each other.
Updates: Sprechen Sie Deutsch? A German-language poly community has sprung up on LiveJournal. Here are its posts tagged as being about poly in German-language media.
See also Liste der deutschsprachigen polyamoren Treffen.
Also: polyamor.blog.de, and see the section "Poly in den Medien" (right-hand column, scroll down).
Also on the same site: Presseschnipsel.