Friday Polynews Roundup — Triad storyline on "The Connors," Black Poly Nation gets TV rep, loving polyfamily profiles, community dreams, and evangelical worry that this all hits too close to home

Welcome again to Friday Polynews Roundup, for February 28, 2020.

● We begin with something a bit different. The attractiveness of polyamory for good, decent people has become deeply concerning to Albert Mohler, the very public president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, one of the largest training institutions for America's largest Protestant denomination. In 2003 Time called him the "reigning intellectual of the evangelical movement in the U.S." When he talks great numbers listen, and many of them are serious and intelligent people.

This morning he put up a long article expressing concern that polyamory is turning into such a thing that some leading evangelicals seem to be wavering about its wrongness: Polyamory in Evangelical Headlines? A Signal We Can’t Miss and a Challenge We Can’t Avoid (Feb. 28).

The headlines in question arise from that article last October in Christianity Today, America's flagship evangelical magazine, by two pastors coping with the "un-biblical" but sincere polyamorous relationships that some of their parishioners live in and come to them seeking advice about.

Mohler and the two earlier pastors agree that this is against doctrine and wrong. But how to deal with it without driving church members out of the church altogether? Mohler writes:

Christianity Today, often identified as the flagship magazine of American evangelicalism, ran an article a few weeks ago with the title, “Polyamory: Pastors' Next Sexual Frontier.” Now, as we seek in worldview analysis to understand cultural and moral change, we need to recognize that sometimes that change is signaled by how and when and where an argument appears. In this case, we're talking about Christianity Today.

...The article begins by telling us about a couple, Tyler and Amanda. They're married to each other, and yet, there enters into their relationship another man, and Amanda develops a romantic relationship with this second man. They began, "Exploring polyamory."

Then, the article tells us, "Making the situation even more complex, Tyler and Amanda sought counseling from a Christian counselor who advocated polyamory."...

The authors write, "How can pastors and leaders prepare to address questions related to polyamory? Several pastors tell us it's becoming more common for people who identify as poly to ask about their church's view on the matter. Will they be accepted and affirmed?” They go on to write, "The discussion is still young enough that most pastors have some time to construct a robust, compassionate, thoughtful response to the question, 'Is your church inclusive of people who are poly?' " Now, this is a very strange approach for an article to take that will be published in Christianity Today, but it gets stranger when the authors write, "Another important pastoral step is to distinguish elements of polyamory that are in violation of God's will from elements that are simply culturally unfamiliar to us." [All emphases are mine –Ed.]

"When we want to lovingly call people to repentance," they write, "We should be precise about what needs repentance and what relationships or elements can and should be sanctified in Christ. For example," they continue, "The notion of kinship in polyamory is a secular echo of the way Scripture calls the church to function as a new family. In cultures that idolize individualism, but actually isolate individuals, polyamory's focus on relationship, care, and affection could have a powerful pull." They continue, "And in churches that idolize marriage and the nuclear family, polyamory's focus on hospitality and community can be an attractive alternative." This paragraph concludes, "We can acknowledge that many of the elements that draw people to polyamory, deep relationships, care for others, hospitality and community are good things."

...Perhaps the biggest issue at stake in the appearance of this article is the fact that it appeared.... I am perhaps most haunted by the question that is asked early in the article when speaking of those who are involved in polyamory and asking about the church, and whether or not in the church, "Will they be accepted and affirmed?" Buying into that kind of formula is extremely dangerous for the church of the Lord Jesus Christ. ...

I do agree with the point made in this article that polyamory or polygamy represents the new front that all pastors and churches are going to have to deal with. We're going to be confronted every single congregation one way or another by this challenge. ... The fact that this article appeared as it did, where it did, in the pages of Christianity Today is a signal to us. ... We are looking here at a signal we can't miss and a challenge we can't avoid.

Meanwhile, a variety of Christians are not a bit hesitant to proudly proclaim that love is love and, within good ethics, the more the better. See my big roundup of such material last October, Poly & Christian — a huge and diverse field.


Meanwhile out in the secular world, events continue apace.

● Today (February 28) is Metamour Day, and I'm kinda proud of what I wrote about it and stuff that you did.

● Remember the therapist Dr. Karen Ruskin, the loud TV and radio denouncer of polyamory and open relationships? As I posted Wednesday, she finally admitted she was wrong:

Consensual non-monogamy is healthy and advantageous for some. Yes, this is a fact, based on client and non-client report. ... I heard other stories. Stories of great love and success opening up one’s heart, mind and body to additional people. Stories of personal and relational growth, discovery and connection. For many couples, Polyamory, Open marriages and Swinging is value add and opens up dialogues with one’s spouse/primary mate that would otherwise never have been discussed. ...

● Ever more triad-family profiles keep appearing in the British tabloids. Here's just one, in the Daily Mail: Childhood sweethearts who invited a single mother to join their marriage insist being a 'throuple' makes them BETTER parents because there's an extra person to give their children attention (Feb. 26).

It comes with lots of pix and this extraordinarily fine, nearly 8-minute video doc of the family, including a visit by the kids' skeptical grandmothers who are won over:

By Jessica Green for Mailonline

...High school sweethearts Leo Barillas, 35, and Mary Barillas, 31, met estimator Kimberlee Slagle, 29, all of Washington State, at their CrossFit gym business in 2015 and became fast friends.

As they spent more time together, their friendship blossomed into a romantic attraction and they formed a thruple in September 2016.

Kimberlee and her two children, Keagen, 11, and Kymper, seven, joined the Barillas' and their two children Carson, nine, and Paige, four, at their home in June 2017, and they've been living under the same roof ever since.

They believe their triad relationship has benefited their youngsters and plan to expand their family, with Kimberlee and Mary hoping to fall pregnant at the same time.

Mother-of-two Kim explained: 'Having an extra body is so useful for parenting, it just means you're splitting the work between three rather than two.'

...'We weren't actively seeking a third,' explained Leo. 'Kim came into the picture as an athlete at the gym, we trained her and got to know her.

'We became friendly and would have her over socially, then that progressed into a sexual thing. It was actually Kim who said "I don't know if I can come and hang out at the weekend because I'm growing feelings for you both of you"'.

Kim added: 'I understood that they were a married couple but I could feel my feelings changing and so I started to pull away. It was incredibly hard for me to tell them how I felt – it was a scary moment for me.'...

...Thankfully, family members have been accepting of their arrangement and even the kids enjoy having another parent around.

Keagan, 11, admitted: 'I like it better having three parents because you have more people to talk to.'

...They share their family life on Instagram under the handle, @pnwtriad16, and want to inspire others to be honest with who they are - even if that differs to what's considered 'normal' by society.

● Oh alright, here's another one, also from the Daily Mail (one day later), also with beautiful pix and video: Mother who is in a polyamorous triad reveals she is raising her baby to be GENDERLESS, as she shares how she is co-parenting the nine-month-old child with both of her live-in lovers (Feb. 27). This group lives in Austin, Texas.

A mother who is in a relationship with both a man and another woman has revealed how she is raising her baby to be genderless - while sharing co-parenting duties with both of her live-in partners.

Brittany Taylor, 32, from Rhode Island, has been in an open relationship with her nine-month-old baby's father Conor McMillen, 36, from California, for more than four years, after meeting him at a health festival in New York.

However, in 2018, she met and became romantically involved with Bridgette Wolleat, 30, who soon after moved in with Brittany and Conor in their home in Austin, Texas, where she continues to enjoy a relationship with Brittany while helping to raise the couple's child Ilya.

Brittany, Conor, and Bridgette with baby Ilya.

Brittany and Conor firmly believe that their fluid, sex-positive relationship - with each other and with their external partners - will have a positive influence on their child, Ilya. In fact, they credit their way of life with providing Ilya with important lessons about love, unconditional support, and the importance of being yourself.

The couple have also decided not to gender Ilya and use non-binary pronouns.

...Despite oftentimes having separate intimate partners, Brittany and Conor attribute their openness and honesty with strengthening the bond they share with each other.

The couple regularly share videos with their 55,000 YouTube subscribers talking about their unique family dynamic. Brittany and Conor have received a positive response to this and hope to continue to promote and normalize fluid, healthy relationships.

'We share co-parenting with Ilya. We split it really evenly,' Brittany said.

...'The relationships we have with each other are so important because they set the vibe that Ilya is in. We're all really intentional about how we show up and the basis of that is so much love and encouragement for everybody to be supportive of each other.

...'It's really common for us to say polyamorous. We've used the word triad before. We've used metamours, but we like the term relationship anarchy. It means there are no words to describe what we're doing.

'We've had such a positive response, which makes sense because of the way we're going about it. So many people reach out to us and say, "I do things totally different, but I love what you're sharing, and I see so much value in it."

'Parents reach out to us and say, "I'd love to have more tribe, more family, more community around me."

'I think that's an innate truth that we used to do this more in tribes. I think it's a lot for people to take on, and it's a lot to do with stress and endurance. So many people can appreciate the vision of being in a community which can help and support them and their children.

'Things like competition and jealousy fall away when you're in this space of thinking we're all doing this together. We really love that undertone of unity and encouragement of the individual in the collective. ...

● On Houston's FOX 26 TV, "The Isiah Factor Uncensored," hosted by Isiah Carey, advertises that it "takes a no-holds-barred look at issues facing Houston's black community." On Thursday Feb. 27 he did a 10-minute interview with a polyfamily of five.



It all began when Shalaun Porter, Alex's wife (at center in the photo below), saw a positive TV show perhaps rather like this one and broached the idea to him. But says Shantell (to the right of Alex) "It was not the best start"; she and Alex cheated outside the marriage. However, Shalaun got past her hurt about it and decided, "I was willing to open up my home and meet her."

It worked, and Shalaun and their two kids (who come on halfway through; they're at left in the picture) consider Shantell an effective other mother. Says Shantell, "They took me in as their own, and I took them in as my own." Although the kids sometimes have trouble getting the situation across to their disbelieving friends.

The parents have faced public hostility but find great community support in the Houston branch of Black Poly Nation (@Black_Poly_Nation), and Alex gets a plug in for its three-day festival coming up in Houston in May. The family's own Facebook page is Portah Family, where we learn that they have represented in the local media before.


● A poly storyline drops into another broadcast comedy series, in the February 25th episode of ABC's "The Connors" (successor to "Roseanne"). From a plot summary: "Jackie hits it off with a fun married couple (guest stars and real-life husband and wife Clark Gregg and Jennifer Grey), so much so that they "invite" her into their relationship." (Season 2, Episode 14, "Bad Dad and Grads.") Did anybody watch?

Nor do the show writers seem about to let this drop. The next episode, #15, to air on March 17, is reportedly titled "Beards, Thrupples and Robots."


● At the University of Western Ontario, in the annual Sex Issue of the student Western Gazette, Poly and proud at Western (Feb. 25):

By Emily Tayler, News Editor

...The second-year studio arts major said her fears were common to people first opening themselves to more than one partner.

“One of my fears going into it … was that I’m not going to be the person. That’s something that’s pushed in our culture all the time, ‘the one,’” she says. “The idea that there could be more than one person being ‘the one’ is really scary, because then you think 'I’m not as valuable,' when that’s not true.”

...While monogamous couples find fulfillment in one person, polyamory can bring together any number of people.

While seeing a partner be romantic with another person can spur jealousy for monogamous people, polyamory is rooted in the idea of “compersion” — experiencing joy because somebody else is feeling joy.

“A good example [of compersion] is if your partner is having an intimate moment or a date night or whatever with another partner,” Rayne explains. “I’m really happy because my partner is having a good time and they’re enjoying that, so that makes me feel good.”

...Rayne explains there is still a lot of love between her and Bobby. They’re “metas” to each other: both romantically connected to the same person, but not connected on their own.

The throuple, a three-person couple, lives together with one large bed between them. But each plays a distinct role in the relationship.

...Adam never expected to be poly, but he was already intimately acquainted with the subject through his dad’s polyamorous relationship later in life. His father’s spouse was experiencing medical issues and the couple was having trouble with tasks like keeping the house clean and enjoying each other’s company. A childhood friend of his wife joined their relationship, and Adam says they’ve been incredibly happy ever since. ... “It’s like a relationship that’s a community.” ...

● At first glance I thought this one was satire — of a future when poly is standard and monogamists are the minority weirdos. But no, it's a gay guy telling about his real life in Metro UK, a free paper for bus and train commuters. I’m polyamorous but I’m in a monogamous relationship – and it works (Feb. 24)

By Luis Bracamontes

Deep down I’ve known it for years, but it took me a lot of courage and work on myself to finally admit it....

Luis Bracamontes photo

...But there’s a catch with my current situation: I have a boyfriend – and he’s a hundred per cent monogamous, and so is our relationship.

...After a lot of healthy and not-so-healthy talks where we would listen to each other’s needs and wants, we both agreed to be exclusive. Does it come naturally to me? Maybe not. Was I forced to make this decision? Not at all. Am I just waiting for him to change his mind? Definitely not.

...It’s definitely not fair for me to impose a lifestyle and vision that my partner doesn’t feel comfortable with. Relationships are about consent, mutual understanding and compromise.

...I don’t have to be having sex with other people to express my polyamory. For example, we openly talk about how we feel attracted to other people and we enjoy sharing photos of cute people with each other.

...The truth is: there is no perfect formula for alternatives to monogamy. It’s really a lot of trial and error and mostly having really, really good communication...

● Also in Metro UK, four days later: How to tell your partner that you want to be in a polyamorous relationship (Feb. 28):

By Almara Abgarian

...If you’ve been playing with the idea of a polyamorous relationship, tread with caution when bringing this up to your other half [sic]. To help you start what could become an awkward conversation (but hopefully one with a happy ending), here’s a handy guide on what to say, when to say it and what to do if your partner reacts negatively to the idea.

First, be absolutely sure that you want to do this. Polyamory works for a lot of people, but mentioning your desires about this to your partner could change the dynamic of your relationship, so don’t blurt it out after a few drinks in the pub or use it as an excuse to enjoy threesomes (that’s a completely different conversation).

And take some time to think about why you want a polyamorous relationship – and if you want emotional connections with other people, as well as physical (or purely want to sleep with other people, which isn’t the same thing).

‘Start this conversation at a good time when both you and partner are feeling OK,’ [Dr Martina Paglia] tells us. ‘Don’t start this conversation while having an argument, or when you or your partner are feeling nervous, worried, sad or frustrated over something, otherwise the situation may escalate and get out of control....

But… where to start?

‘Sweetheart (or use a pet name), I have something to tell you,’ is how Duchess Iphie, a relationship, sex and intimacy coach recommends that you start the conversation. ‘I love you very much but I have been exploring the idea of us being in an open relationship. This is not because you are not enough, but I want to explore my desires outside the confines of monogamous relationship. I know this may have come as a shock to you but can you tell me what you think?’

To me that sounds way too fraught and pressury. How about, sitting at the computer, "Hey, lookit this thing on the news. A bunch of people are all having relationships with each other and the couple is happy about it. What do you think about how that would work?" Keep it about something distant you observe together, and you'll get the unforced response that you need to hear. And if it's not to be, you can drop it with no harm done.


● In a similar vein, a morning TV show on Australia's 7News presents Open relationships: The pros and cons, and how to discuss it with your partner (Feb. 20). With 7 minutes of video and a text summary.


That's Friday Polynews Roundup for now! See you next Friday, unless something big happens sooner.

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PSA: Upcoming polycons! Four polyamory conventions are scheduled for April: Southwest Love Fest in Tucson, April 3-5; the traveling SoloPoly Conference, this time at a workspace in Manhattan, April 18-19; Rocky Mountain Poly Living in Denver, April 24-26; and RelateCon Boise in Idaho, also April 24-26.

If you've read this far and you're not yet going to any of the big, high-quality polyamory movement events, you should! See Alan's List of Polyamory Events for all 35 happenings on the calendar for the next 12 months.

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A Revelation for Christians

The Christian Post, and elsewhere

The July 29th Newsweek online article about the growth of poly continues to spawn good things. Into this category I put a critical piece that appeared this morning in, among other places, The Christian Post, a large online magazine spanning many conservative denominations. The article is by R. Albert Mohler, president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky.

Of course he's totally opposed. However, he describes polyamory and the people doing it accurately and level-headedly and quotes the Newsweek description at length. As I've said before, this kind of coverage informs millions of people whom we're unlikely to reach that a happy, workable poly life is actually possible. And that normal people are doing it not only successfully, but ethically by secular standards. Such a possibility never used to be even imagined.

Mohler's readers will remember this article if multiple love ever enters their own lives.

Polyamory: The Perfectly Plural Postmodern Condition

By R. Albert Mohler, Jr.

Once a sexual revolution is set loose, it inevitably runs its course through the culture. While the current flashpoints of cultural conflict are focused on same-sex marriage and gender issues, others are biding their time. As Newsweek magazine makes clear, some new flashpoints are getting restless.

Polyamory, reports Newsweek, is having a "coming-out-party." Polyamory is the current "term of art" applied to "families" or "clusters" comprised of multiple sexual partners.... Advocates of polyamory... define their movement in terms of the moral principle of "ethical nonmonogamy," defined as "engaging in loving, intimate relationships with more than one person — based upon the knowledge and consent of everyone involved."

...The article in Newsweek, written by Jessica Bennett, presents polyamory as a growing movement that now involves persons in the cultural mainstream. As the magazine reports: "Researchers are just beginning to study the phenomenon, but the few who do estimate that openly polyamorous families in the United States number more than half a million, with thriving contingents in nearly every major city."...

...Bennett quotes Allena Gabosch, director of an organization known as the "Center for Sex Positive Culture," suggesting that polyamory sounds scary to people because "it shakes up their worldview." But, she insists, polyamory might well be "more natural than we think."

...The ultimate sign of our moral confusion becomes evident when virtually no one appears ready to condemn polyamory as immoral. The only arguments mustered against this new movement focus on matters of practicality. Polyamory is certainly not new, but this new movement is yet another reminder that virtually all the fences are now down when it comes to sex and sexual relationships. What comes next?

Read the whole article (Aug. 10, 2009).

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Mainstream poly, anti-capitalist poly, the Harvard Law Review, and the good stuff your relatives are reading from Ask Amy right now

●  The ability to consider new information and change your view in light of actual facts and evidence is a key sign of personal integrity.

"Ask Amy" — the advice columnist Amy Dickinson, who is published in up to 200 newspapers — lays out her changed stance on polyamory in this column that your parents and sibs may be reading right now: Ask Amy: Our son and his wife just told us they’re polyamorous (week of March 7).

Thank you to the many of you who have written to Amy over the years and helped lead her to change her mind.

Dear Amy: Our son and daughter-in-law, married for about six years, recently dropped a bomb on my husband and me.

They told us they are involved in polyamorous relationships where each has another partner, lover or person they each spend a lot of time with outside of the marriage.

They tell us that this lifestyle is becoming more common. They are in their mid-30s, and don’t have children.

We are having a hard time understanding this choice and accepting what this will mean for our relationship going forward, and for our larger family. We are the only family members they have shared this information with so far, and we are sworn to secrecy.

They may have eased their consciences by telling us, but now we are left with troubling and unsettling information and no place to go with it. We assured them that we will never stop loving them, but this is awkward for us.

What can we do to ease our troubled minds?

— Bewildered Parents

Amy Dickinson

Bewildered: ...You may define marriage as monogamy until divorce or death, but as people explore their freedom to redefine the boundaries of what it means to be married, they may choose “ethical non-monogamy,” which is where they remain lovingly married, but are free to engage in other romantic relationships in a way that they believe is open and honest. They don't define this as infidelity. It is about consensual relationships.

In my opinion, the important question is how these polyamorous relationships will affect children growing up in families with three or four adults who all identify as parents and partners. If all the adults are stable, loving, and committed to the children, then I imagine the kids will be fine.

Take a breath, do some reading about polyamory, and understand that you define marriage one way, while they define it differently.

Unless you and they are religious, this doesn't make it “wrong.” It just makes it “what is.”

This is their life and their choice, and if they want to remove the taboo surrounding polyamory, you should discourage them from defining this as a deep, dark family secret.

They (not you) can explain themselves to other family members when the time comes, and yes — it's bound to be awkward … until it isn't.

● Amy is clear enough there to prompt a reaction from the distinguished president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, Albert Mohler: 'Trust the Bible, Not Amy,' Mohler Says (Christian Headlines, March 9).

Well, do you trust the Bible? Or know someone who does? Please take it out and turn to Exodus 21:10. Here Jehovah Himself instructs men who take an additional wife to continue to support and fill the sexual needs of the first wife:

"If he marries another woman, he must not deprive the first one of her food, clothing and marital rights."  The word that's discreetly translated as "marital" (or "conjugal") in most English versions of the Bible explicitly means "sexual": In the original Hebrew the word is וְעֹנָתָ֖הּ (wə·‘ō·nā·ṯāh), sexual. Here's some rabbinic commentary.

● A rather different major advice columnist, Dan Savage, fields two poly questions this week: about jealousy feelings that won't fade and coming out to family too early: Polyamorous paradise (in many alternative newsweeklies, first week of March). Here's the first of the two:

Joe Newton

...When we started dating, she said she needed us to be poly and I agreed. It was a first for both of us! I'd always been interested—my parents are queer and have been poly my whole life—so it wasn't a new concept to me. Early on, we went on some random dates, made out with some other people, but took it slow because we wanted to build a foundation of trust and love first. Now we're there.

She recently started dating a close friend of ours. In theory, I'm good with it. I adore him and he cares about us as a couple. There's lots of communication happening in all directions. We've even tossed around the idea of some threesomes or foursomes. I can't wait for the day when I am truly stoked for this, and we can all play and love on each other. But I don't want to “overcome the jealousy” or “deal with it.” I want being poly to be something that makes life amazing! But I am still being restricted by silly feelings put in my head via some nefarious patriarchal capitalist hack. Any advice for moving on as quickly as possible into a polyamorous paradise? I want to feel queerer and a little less mainstream!

—Seeking Polyamorous Effortless Wonders

No relationship—closed, open, or poly—is a paradise. Ideally a relationship brings more joy into your life than pain. ... But misunderstandings, disagreements, and hurt feelings are a part of every romantic partnership. And the longer that partnership goes on, the likelier the people in it—couple, throuple, or quad—are going to face the kind of relationship-extinction-level event that requires contrition, forgiveness, and aggressive memory-holing to survive.

As for jealousy… My husband has been with his boyfriend for five years; there are times when I see them together and I am not just happy for them, SPEW, but made happy by them. (I’m straining to avoid the term “compersion” here, or “the other c-word,” as it’s known at our house.) But there are times when I feel jealous… and if I’m still experiencing jealousy after 20+ years in an open relationship… and still experiencing jealousy after 30+ years being pretty fucking queer… I don’t think jealousy is something you need to completely overcome before opening your relationship or that that being “queerer” cures.

And it’s important to distinguish between different kinds of jealousy. There’s the healthy kind of jealousy (someone is being neglected or taken for granted, and their feelings need to be considered), there’s the unhealthy kind of jealousy (someone is controlling and manipulative, which is a red flag for abuse), and then there’s the sexy and energizing kind of jealousy (seeing your partner through another’s eyes and recognizing—or being reminded—of your partner’s desirability).

... You need to ask yourself what kind of jealousy you’re feeling at a particular moment. If it’s the healthy kind, ask for you what you need; if it’s the unhealthy kind, get your ass into therapy; if it’s the sexy and energizing kind, enjoy the ride.

And finally… It’s good that you’re taking your time, because rushing things is a good way to fuck this up. But paradoxically, if you wait until you’re no longer experiencing any jealousy—or no longer have conflicted feelings about this—you’ll never get there.

Read on.

●  In a different vein, Challenging Monogamy Is a Political Act. The institution has its roots in capitalism and colonialism. (Feb. 17) It's in Novara Media, "addressing the issues that are set to define the 21st century, from a crisis of capitalism to racism and climate change." It features the indigenous American activist and scholar Kim TallBear.

By Sophie K Rosa

Even among “people who consider themselves progressive […] there’s a deep resistance” to non-monogamy, says Kim TallBear, a professor at the University of Alberta, who specialises in decolonial sexualities. ...

On the left, critiques of non-monogamy and polyamory are often framed in neoliberal terms. Choosing to have sex with multiple people, or to sustain multiple romantic relationships, some argue, mirrors individualistic, free-market ideology. But according to polyamorous educator Leanne Yau, versions of both non-monogamy and monogamy can be criticised as “relationship capitalism”.

...Yau takes issue with the stereotype that non-monogamous people have shallower relationships, or that they tend to instrumentalise people. “You can commit to multiple people and accept them flaws and all,” she says. “While there are people who commodify others in non-monogamy, that also happens in monogamy.” 

Non-monogamy can be a deeply political project. 

It can be a privilege to dismiss non-monogamy as a flimsy or apolitical idea, argues TallBear. Queer people, for instance, she says, “don’t really get away with feeling like it’s irrelevant” because they don’t fit into heterosexual dictates to begin with. Race also plays a part in this. “I think many white people, especially, don’t have a sense that [non-monogamy can be] a deeply political project” for some people of colour, she says, beyond the idea that it is “vaguely pushing back against religious norms or restrictions.” 

Even among leftists, it goes widely unacknowledged that monogamy not only has its roots in capitalism, but that it was violently enforced upon colonised peoples, says TallBear. Monogamous and non-monogamous people alike often “have no sense of the way that [monogamous settler] marriage and straightness was imposed on people in order to build the nation-state.” 

Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah, author of The Sex Lives of African Women, explains that in Ghana, for example, British colonisers framed multiplicitous relationship structures – any alternative relational forms – as immoral, while institutionalised heterosexual monogamous marriage was seen as a civilised form of kinship. “A diversity of relationship types was lost, and a form of relationships that wasn’t native to us became what was regarded as the norm,” says Sekyiamah. ...

It’s not just for the white middle class. 

...Non-monogamy can be part of building queerer, more comradely and communal futures. When researching for her book, Sekyiamah found that the women she interviewed who “seemed to me to be the happiest women, the women with the best sex lives”, were those “not conforming to societal norms [but] trying to figure things out for themselves.”  

...But while challenging the dominance of compulsory monogamy is important both politically and in terms of building more conscious relationships, it doesn’t mean we have to pit different relationship styles against each other.

Yau says she rarely encounters non-monogamous people who are “anti-monogamy” – those who are, she says, are often “newbies”, insecure in their new way of being in a mononormative world. More often, she finds, when monogamy does come into criticism, it isn’t the idea itself that is being challenged, but “either the institution of monogamy – compulsory monogamy – [or] the toxic parts of monogamy: the idea that jealousy equals love and care, or that love is sacrifice, or that your partner should be able to meet all of your needs, or that your one romantic partner should be the sole focus of your entire existence […] or that the relationship escalator is how you should find meaning in your life.”  

Non-monogamous people are very rarely interested in replacing monogamy, but in imagining a society beyond compulsory monogamy. It isn’t all about romance and sex, either. ... Asexual and aromantic polyamorists have taught her a lot about this, [TallBear] says, through their capacity to “have multiple, caring, mutually sustainable” committed partnerships that might not include romantic love or sex at all. ...

In Yau’s view, intentional, “healthy monogamous relationships” are not so different from non-monogamous ones anyway. Whether or not you’re having sex with more than one person, you can sustain multiple close relationships. “In non-monogamy all you’re doing [differently],” she says, “is doing romantic or sexual things with more than one person.” ...

Sophie K Rosa is a freelance journalist. ... Her book, provisionally titled Radical Intimacy, will be published by Pluto Books in 2023.

Read the whole article.

●  The Harvard Law Review examines the future of legalized multiple-partner domestic partnerships such as those recently enacted in Somerville, Cambridge, and Arlington, Massachusetts. This article will be a key legal reference point going forward: Three’s Company, Too: The Emergence of Polyamorous Partnership Ordinances (March 10).

This Note examines potential legal challenges to multiple-partner domestic partnership ordinances. Part I describes communities that the ordinances serve, characterizes the discrimination and harassment that communities face, and explains what CNM people will gain from the passage of these ordinances. Part II surveys the complex legal questions that these ordinances generate, such as local government’s authority to pass them, state preemption through civil and criminal statutes, criminalization through anti-bigamy laws, and the application of comity doctrine in other cities and states. Part III evaluates approaches for addressing challenges that the ordinances may face at the municipal, state, and federal levels, such as legislative advocacy and litigation based on gay rights precedents. Ultimately, the ordinances likely will survive challenges and show that, legally speaking, “three is company, too.”

Although the article is called a "Note," it's 10,000 words long and has 186 footnotes. I guess that's a note by Harvard Law Review standards.

● Another basic, accurate poly/ non-monogamy 101, the sort we're seeing all over these days, appeared in Vice: A Monogamous Person's Guide to Exploring Non-Monogamy. "More and more people are turning to alternative relationship styles, but how should newbies approach it?" (Feb. 9, by Simon Doherty).

It quotes an interesting bit of insight from Janet Hardy, about opening couples: 

“There's nearly always going to be one partner who is more adventurous about outside relationships and one who is less so,” she says. “If you’re doing it right, you wind up with one person feeling just a little bit stretched and pushed, but within their tolerance, and one person who's feeling a little bit constrained, but within their tolerance.

“So if everybody is just a little bit unhappy, that's a good sign that you're doing it right. If one person is delighted and the other person is unhappy, then that's a good sign that you're doing it wrong.”

● Cosmopolitan has been riding the poly trend hard, with 64 online articles tagged "polyamory" in the last six years. The latest: 10 Polyamory Experts to Follow on TikTok (Feb. 2).

● But you still encounter Poly 101 pieces that are plain stupid and get almost every other sentence wrong. For instance, Multiple Lives: How Do Polyamorous Relationships Work? on the site of the Ashley Madison imitator VictoriaMilan, a cheaters' dating service ("Relive the passion. Find your affair. 6.2 million members can't be wrong.") It's a reminder that certain segments of the public are still being fed bullcrap and eating it. Maybe you can tell them by the shit sticking to their teeth when they talk. Be careful when dating.

● Since you asked... here's one more from the British tabs: a happy story that was picked up on this side of the pond by the scummy New York Post's site: I’m in love with a couple after matching with both separately on dating app (March 1).

Charlotte, Jamie and Laura. (Mercury Press & Media)

A UK woman says she’s fallen head over heels in love with a couple after matching with the pair separately — and now the smitten trio have formed a throuple.

“We all date each other, and it’s all equal,” Lora Corser, 28, told Caters News Agency of their polyamorous relationship...

“Initially, I matched with Jamie and Charlotte separately,” Corser said of the instant chemistry among the three soulmates, who live together in Leicester, East Midlands. “We weren’t ever supposed to all be in a relationship but Charlotte and I instantly hit it off.”

And while the lovestruck triumvirate initially intended to date separately, their relationship “grew naturally” to the point where the three are now inseparable.

“This is definitely the most communicative and safe relationship that I think I’ve ever been in,” gushed Farmer of their romantic triple header. ...

● Lastly: Randy Ralston just sent me this historical broadcast from his archives. It's almost 30 years old but sounds remarkably current: From KCAL-9 TV in Los Angeles, December 21, 1993: Open Relationships on the "Shirley" talk show.

I'll explain in a bit why this one is notable for poly-movement historians.

The show devoted all its 43 minutes to interviewing a long-term open MFM triad about their life together. A fourth partner of theirs, a woman who has a husband and other partners of her own, comes on partway through the show. The whole extended network is on great terms with one another.

The married couple met their other main partner at a "workshop in California" where they explored depths of communication, sexuality, and human relationships. The husband mentions Stan Dale, which confirms that these were Human Awareness Institute events, probably at Harbin Hot Springs, California. Stan Dale (1929-2007) founded and ran HAI, which became an early seedbed for the modern polyamory movement and its early message-spreaders, roots that are generally forgotten today (2022).

The people on the show may have 1970s-ish hairstyles, but they talk the talk of high-quality, best-practices, successful ethical polyamory as we see it 29 years later. Way back then, HAI set much of the movement's communicate-communicate-communicate ideology, its takes on jealousy and insecurity and how to deal with them and what they can mean, and some of today's common phraseology as you will recognize in the video.

They do not yet, however, use the word "polyamory," nor does the host or anyone else on the show. The word was still too new and unknown; it originated elsewhere just three years earlier. (Even Loving More magazine didn't settle on "polyamory" as the word for what it was doing until 1995, two years after this show aired.)

Thanks to Randy for pulling this out of his archives and YouTubing it.

More early history: I've collected significant poly-in-the-media items from before I started this blog in 2005: Older articles, for history's sake. That post is backdated "August 2005" to make it fit here chronologically.   

Also: Many other early items of polyamory in the media, as well as all kinds of early original documents, publications, personal papers, etc., are held in the Kenneth R. Haslam Collection on Polyamory in the Kinsey Institute Library at Indiana University, Bloomington, Indiana. Media items are listed in the Finding Aid to the collection; search the text of that .pdf document for "Series IV) Media Coverage".

And if you have any such material in some old file box (basically pre-2000), please donate it to the Kinsey collection before it is lost, so that scholars and researchers can access it for all time. Write to Kinsey's special collections librarian Liana Zhou, libknsy@indiana.edu. 

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And stepping back for perspective:

We polyamorous people are a small, weird minority of social-rule breakers. Some call us a threat to society. 

Our freedom to live in non-traditional relationships, and to speak up for ourselves about the facts of ourselves, is just one way we depend on a free and pluralistic society that respects people's dignity to create their own lives and to access facts. Such a society is only possible where people have the power to govern themselves, combined with legal structures that are at least supposed to protect the rights of all. 

People who create their own lives, and who insist on the democratic structures and legal protections that enable them to do so, infuriate and terrify the authoritarians who are growing in power around the world and in our own United States. They seek to stamp out people's freedom to go their own way, whether by laws, intimidation, propaganda campaigns, or, eventually, artillery.

For what it's worth, this site has received far more reads from Ukraine over the years (56,400) than from any other country in Eastern Europe.

For now, you can donate to Ukrainian relief through this list of organizations vetted by the Washington Post, or many others. (Avoid scams.) Much more may yet be required of us.

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The Two Big Waves of Polyamory in the News this spring

I've gone way too long without posting! I will speed up Polyamory in the News again. For now, some catch-up.

●  The wave of poly-rights legislation in Pacific Northwest cities (see previous post) caught the attention of, among many others, the New York Times. Which thinks it sees a long-term trend brewing. In the Northwest, Polyamory Finds Something New: Legal Protection (Feb. 28)

From big cities like Seattle and Portland, Ore., to small ones like Astoria, Ore., proponents of “nontraditional” romantic relationships are making headway in getting legal recognition.

By Anna Griffin

Under President Trump’s leadership, the country as a whole is swinging to the right on social policy. But the Pacific Northwest, as usual, is swinging its own way.

A wave of recent local ordinances in large liberal bastions like Portland, Ore., but also smaller communities like Astoria, Ore., which has a population of 10,181, would confer the beginning of legal protections to polyamorous relationships. The goal, pushed by a group based in California, is to establish legally protected family structures for groups of adults who are romantically or otherwise tied together under one roof.

...National Democrats might be trying to move the political conversation away from divisive social policies that helped cost them the White House in 2024, but proponents of the polyamory changes say Mr. Trump and his supporters have forced them to act. Adding protections for “nontraditional” households is a response to efforts to roll back rights for groups that already enjoy legal protections.

...Conservative activists say officials in the Northwest are using the language of nondiscrimination to foster broader cultural changes that have already run afoul of U.S. law, such as polygamy. ... “It’s ultimately an effort to recognize polygamous marriages and to do that by saying it’s discriminatory not to,” said Roger Severino, a vice president at the conservative Heritage Foundation and the architect of many of the first Trump administration’s social policies when he headed civil rights at the Department of Health and Human Services.

...In Portland, city councilors are considering a similar change in city ordinances, which they packaged as part of a response to hundreds of measures being considered in more conservative states to roll back gay and transgender rights.

At a hearing last week, they heard from more than 40 people supporting the addition of broader nondiscrimination laws that would include nontraditional family structures, including several speakers in polyamorous relationships who said clearer legal protections would help them feel more open when going about the day to day business of looking for jobs, renting homes, signing their children up for school or just engaging in small talk.

Brett Chamberlin, executive director of OPEN, the Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Nonmonogamy... cited cases of polyamorous people being denied promotions or fired from their jobs, being denied rental applications from housing providers or being refused a sexually transmitted infection test because they’re listed on paperwork as married.

...“Chosen families take a lot of different forms,” said Ms. [Jessa] Davis, executive director of the Seattle Coalition for Family and Relationship Equity, who is helping with the Olympia [WA] ordinance.  “Even polyamory isn’t just about having sex with multiple people. It’s about what your community looks like.”...

Seattle's NPR station KUOW interviewed the article's author: Polyamorous people want to be Seattle's newest protected class (March 11).

As of May 31 the measures have passed in most of the cities named. But Seattle's City Council has still delayed introducing the legislation. Some advocates of the Seattle measure say councilors are wary of possible political backlash.

●  Almost two months after that Times story, The Guardian followed on at length: Polyamorous Americans are celebrating new laws establishing their ‘inherent worth and dignity’  (The Guardian, May 3)

 AzmanL / Getty

By Jake Thomas

Amy Nash-Kille knows that not everyone would choose a polyamorous family like hers. But she called it the “greatest blessing” of her life.

Nash-Kille said she has spent the last 17 years in a committed relationship with “two gentle, loving men”, sharing the costs and responsibilities of raising four kids.

But she’s concealed her family arrangement from her graduate school adviser, co-workers and even her hairdresser. She said someone harassed her family for more than a year, and she took out a restraining order to stop it before moving her family from a Colorado suburb to Portland, Oregon, in 2011.

In March, the city became the largest in the US to pass an ordinance protecting polyamorous people and multipartnered households from discrimination in housing, jobs and public accommodation. For Nash-Kille and her partners, it was “one of the greatest relief moments of our lives”.

...The new law, she said over email, “is helping to establish the inherent worth and dignity of people who have unusual family configurations when considered by society at large”.

Portland’s ordinance is the latest in a recent wave of cities including West Hollywood and Olympia, Washington’s capital city, extending civil rights protections to those in nontraditional family or romantic arrangements. Eight cities across Massachusetts and the west coast now have some form of legal recognition of polyamorous relationships.

Taken together, the efforts signal the emergence of a stigmatized group as a political constituency, as well as a challenge to the legal dominance of the traditional nuclear family – which has become the exception rather than the rule.

...“I’d like to get the government out of the business of evaluating our personal relationships,” said Diana Adams, an attorney who heads the Chosen Family Law Center and helped write ordinances in Massachusetts.

Adams said their bigger goal isn’t marriage for polyamorous people, but “unbundling” rights and benefits tied up in institutions that favor people in traditional relationships, including taxes, health insurance benefits and hospital visitation.

Brett Chamberlin – the executive director of the Oakland-based Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-monogamy (Open), which has campaigned for the ordinances – said polyamorous people are moving from being viewed as a “lifestyle oddity” to organizing into a movement.

Efforts are already under way for more ordinances in Pacific north-west cities such as Seattle, Eugene and Astoria, as well as Hazel Park, a small city near Detroit. Chamberlin hopes this will eventually create a tipping point where states and the federal government adopt protections for polyamorous people.

A more visible population

...Greater visibility hasn’t always come with greater acceptance. Open’s 2024 survey of nonmonogamous individuals found that 60% had experienced stigma or discrimination when dealing with healthcare, child custody or acceptance from their own families.

...After Portland’s ordinance passed, Skylar Cruz recalled her group chats lighting up with supportive messages. Cruz, a 33-year-old transgender programmer, said she has been in a polyamorous relationship for about a year after she and her male partner of six years added a trans woman to their relationship.

Skylar Cruz between her partners, Jordan Lewis and Robin
Bogushevich, in Times Square, New York. Courtesy Skylar Cruz

...“I feel like we’re at a crossroads in a lot of our political values here in the US,” she said. “And we ultimately have to decide whether or not people are worth protecting for being different. As somebody who is very different, I can’t opt out of being different at this point.”

...Despite the recent momentum for protecting polyamorous people, advocates say there are hurdles ahead. For instance, Seattle’s city council has yet to officially introduce the ordinance that local advocates have lobbied for. ... Davis said councilors in larger cities have privately expressed concern that adding polyamory protections to their municipal code could draw the ire of the Trump administration. ...

...For now, Cruz said, she was considering what the future holds after securing legal protections for her relationship, which she hopes lasts the rest of her life.

“I’ve got probably 50, 60 years left,” she said. “And in that time, I want to ensure that not only are we not being discriminated against, but that we are moving towards being seen as more ordinary, more common, more accepted.”

●  The religious right is taking alarmed notice.  Albert Mohler, president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and the “reigning intellectual of the evangelical movement in the U.S.” (Time once called him), has a huge following – partly because he has earned a reputation as a genuinely thoughtful and kindly man.

Mohler has been distressed by the rise of polyamory since at least 2009. After the New York Times story, he called on red-state legislators to urgently pass laws banning their "blue dot" cities from protecting us from fear of being driven out of our jobs and homes: A Page Out of the LGBTQ Playbook: Liberal Activist for Polyamory Reveals Gameplan – This Should Be a Wakeup Call for State Legislatures (March 12).

This from a kindly and thoughtful man – in his own closed world.  Said Voltaire, "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

------------------------------

●  But the biggest polyamory-in-the-news event of the last two months has been something else: comedian Lindy West's memoir Adult Braces: Driving Myself Sane. And the flood of contrasting media reactions to it, and the reactions to the reactions. The tl;dr: Some feminists called her a sellout. Others defended her choosing the life she wants. The right pounced. The mainstream clucked. 

West was already famous as a brash voice of millennial feminism and fat pride. Adult Braces tells how a case of Poly Under Duress, pushed on her by her spouse, morphed into her more than four great years now in a happy triad. The book is her story of that transformation, centered on a fraught road trip thrashing it out with her spouse  (who identifies as nonbinary and goes by either he/him or they/them), as they drove from Seattle to Florida. Hence the subtitle.

A New York Times headline sums it up: She Wrote a Book About Her Throuple. The Internet Lost Its Mind. (March 31)

By Elizabeth Spiers

...Lindy West has written a 336-page memoir, “Adult Braces,” that, among other things, describes her polyamorous marriage to her husband, Ahamefule Oluo, and their relationship with another woman, Roya Amirsoleymani. Ms. West is a feminist writer and comedian who first gained notoriety for her take-no-prisoners work at Jezebel over a decade ago. She is, therefore, something of an internet character, at least of a certain vintage, with a yearslong trail of writing and posting where she hashes out her ideas and gives readers a sense of who she is.

Sam Whitney/New York Times

Now much of the current-day internet has decided she either isn’t who they thought she was or is lying to herself in saying she’s happy in a throuple. The resulting discourse has ranged from concern that she was coerced into agreeing to nonmonogamy to accusations that she has betrayed feminism.

She wrote an earlier memoir, “Shrill,” which was turned into a TV show starring Aidy Bryant. Ms. West has written searingly about being a fat person in a fatphobic society, reproductive rights and her abortion, and refusing to define herself by how men see her. I picked up “Adult Braces” in part because she has written so well about these issues.

In a recent interview with The Times, Ms. West said she was at first devastated by her husband’s request to open things up. “Our initial conversation was a lot of me crying and being like, I don’t want anyone else,” she said. But after much soul searching and a road trip from Seattle to Florida, she accepted the situation and eventually formed her own relationship with her husband’s girlfriend.

Any discussion of polyamory reliably generates strong opinions. ...

Much of the reaction to Ms. West’s new book has been focused on adjudicating whether she can be truly happy in a throuple when nonmonogamy was her husband’s idea and whether her happiness is consistent with her feminism. Voices on the right claim she is a victim of millennial feminism run amok, and voices on the left claim her situation is a consequence of her feminism not going far enough. Both claims rely on a caricatured idea of what feminism is. 

...Actual feminism is not a neat list of dos and don’ts; it’s simply the idea that women deserve the same agency and rights as men. That includes the ability to decide whom they want to be with and how they choose to conduct their relationships. ...

There’s another element that makes this discourse catnip: She’s not performing marriage the way some would apparently like. People often bring insecurities about their own relationships — what would they do if their partner wanted a third? — to their evaluations....

...Ms. West insists she’s happy. Many of her readers insist she isn’t. But there is no one way to be happy, just as there’s no one way to be a feminist or to conduct a marriage. ...

●  There's been so much media about this that I won't even begin to list it! Here's the lengthy list from Google News (very incomplete) as of the time you read this.  

●  West gives the details of how it began in a podcast with the New York Times' "Modern Love" columnist, Anna Martin: Lindy West Thought She Couldn’t Handle Polyamory. She Was Wrong (March 4). The tl;dr: She and the other woman fell crazy in love, and it has lasted.

Lindy West

...West: It becomes clear that the next thing we need to do is hop on a call and discuss what the heck is going on. Aham [her spouse] and Roya [his new interest] video-called me. There was definitely incredible tension in the air. I think all of us were like: “Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.” And also I don’t want to make it sound easy, because also there’s still the part of me that’s terrified. And so it’s like, inside me are two wolves; one is having the time of her life and is so electrified by this. And the other one is definitely terrified. ... And I’m using my new skills to stay in the moment with what’s actually happening in front of me, which is that I’m feeling really connected with this person, who’s beautiful and sweet and kind and funny and smart, and who loves Aham, and I love Aham. It was a very complicated video call.

Martin: And let’s just say there’s nothing more electric than finding out someone has a crush on you. How did that make you feel?

West: It was very powerful. I was immediately like, “Oh, I like her a lot more all of a sudden.” She had just been this big cloud of mystery and suspicion, and I was like, “How do I know that she’s not trying to get rid of me so that you guys can be together?” And she’s not out there thinking the vile stuff that is happening in my head. She’s out there thinking: “Oh, Lindy’s beautiful. And she seems so smart and interesting. I would love to get to know Lindy.”

And I am processing my changing feelings about Roya while I’m on the road trip. And I think I started to feel so soothed by that feeling of safety. I liked the feeling of not having a stab of panic when Aham brought up Roya’s name. And all of a sudden I wasn’t having that anymore. And I was like: “What is this new place? I want to stay here.”

Martin: The circumstances of Aham and Roya’s relationship haven’t changed. If anything, they’ve intensified, right? So the safety you feel, that’s you. You’ve created that safety, no?

West: Yes. Absolutely. And that’s why it was different, I think. So the trip continues, and I’m talking to Aham more and more about Roya. And I believe Aham sent me a sexy underwear pic of Roya with her consent. And I was like, “OK, you can tell her that that’s a beautiful photo.” I’m such a dork.

...I suggested, “Why doesn’t Roya come up to Seattle, and we’ll see what happens?” I went by myself to pick her up. And she was instantly captivating. Like she was just so pretty and so sunny and smiley. And then we went to the show, and Roya and I held hands. Then we went to a bar, and Roya and I were sitting next to each other talking, and some drunk guy came up and grabbed her arm. And I was like, “I’m going to [expletive] kill that guy.” And I kind of bodied him away from us. The feeling I had was like: “That’s my girlfriend. Why would you think you can just touch her?” And then we went to the hotel, and we [all three] had sex, and it was really fun.

...Martin: In 2022, you, Aham and Roya announce what’s happening in your relationship. Can you tell me about that?

West: We were a romantic triad. We didn’t really know how to launch. Because it felt intrusive and stressful, and I felt resentful about it. Like why do I have to explain my life to people? But it really was eye-opening to me how angry people are about non-monogamy. And I think it’s because everyone thinks that if it becomes normalized, then their husband is going to say, “Now I need to have a girlfriend.” And I just want to say that you don’t have to do that. I wasn’t looking for it, but it found me. And I too had that fear, and it came true, except what I found on the other side was a way better life than before for me.

Martin: Why? How?

West: I just feel so much more freedom for myself. I have two people who love me instead of one. And it’s really just three people that live in a house instead of two. And we all help with the dishes.

Martin: That sounds kind of nice.

West: Yes. So we’re all three together, still. We’re into year five.

●  The kerfuffle has spread worldwide. Just one example, a friendly one in Ukraine: A Prominent Feminist Opens Up About Polyamory and How It Transformed Her Marriage (112.ua, a news site promising "independence, impartiality, and only verified information," May 19).

Translated from Відома феміністка випустила мемуари про поліаморію: як це змінило її шлюб, which talks about polyamoriyu without explanation as if readers already know what it is:      

By Shostal, Oleksandr

According to Vox - Feminist writer and activist Lindy West has released her fourth book, 'Adult Braces,' a memoir detailing her journey into an open marriage and her experiences with polyamory. The book has sparked lively debates online, particularly around themes of honesty in relationships and the evolving dynamics of marriage.

Polyamory Within Marriage

In 'Adult Braces,' West recounts how she and her spouse, Aham—a nonbinary individual who uses he/him and they/them pronouns—navigated the shift toward polyamory. The memoir also explores her relationship with a third partner named Roya, who moved in with West and Aham. This new relationship structure challenges conventional ideas about marriage and partnership.

The book has received mixed reactions on social media, where readers are actively discussing the issues West raises. ... West also emphasizes that 'she has autonomy, and it’s her choice.' These statements highlight the importance of personal agency in relationships—a central theme of the book.

Ultimately, 'Adult Braces' offers more than just a personal narrative; it contributes to broader conversations about relationships, marriage, and polyamory, drawing attention from a wide audience.

This memoir marks a significant step in expanding understanding and acceptance of diverse relationship models, as polyamory becomes an increasingly common topic of public discussion. It raises questions about traditional views of family and partnership, encouraging readers to rethink their own perspectives on love and commitment. The relevance of the issues explored in 'Adult Braces' reflects a growing need for new approaches and openness to experimentation in emotional connections.

More catching up on the news coming soon. 

------------------------------

Speaking of Ukraine...  as I said in the deep dark cold of their recent winter with bombed power plants, these people don't give up. Now the changing tide of the war shows that, if you don't give up, fortune sometimes swings your way.

And if you still don't get what this war means to our own future... you need the long view.

BTW, the Telegram logo of PolyamoryUkraine:

 

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